How to Flirt with a Girl: 54 Secrets & 41 Examples to Make a Woman Blush

Learning how to flirt with a girl really isn’t as hard as you might have built it up to be in your head. Be yourself and follow our advice for success! 

how to flirt with girls

You’ve got a massive crush on a hot girl, and you really want to let her know that you like her. But you don’t know where to start. Luckily, you can learn how to flirt with girls without having to go back to school!

Knowing how to flirt with a woman is all about balancing the possibility of your interest. However, while flirting might come naturally to some people, to others, it can feel nerve-racking.

If just the idea of trying to flirt with girls gets your palms all sweaty, you can relax. Say goodbye to dry mouth, stuttering, and stumbling over your words.

Once you learn how to flirt with girls, your confidence will shine through and you’ll be golden! [Read: 31 secrets to get a girl to like you and desire you without even asking her out]

Why flirting helps warm a girl up to you

Flirting is what establishes a connection between you and someone you’re interested in. It is like small talk but with a bit of a romantic undertone. Flirting has a level of attraction buried within, but can really be any sort of talking between two people.

What makes it so useful is that it helps you calm your nerves. It gives the girl the idea that you’re attracted to her, and an opportunity for her to let you know she’s warming up to you as well.

Learning how to flirt with girls helps you gain confidence when talking to anyone. It can show a girl how good you are at listening, how funny you are, if you’re a gentleman, and a lot more! [Read: How girls flirt – 22 signs she’s flirting way more than just being nice]

How to flirt with girls in the most subtle and successful way

You can learn about ways to flirt and practice until you feel super confident and ready to approach the girl you like. Here’s everything you need to know to flirt with a woman, and subtly seduce her with your words and behavior.

1. Read the room before you flirt

Potentially, if the signs are right, you can attempt flirting anywhere or any time. However, there are usually occasions when it really is better just to desist. An extreme example of this would be at a funeral.

Being a charmer rather than a creep has a lot to do with approaching a woman who wants to be approached in an environment and manner that is absolutely non-threatening. Get that wrong and the creep label is all yours for the taking. [Read: 10 kinds of guys girls label as creeps in no time]

2. Smile

When learning how to flirt with a woman, smiling at her is a great place to start, especially if you are feeling nervous. Make sure that you maintain eye contact when you catch her eye and don’t be the first to look away. Smile at her confidently.

If she smiles back, you can look away and then, in a few minutes, look at her and smile at her again. This will let her know you are interested. [Read: How to approach a girl you don’t know and impress her]

3. Use your body language

Make sure you pay attention to your body language when you are talking to her. It is so easy to look uninterested if you’re nervous about clamming up or saying the wrong thing.

Crossing your arms, looking at your feet, turning away from her, and so on are all no-nos.

Be open and use lots of eye contact – hold her gaze! Use your body to flirt with her and let her know you are interested. [Read: Body language of a girl – 37 signs to instantly tell if she’s interested in you]

4. Touch her

Another easy way to flirt with girls is to touch them. A brush of the hand, or if you are sitting next to one another, let your leg gently touch hers. If she likes you too, she won’t move it away.

But, remember, any touching more than this, especially in the first few conversations, will do the opposite. Touching her hair, her lower back, or anything else is inappropriate and can be sexual harassment.

You may just think you’re being touchy-feely, but touching without consent is never okay. [Read: How to subtly touch a girl, subtly turn her on and make her want more]

5. Make her laugh

Humor is the number one thing that most women cite when asked what they are looking for in a guy, so this is a must when learning how to flirt with girls.

If you can make her laugh, she’ll instantly feel more relaxed in front of you and attracted to you too. That’s one of the biggest tips when learning how to flirt with a woman. [Read: How to be a funny guy – 28 must-know tips to make all girls love your humor]

6. Let her borrow your clothes

She’ll love wearing that big cozy jumper of yours, so always offer it to her if it’s a little cold. Make sure it smells of your cologne too. A guy who smells good goes up a few points on the attractiveness scale.

