How to Get a Girl to Sleep With You: 15 Steps to Seal the Deal

Can’t seem to get past the hanging out phase? Trust me, you’re not doing something right, so read these tips for how to get a girl to sleep with you.

how to get a girl to sleep with you

I’ve been around the block, lemme tell ya. I know what works with women and what doesn’t work. Why? Because I am one and though I have the ability to sleep with anyone I want, I’m selective. This is the case for most women. I’ll let you in on a few secrets for how to get a girl to sleep with you.

How to get a girl to sleep with you

Why do women choose to sleep with one guy over the other? You probably think it’s associated to looks, but it’s not. I mean, sure, if you’re good-looking, getting laid may be easier for you. But there are many average looking guys getting laid consistently.

Let’s look beyond the aesthetics. If you only think to yourself, “Well, I’m not getting laid because I don’t look like Brad Pitt” that’s a part of the problem. It’s time to look beyond that and really think about the factors of why you’re unable to seal the deal with a girl. It’s shouldn’t be a Rubix cube problem.

#1 Admit to yourself, this isn’t working. Whatever plan to try to get girls to sleep with you isn’t working. Just admit it. I mean, I get it. You tried, but if nothing is happening, it’s time to change the way you do things.

So, acknowledge that you don’t know what you’re doing. Great, now let’s focus on changing the way you do things. [Read: How to be attractive to women: Be a cut above all other guys]

#2 Women are mental. No, I don’t mean we’re crazy. What I mean is we work off of mental stimulation. Sure, you can be the hottest guy in the room but if you don’t know how to socialize with a woman, you won’t get far. You can do this through texting or chatting face-to-face, but the point is, you attempt to make yourself the guy she thinks about when she’s home alone.

#3 Don’t rush things. Many men have this problem. When they see the girl is somewhat interested, they jump on her like she’s prey. Listen, if she’s somewhat interested, she’s not fully on your side, so don’t scare her away.

Talk to her, get to actually know her, and build a connection. Remember what I said, women need to be mentally stimulated. If you jump this step, she notices you only want ass. [Read: How to seduce her like a gentleman]

#4 You must build trust. Are you pissed that you can’t seem to get a girl to come to your place? Well, it’s because she doesn’t trust you. She doesn’t have to trust you to the point where she knows you’ll throw yourself in front of a bullet for her. But, she needs to feel safe around you.

If she doesn’t feel safe, she’s not going anywhere. The only way to do this is through conversation. Be genuine, mention a flaw you have or a personal issue—this builds trust because you open up to her.

#5 Flirt with her. No one wants to hear about the history of the Ottoman Empire at a bar. Listen, we all go to bars for a reason: in hopes of getting laid. Anyone who says it’s just a girl’s night is full of shit. If you drone on about your job or how stressful school is, well, I should tell you now, she doesn’t care. That is not making her wet. You need to flirt with her, tease her, build the sexual tension. [Read: Fractionation seduction – How men seduce women using emotions]

#6 Make it clear you’re attracted to her. You need to let her know you’re not interested in a friendship. Once that’s established, then she chooses whether or not she’s going to stick around with you. Let her know you’re attracted to her.

But don’t tell her “you’re hot” or “you’re sexy”. Any idiot can say that. Compliment her on something specific. Better yet, also compliment her on something non-sexual, such as her personality or smile. [Read: 13 naughty ways to get out of the friend zone in no time]

#7 Use touch. Now, don’t be aggressive with touching or else you’ll scare her away. Stay away from the whole physical harassment zone. When you talk to her, touch her arm or hand, mid-back—keep it in places which aren’t sexualized. Gauge how she responds. If she moves away, then keep your hands to yourself. If she leans in, then she lets you know it’s okay.

That is unless she says, “Don’t touch me.” Then, don’t touch her. In fact, I would count that as a no in general. [Read: 20 types of physical touches and what they all mean]

#8 Keep the communication going. Keep the line of communication open between you two. If you met her recently and have her number, either call or text her. Try to build a relationship with her. That way, you continue flirting via text and build the sexual tension. By the time you ask her out, you have everything lined up. Simply make sure you take it easy from here on out!

#9 What are people’s perception of you? How people perceive you is a huge indicator of why you are or are not getting laid. If people perceive you as insecure, well, that’s not a trait women look for in a man. Now, we all have insecurities, and she finds out eventually. But if you look glum and insecure right when someone looks at you, this affects the outcome. [Read: 12 ways to tell if she’s flirting or just being friendly]

#10 Be confident. Confidence is really the key to getting what you want. I mean, if you’re not confident, it’s okay. This is something you should develop on your own time. However, the saying, “fake it ’til you make it” does really help when it comes to building confidence. If you want her, you need to show you can have her.

#11 How’s the hygiene? I’m not saying you need to be in designer clothes, but you need to look clean. A shower, a haircut, you know, the basics. If you look like someone who may have a STI, no one is going to risk it.

There’s the grunge look, which is fine, but then there’s the unclean look—two different things. So, if you attempt to pull off the “I just came back from camping” look, you can, but don’t actually do the whole “I just came back from camping and they didn’t have a shower” look. Get what I mean? [Read: Manscaping: What girls want to see on a guy’s body]

#12 Foreplay is essential. When I’m kissing a guy, much of what’s happening during foreplay determines whether or not I’m going to sleep with him. If he’s too aggressive or his kisses are too wet for my liking, I probably won’t sleep with him. I can already tell that the sex won’t be worth it. This doesn’t mean the sex would be bad, but how you kiss and touch a woman before sex is a huge indicator of how you are in bed.

#13 Work on your kissing technique. I don’t care if you ask a girl friend to teach you how to make out or to platonically critique you on your skills. You need to know if what you do is right or not. You don’t know how you kiss unless you ask someone. And, truth be told, women love kissing. So, if you’re too fast, using too much tongue, going out of rhythm—not good signs. [Read: How to kiss a girl for the first time and not screw up]

#14 Body language is key. Interestingly enough, Psychology Today states that body language is the most important factor when it comes to seduction. Through your body, you need to show a woman that you’re interested, dominant, and confident. These are the three things. Whether you have these three things or not, pretend you do.

#15 Do not force it. Now, this may sound conflicting. I just gave you all these tips, and now I tell you to relax. But it’s true. Use these tips but don’t force it. [Read: She wants the D – 19 signs she wants you to take her home]

Women can tell when you try too hard. Know where to touch her, but if you’re not comfortable with touching her, then don’t. You have to do this at a pace that makes you both feel comfortable. If not, you’ll either come off as awkward or too aggressive.

[Read: How to get a girl to have sex with you – 10 steps to walk you through]

Now that you know how to get a girl to sleep with you, whatever you were doing before—scrap. Follow this. As a woman, I’m telling you’ll be better off.

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer best known for her writings on Kiiroo, LovePanky, Post Pravda, and more. She's the creator and ...
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