If you want to make the right impression on a special lady, you need to understand how to text a girl versus what you should avoid.
The art of flirting and attraction is hella confusing. Do you ask her out right away or take it slowly? Do you text her, “how’s it going?” or start with a joke? The amount of energy that goes into this could supply energy to a small town. It’s so difficult to know how to text a girl properly.
Now that several dating apps have taken over the dating sphere, you have to start your text with something original. Just look at the competition you have – it’s virtually endless. But don’t worry, there are tons of things to text a girl.
So, it’s time to freshen up your intro texts and catch your girl’s attention. [Read: Rules of texting – 15 unwritten texting rules you need to remember]
Why knowing how to text a girl is important
While some guys are great with words, many are not. These guys want to keep texts as short and infrequent as possible.
Regardless of how you feel about texting in general, texting is the main way you’ll communicate with a girl while you’re getting to know her. If you do it right, you’ll land a date *or more*. If you do it wrong, you could blow your chances with her.
Good texting skills will help you show off your charm and let her know that you make talking to her and getting to know her a priority in your life. But if you make mistakes, it can make you seem awkward or uninterested in her.
That’s why it’s important to know how to text a girl the right way. [Read: What to text a girl you just met – 25 ideas to ensure that she texts you back]
How long should you wait to text a girl after getting her number?
If you do any amount of research into this question, you’ll come up with a million answers. The reason? There is no right or wrong answer here!
It’s not the best idea to text her literally seconds after she gives you her number. That would make you look extremely eager. But, you don’t have to wait three days, or however long it is supposed to be these days, either.
If you want to text her, go ahead and do it. Forget the so-called rules. [Read: 15 dating rules for men that’ll transform your dating game]
The do’s and don’ts of texting a girl the right way
If your phone is shaking in your hands, calm down! You’re not asking her hand in marriage, you know. Talking to girls may not be your forte, but with these helpful points on how to text a girl, you’ll be Mr Popular in no time.
The do’s
1. Know your goal
What’s the goal of talking to her? You got her number for a reason, right? If you want to go out with her, know that at some point, you’ll be wanting to ask her that question.
Keep the goal in mind so you don’t end up talking via Facebook messenger for 10 years. [Read: How to ask a girl out on a date]
2. Be yourself
Don’t try to be someone who’s super outgoing and then in person, you’re like a church mouse. Be who you are.
If you don’t like rap music and she does, don’t try to pretend you know all the words to the latest rap hit. Think this way – if she likes you, great. If not, move on.
3. Make her laugh
Girls love to laugh. Everyone loves to laugh. So, feel free to crack a couple of jokes or send her something funny.
Don’t be too forceful with the jokes. And if she’s not laughing, well, maybe Google some new jokes. A joke is one of the great things to text a girl. [Read: 50 flirty text messages that are sure to make her smile]
4. Something that made you think of her
If you see a post online or hear someone talking about something that reminds you of her, text her. Why not? It’ll show her that you’re thinking of her and she’ll probably appreciate it.
Also, it’s a great way to start a conversation without just saying, “hey.” [Read: 25 fun and flirty ways to say ‘hi’ in a text message in a casual way]
5. Recommend a movie or song
Why not send her new movie trailers or music videos?
This is a great way to not only see something new, but it opens up the space for conversation. Also, if it’s a new movie, well, it’s a great way to ask her out.
6. Make her feel special
Whether or not she’s the only girl you’re talking to, you want to make her feel like she’s #1. No one wants to feel like they’re just one out of the many girls you’re trying to get with.
So, when you talk to her, actually talk to her. [Read: 20 flirty ways to text your crush and get them interested]
7. Remember the details
If you remember the small details like her dog had surgery yesterday, why not text her asking her how it went? She’ll appreciate you asking and also notice the fact that you remembered.
Trust us, women see these things. It’s all about the details.
8. Tease her
This doesn’t mean you should verbally abuse her, just playfully tease her.