Giving her something to remember you by is one of the best ways to learn how to flirt with a woman.

7. Compliment her

Compliments are always one of the best tips for learning how to flirt a woman, so make sure you let her know that you think she is attractive.

If you don’t want to be too forward, something simple such as ‘you look nice today or ‘I really like your shoes’ will let her know you find her attractive without saying anything too direct or sexual. [Read: How to compliment a girl – 15 must-know tips and 35 of the sweetest lines]

8. Be nice to her friends

Always, always make time for her friends. If she can see that you are making an effort with her friends, it will signal that you really like her and are willing to put the time in.

If she is on the fence about you, she’ll ask her friends for advice, so it’s an excellent idea to have them on your side at all times! When learning how to flirt with a woman, these small things make all the difference.

9. Ask her questions

If you really want to know how to flirt with girls, you need to show that you are interested in her by asking her lots of questions. Don’t interrogate her, but find a balance; you want to show you’re interested, but not a stalker.

She’ll appreciate you taking the time and making an effort to get to know her better. [Read: 20 funny questions to ask a girl and leave her ROFL]

10. Get to know her family

Getting to know about her family is another way of showing that you’re interested in her and are willing to put time and effort into finding out about her.

If you just met, ask about her siblings or what it was like growing up with an older brother or sister. If you know each other better than that, talk to her family when they’re around.

11. Do her a favor

Flirting comes in many different forms, and an act of kindness, e.g. a massive favor, shows that you are into her and are willing to do things to win her affection.

Grab her some extra napkins, walk her to her car, or offer her a ride. Things this small can make a big impact. [Read: What is chivalry? The knights code, the real meaning and modern men]

12. Buy her a drink

Sometimes simple is best. If you want to keep things casual and simply start a conversation with her, just ask her if she’d like a drink and take it from there.

This can be coffee too. Or, why not make it even more interesting and buy her a side of fries, so you can share.

13. Buy her a gift

A cute and thoughtful gift can be a great tip for how to flirt with a woman.

Keep it funny and silly or related to a conversation you’ve had to make it light and flirty – don’t buy her something too serious or expensive early on, as it might scare her off. [Read: How to show a girl you like her – 19 subtle moves to win her over]

14. Be interested in her interests

Get to know what she loves to do in her free time, her hobbies, interests, and what she’s passionate about. Then you’ll not only have lots to talk about, but you might get into some of her interests too.

15. Text her

Text conversations are a great way to flirt with girls. If you’re shy, this may be your go-to form of flirting. It can be so much easier than starting a conversation face to face.

Send her a flirty, funny text, and if she responds in kind, you can ramp up the flirting even more. [Read: 44 tips and examples to tease a girl over text and leave her smiling]

16. Tease her

Gently teasing a girl is a great way to start flirting with her. Everyone knows that little boys in the playground pull the pigtails of the little girls they have a crush on – so by mocking her gently, you are actually letting her know that you like her! Strange but true!

Just keep it simple. Tease her about the time it takes her to get ready or her weird taste in drinks. [Read: 22 naughty ways to tease a girl and make her think of you fondly]

17. Let her flirt

Sometimes the best way to flirt with a girl is to let her be in control. Follow her lead. Let her take things at her own pace.

If she is interested, she will make it clear. This can also take away some of your nerves.

18. Don’t use pick up lines

Pick-up lines are cheesy and don’t really help you form a connection. Now, if you use one as a joke it can be a great thing to bond over. Or if you share the worst line you’ve ever heard and then ask her what’s the worst she’s heard.

Just don’t rely on a pickup line to do much good for your flirting abilities. [Read: 30 foolproof pick-up lines and 10 you should never use]

19. Consider why you like her

Why are you interested in her? Focus on that. Don’t put her on a pedestal, she is just a person, like you. [Read: 22 ways to get your crush to like you and fall hard for you as well]

20. Find out if she is available

Flirting is all fine and well, but if you get your hopes up and then find out she isn’t available it can be quite a bummer.