Poke fun at her a bit, she’ll have a good laugh – and you’ll also relax the atmosphere. [Read: How to be a tease – 13 really flirty moves to capture their attention]
9. Flirt with her
You have to show her that you’re not interested in her as just a friend – you want more. Now, you don’t have to fully say that you want more. So, instead, flirt with her.
It’s a good way to build up some sexual tension without sending a dick pic. Right?
10. Make fun of yourself
Mysterious guys are fun to chase, but once you get them, they’re boring. Why? Because they’re so uptight and serious.
You want to be someone who can take a joke and also doesn’t take themselves so seriously. [Read: How to avoid the friend zone and make her desire you]
11. Keep it short and sweet
No one wants to read an essay on their phone. So, when you’re writing her, keep the text short and sweet. Say what you want to say without adding filler sentences.
Her eyes will thank you.
12. Get a little dirty
Okay, so we said no dick pics and we stand by that rule. But you can text her something a little riskier. It depends on how you two met and how the conversation has been going.
If you guys are hardly speaking and you all of a sudden send her an “I’m thinking of you naked” text, well, you look weird. [Read: 20 dirty questions to ask a girl and leave her wet and horny]
13. Create a memory for the two of you
You want to develop an attachment and emotional connection between you two. So, try to develop a memory. It could be a pet name for each other or an inside joke that’s only for you two.
You want her to have a positive association with you.
14. Ask her questions
You want to choose questions that suit your purpose. If you want to ask a flirtatious, personal, or funny question, then be ready to respond to her answer.
Even the best questions can get you into trouble if you don’t show interest in how she responds. Have a few of them in your back pocket so you have them ready to go at a moment’s notice. [Read: How to get to know a girl – 20 ways to see if she’s perfect for you]
15. Send “good morning” or “good night” texts
All girls like good morning and good night texts. It lets her know that she is the first thing on your mind in the morning and the last thing on it at night before you go to sleep.
But depending on how well you know her, you should be careful with this one. You don’t want to smother her and push her away. So, if you just met, then use it sparingly. [Read: Good morning texts – 50 ways to start someone’s day with a smile]
16. Use her name
If you just met her, you don’t want to start calling her pet names right off the bat. Instead, use the actual name that she goes by.
If you use a pet name or things like “baby” or “babe,” she might be creeped out that you’re using names that are just too personal when you don’t know someone that well.
Also, it sounds generic, like you could send it to any girl. That’s why using her actual name is best. [Read: How to be likable without a lot of effort or changing who you are]
17. Remind her of something that happened when you met
You want her to know that meeting her was a great moment for you. And you want her to feel the same way, right?
So, in one of your texts, you can put her back in that positive mindset by reminding her of something funny or interesting that happened when you met.
Using the funny approach is always a safe bet because she’ll associate you with laughter, and all girls like that! [Read: How to be more interesting – 21 tricks to go from boring to lovable]
18. Use proper grammar
Yes, in today’s day and age, texting lingo is a thing. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy to read. In fact, sometimes it just gives the message that you are too lazy to actually type out full words.
If you use bad grammar, you will sound uneducated or dumb. And you certainly don’t want that, do you?
19. Mirror her texting behavior
In other words, do what she does. If she sends only a few words, then send a few word responses back to her. Or if she types a lot, then feel free to say more.
Maybe she waits for a few hours to respond, well, you do that too. When you mirror her texting behavior, then she will never think you are overly needy – or uninterested. [Read: Texting etiquette and flirting – 26 rules guys and girls must follow]
20. Create anticipation
You might be surprised to hear this, but sometimes girls don’t want you to text back immediately every time. But it’s not because they want you to play hard to get.
Instead, it’s because she wants a guy with a life – a job, friends, hobbies, etc. In other words, she wants someone who has better things to do than just sitting around and texting her all day.
Make her wait a little between texts. That way, she will be anxious to hear from you. [Read: How to text after a date and make them fall for you even harder]
21. Let her know that you’re thinking about her
Women love to know that you’re thinking of them. Whether she’s romantically interested in you or not, there’s still something nice about knowing somewhere in the great wild yonder, someone has you on their mind.