While flirting subtly, find out if she is single. Saying something like “your boyfriend is one lucky guy” or even asking her about how her dating life is going is enough to let her know you’re interested. [Read: 22 signs to tell if a girl has a boyfriend without asking her directly]

21. Keep topics light

Try not to get into deep conversation topics right off the bat. Sure, it is great to connect over important topics, but flirting isn’t about serious talks.

It is about creating banter and feeding off each other. [Read: 75 flirty questions to ask your crush and make them think of you]

22. Be open

Be willing to answer questions. Flirting is about the back and forth. Learning how to flirt with girls is about being open and honest.

23. Discover what you have in common

Talk about movies, books, and TV. These things are universal and you will connect over something whether it is a series or an actor. This helps you find a neutral topic to discuss, banter about, or just get excited about. [Read: What does being compatible in a relationship really mean?]

24. Talk about your pets

Everyone loves their animals and honestly, anyone with a pet could talk about them all day. This is a safe place to go when flirting.

Are you more of a dog person but she has a cat? Let her convince you why cats are just as great.

25. Ask her out

Instead of depending on the subtly of your flirting skills to get her to ask you out, ask her out. Just go for it.

The worst that happens is you get a no. And then what? You move on to greener pastures. [Read: How to ask a girl to hang out casually without making it a big deal]

26. Back off if she isn’t into it

If you are flirting with a girl and she clearly isn’t into it, don’t convince her, beg her, or be weird about it. Whether she says she has a boyfriend or just is trying to avoid you, do not push.

She isn’t playing hard to get. The worst thing you can do when learning how to flirt with a girl is to push too hard.

27. Always be respectful

This is the right way not just to flirt with women but also to talk to them in any and all settings. When you are showing your interest in a woman, respect is her number one priority. 

Respect her as a person, not just as a woman. Give her respect if she turns her back to you, respect if she hesitates, or doesn’t smile right away. [Read: We’re so glad you want to know how to respect women]

28. Give her personal space

Having a strange man approach you is a bit unnerving. So take it easy. You may want to make it crystal clear what you’re interested in, but do not touch her without her consent.

You can stand near her or sit next to her, but unless it is insanely loud wherever you are do not whisper in her ear, lean in close to her, or put your arm around her. [Read: Male privilege – What it is and what it looks like in real life]

29. Look her in the eyes

Flirting, whether for casual purposes or with the intent of a date, requires a connection. Whether that connection is physical attraction, chemistry, or a shared sense of humor, eye contact is a must-have. 

Flirting does not work well when you can’t see one another’s facial expressions and reactions. 

30. Keep jokes at PG-13 level

If you know this girl quite well and know what they may take offense to you can go all out, but if you are flirting with someone you do not know, keep the risqué jokes to a minimum. And by minimum, we mean don’t tell any. [Read: 15 types of humor and how it affects relationships]

31. Be a gentleman

Take a tip or two from back in the day. Open the door, pull out her chair, offer to help her with her coat. These things may seem cheesy, but a woman will appreciate these small gestures.

You can make rude jokes and tease one another while still maintaining the characteristics of a true gentleman. That’s how to flirt with a woman the right way. [Read: The modern day gentleman’s guide to wooing a lady]

32. See her as an equal

When it comes to understanding how to flirt a woman, always see her as an equal. This should come with respect and is part of being a decent person, but many men, some without even knowing it, see women as less than.

Society tells us this all the time, so it is no surprise. 

Women know when you look down on them for any reason. It will instantly make her far less interested in you. [Read: Male privilege – What it is and what it looks like in real life]

33. Be truthful

Sure, we all boast a bit when flirting. You can brag that you graduated from a good college, but you would omit the fact that you were on academic probation. We get it, you want to put your best foot forward.

That is totally fine, as long as you tell the truth. And that also means don’t imply that you are a pilot if you say you work for an airline.