Just don’t follow up with a text describing how you’re thinking about her with a raging hard-on.
22. Send her random messages
Sometimes, learning what to text a girl has less to do with starting a conversation and more to do with giving her an anecdote. If you run across a wacky customer at work or witness a real character in line at your local coffee shop, share your experiences with her!
You’re not looking to chit-chat, you’re looking to entertain her. Take a mental note of hilarious tidbits you encounter throughout the week and hit her where it counts – her funny-bone! [Read: How to make a girl laugh and 29 ways to make her get a crush on you]
23. Focus on getting to know her
That’s the whole point of learning what to text a girl, right? Send her cute texts that are simple enough for her to answer quickly, but that have the potential to start a conversation and get to know her better. [Read: 60 get-to-know-you questions for a new romance!]
24. Start a fun debate
Now, when you do this make sure you steer clear of any contentious subjects that could go down a very awkward path. Keep it light and fun.
You could debate about your favorite character in a show you both like, or what type of music is better.
25. Create an ‘in’ joke
When you have an ‘in’ joke, it means you have a personal connection and that’s something you can use to build your budding relationship! [Read: Why girls love funny guys]
26. Text pictures of what you’re doing
But, remember – no dick pics! If you’re out and about and you see a great sunset, send her a picture. If you’re enjoying a rather cute looking coffee, snap it.
It’ll help her get to know you better.
The don’ts
27. Make a big deal of it
If you pump it up to be some big event in your head, *which, let’s be honest, it’s not a big deal*, you’ll freak out.
And what happens when you’re anxious? You say something stupid. So just think of it like you’re texting one of your friends. If you can’t do that, write out your text and don’t send it until later. [Read: How to text a girl you like and make her want you]
28. Dick pics
Listen, you may be well-endowed, but no girl really wants to get a picture of your dick. In fact, let’s keep things a little mysterious by not showing it.
By not sending a dick pic, you’re actually showing that you’re not simply sex-oriented. We don’t even think we should be having to tell you this. Keep that dick zipped up.
29. Be too pushy
If you’re asking a girl out twice a day, she’s going to avoid it. You’re annoying. No one likes to be pushed into doing something.
So, if you ask once and she doesn’t directly say yes *or she cancels at the last minute*, don’t ask again for a while. In fact, don’t even ask again. But, if you want to keep trying, just pull back a bit. [Read: 25 clear signs you should back off when pursuing a girl]
30. Always be flirty
Okay, so we said that you should flirt, and you should, But you don’t always have to be flirty. You’re also a human being, not a sex machine.
So, strike up a conversation about a topic that really interests you/her, or ask her questions that’ll help you get to know her. [Read: Make her yours – How to flirt with a girl over text]
31. Always be the one to text
Don’t always be the one to text her. If you notice that you’re the one always starting the conversation, stop and see if she starts it.
If not, she’s probably not overly interested in you. Sorry to break it to you, but, it’s the truth. If she starts the conversation, she doesn’t want you to go away. [Read: The best ways to tell if she’s flirting or just being friendly]
32. Harass her with texts if she doesn’t answer
There’s little in life that is more annoying than being harassed via text message or social media. Get a clue, dude, she’s ignoring you for a reason!
33. Be a dumbass
There’s a fine line between being flirtatious and just being downright creepy. Take a moment to re-read your text to a girl before you hit the send button.
If it makes you sound like a weirdo or a total perv, odds are you should delete it and start again. [Read: 20 texting etiquette tips and tricks for classy dating]
34. Say the first ‘I love you’ over text
“I love you” is still one of the most monumental moments in a relationship. The highlights are first date, first “I love you,” your engagement, your wedding, and any subsequent babies you may have.
Don’t cheapen an amazing moment like your first “I love you” by making her guess your tone of voice through words on a screen.
Be a romantic and say it in person! The only exception to this rule is if you are in a long distance relationship. Even then… man up and Skype her instead! [Read: When should you say “I love you” for the first time?]
35. Ask for nudes
Seriously, this up there with sending dick pics – don’t do it!