34. Be opinionated but open

If you are flirting with a woman and disagree with her, tell her. You do not need to get into an argument, but stay true to your opinions.

Be open to listening to her as she should be to you, but do not backpeddle your position in order to please. [Read: Learn what a woman thinks are the umanly and manliest things a guy can do are]

35. Be a little mysterious

But for women, it’s all about inference and imagination. She wants to figure you out for herself, without you telling her – from your behaviors, things you talk about, how worldly you seem.

Be a bit mysterious – she doesn’t want you to tell her every little thing about you. Show her who you are subliminally. [Read: How girls flirt – 15 signs she’s being way more than just nice]

36. Use a ‘x’ in a text

HER text: Hey what you up to? 

YOUR text: Eating a gorgeous chicken sandwich x

The lowercase ‘x’… It’s another phenomenon that cannot and should not ever be underestimated. Think of an x as empathy. From her end, it says that there is something special about your communication with her. You don’t just send anyone an x, even your favorite bro. [Read: How to text a girl you like and make her want you]

37. Show genuine interest in her

This one might sound like an obvious tip for how to flirt with a girl, and it should be. You think you’re acting cool, but If you constantly act as if you’re disinterested in a girl, she’ll simply take your disinterest at face value. [Read: How to make a girl like you without even asking her out]

38. Mix your questions up with statements

Too many questions can be annoying. No one wants to be interviewed for 5 hours. So, mix up your questions with statements, such as “I think you’re a bit of a badass chick,” or “you’re a dog lover, I can tell.”

Also, remember to change your statements to things about you, your opinions, and your surroundings. [Read: How to compliment a girl – 15 must-know tips and 35 of the best lines]

39. Make her feel special

All girls like feeling special. Many woman have low self-esteem, so when a guy makes her feel like she is amazing, then she will definitely feel good not only about herself but about you too.

So, you can say things to her like “I think you’re amazing” or “I have never met a girl like you in my life!” or “I’m so happy we met – you make my life so much better!” Saying these things will subtly let her know that you have a lot of interest in her.

40. Stay connected over text and social media

In this day and age, it seems that almost everyone is on social media. So, that’s why it’s important to stay connected to her that way.

Keep up regular communication with her. Now, that doesn’t mean that you have to text her 24/7 *because that would just annoy her*, but check in with her often. This tells her that she is on your mind a lot. [Read: 33 Secret steps to text a girl you like and make her miss and desire you]

41. Remember little details about her

When you talk to her, pay special attention to what she tells you about herself and her life. Try to remember everything you can. Little things like her favorite coffee drink to how her brother used to tease her about her clothes are important to her. She will be impressed when you remember.

42. Share memes

Everyone likes memes, right? They can be really funny, or they can be really deep, meaningful, and insightful. Either way, it’s an easy way to keep in touch with a girl and flirt with her subtly. [Read: How not to be dry when texting a girl – 20 ways to keep her hooked]

43. Don’t make assumptions

Get this straight: on the whole, women dress for themselves, NOT for men. Wearing a short skirt or red lipstick is a fashion choice and no more than that. Assuming that a woman is up for a bit of hanky-panky on the basis of her dress sense alone puts you firmly in creepy territory – if not beyond.

44. Be natural, don’t be someone you’re not

Rehearsed moves, an adopted swagger, cheesy one-liners, etc., are all things that should be consigned solely to the 1970s. We live in a different world nowadays.

Be yourself, react naturally and honestly, and resist the urge to be anything that you are not. Adopted personas are obvious, juvenile and downright creepy. [Read: How to be yourself – 26 steps to unfake your life and love being you]

45. Listen to her

Your ears are the best weapons you have in your flirting armory after your ability to interpret body language. When learning how to flirt with a woman, listen carefully to what she has to say, not just the content, but the manner in which she delivers it. [Read: 25 qualities in a guy that makes him attractive to a girl]

The wrong way to flirt a girl

Of course, learning how to flirt with girls is as much about knowing what not to do, as what you should do.