36. Ask for validation
You might want it, you’re human after all, but don’t ask for it. If you’re asking for her to tell you how wonderful you are, she’s going to think you’re either desperate for attention or pretty sad.
Don’t be either. [Read: 6 reasons to love yourself first before falling in love]
37. Use her as a therapist
She is not there to solve your problems or make you feel better. You’re supposed to be showing her how wonderful you are and trying to get her to agree to a date.
Trying to make her act like your therapist isn’t going to achieve those aims.
38. Send one-word answers
By doing this, you look totally uninterested and she’s going to become frustrated very quickly. She will wonder why you bothered initiating the conversation if all you’re going to do is say ‘yes’ and ‘no.’
Come on, use your imagination and keep that conversation flowing! [Read: How to keep a conversation going with a girl and make her brighten up]
39. Only text at night
If you do this, she’s going to assume that you’re after one thing. Unless you’re specifically going for a booty call type of situation, mix up your texting times.
Good conversation text starters to try
Of course, the most difficult part of learning how to text a girl is to actually break the ice. How do you send that first text and grab her attention? Or, how do you send a first text that day and hope she’s into chatting?
Basically, anything other than ‘hey’ will do! You need to show some imagination and make her think that texting you back and forth is going to be a fun experience.
To help you out, let’s check out 10 good conversation text starters to try. [Read: Drawing a blank? Try these 25 good conversation starters]
1. How is your day? What can I do to make it much better?
2. Tell me a joke!
3. Do you have a favorite podcast? I need a new one
4. I’ve just had the best ice cream. We’ll have to go sometime [Read: Top 10 fun and romantic summer date ideas]
5. You were waiting for me to text, weren’t you? (Add in a winking face to show you’re joking!)
6. What are your plans this evening?
7. Have you seen ….? – Insert any news story or funny story you’ve seen on social media that’s doing the rounds
8. What is your favorite breakfast?
9. I’m looking for a new spot for dinner, any suggestions?
10. What has been the best part of today so far? [Read: 35 best text conversation starters for the shy and socially awkward]
How to keep the conversation going
You might be patting yourself on the back at this point, happy that you’ve broken the ice and started a conversation. But, how do you keep that chat going?
Sometimes, starting a conversation is much easier than the rest. You want to continue texting back and forth and then have a regular texting buddy after that. Learning how to text a girl means knowing how to avoid conversation boredom.
1. Know when to stop
This might sound counterproductive, but wait a minute. Maybe she’s busy.
If she’s sending you one word answers and you get the idea that she’s preoccupied, back off and let her come to you. [Read: People who talk too much – Why they do it and 21 ways to handle them]
2. Ask interesting questions
Don’t just do the usual, ‘how are you?’ It lacks imagination and it’s boring. Instead, come up with some interesting and unique questions to ask and then pepper them into your chat.
Of course, don’t throw questions at her like she’s in a job interview either.
3. Ask about her life and background
Don’t delve into sensitive subjects, but ask regular questions about her life and background. Then, use what she tells you to come up with further questions to keep the chat going.
Of course, you also need to be ready to answer any questions she asks you! [Read: 177 fun random questions to ask a girl and make her enjoy your company]
4. Ask about her hopes and dreams
Everyone likes to be asked about positive subjects such as this. Show her that you’re interested and she’ll feel more comfortable opening up and talking about it.
You’ll see the passion and happiness radiating through her words and she will associate these good feelings with talking to you.
Chill out, it’s just a text!
It’s so easy to become anxious when sending a text to a girl you like, but remember that she’s just another human being! All you’re doing is having a conversation and you’ll see what comes of it.
Try not to become so engrossed in the texting that you become nervous when you don’t get an immediate reply. Send the text, put your phone down and distract your mind. If you’re relaxed, it will shine through in your messages.
[Read: Texting anxiety – How to send and receive texts without freaking out]
If you follow these tips for things to text a girl and don’t send her a dick pic, well, why wouldn’t she be interested in talking to you? If she’s not, then she’s not the one for you. It’s as simple as that.