1. Don’t be cocky

For someone hesitant to flirt with women, it may seem like being cocky is the answer to your worries. But, women mostly despise the type of man that walks in as if he owns the place.

Yes, confidence is sexy, but acting as if you are better than her, the bartender, or the janitor is not. [Read: Confident or cocky? 16 subtle signs that split an arrogant and modest man]

2. Don’t become offended if she turns you down

If she rejects you off the bat, move on. If you think she got the wrong idea and want to give it one more go, okay. But if she flat out is not interested, do not take offense.

And if you respect her, any other woman you may flirt with throughout the night will appreciate that.

3. Don’t get too close

We’ve mentioned this already but it’s worth reiterating. While flirting, a subtle arm rub is one thing, but women do not want to be touched like that by a stranger, sometimes not even by people they know.

Keep a friendly distance. If you wouldn’t do it in the office, don’t do it anywhere else. [Read: How to know when to give someone space]

4. Sexist remarks are a huge no-no

Men often think that making a joke about the #MeToo movement or the wage-gap makes them funny and relevant. But, all making jokes about these things does is make you look like a sexist prick.

Even if she laughs, it is to hide her discomfort. [Read: Inspiring male feminist ideas from around the world]

5. Never assume she wants your attention

This may be a shock to you, but women do not go to bars, parties, or anywhere with the sole intent of meeting a man. And even if they did, they still have the right to decline your advances.

6. Don’t be intense

Intensity is a single man’s worst enemy when it comes to understanding how to flirt with a woman. No one wants to hear about your third cousin’s foot surgery while flirting. Keep it light.

7. Don’t move too fast

Same as being too intense, rushing to ask her out can be intimidating and weird. You want to form some sort of connection first, even if that is your shared interest in archery or comic books. [Read: Rushing into a relationship? Why you need to learn to slow down]

8. Quit belittling yourself

Self-deprecating humor has its time, sure. But talking down about yourself is not something women are attracted to. Women do not want to be propping up your ego or telling you that you are worthy.

9. You’re not superior

People play a part or joke around when flirting, but often that is short lived. You share a few lines, laugh, and then introduce yourselves. 

Do not let the humor seep into the more real conversation. Acting like you are better than this person for any reason is the wrong way to flirt or talk to anyone. [Read: These are the steps to take to be a girl’s Prince Charming]

How to flirt with girls in a sexual way 

Now that you know in general how to flirt with a girl and she’s flirting back, let’s talk about some more sexual ways to do this. After all, flirting starts slow and builds up until both of you find each other irresistible!

So if you want to build the sexual tension with a girl, a few perfectly timed lines are just the trick you need to make her blush, and think of you in a naughty way! [Read: 20 sexy ways to build sexual tension with a girl and make her thirst for you]

1. Even though I can’t see you right now, I know you’re looking hot.

2. I would walk a hundred miles just to touch you right now.

3. You look so sexy in that photo I needed some time away just to be able to think again! [Read: 36 racy, random, funny questions for flirty guys and girls]

4. You’re in my thoughts at 2:00 a.m.

5. Don’t work too hard because I want you to have some energy for me later!

6. I was just listening to this really sexy song, and for some reason, it reminded me of you…

7. Do you want to come over? There is some extra room in my bed to watch a movie.

8. I can still smell your scent on me, and I don’t ever want to shower again. [Read: 53 flirty things to say to a girl to compliment her and make her blush]

9. Send me your picture so I can send it to Santa for my wish list.

10. I really want to kiss you right now.

11. The next time you see your parents, thank them from me for bringing you into this world.

12. I can’t stop thinking about you!

13. I just bought some hot fudge… any idea what we should do with it? 

14. Whenever I close my eyes, I see you. [Read: 39 flirty signs to tell if a girl is into you and interested in dating you]

15. I have to admit, you’re on my mind way too much.

16. You said you wanted kids someday, right? Well, do you want to practice soon? 

17. You looked so hot the last time I saw you.

18. Every time you enter a room, you’re the hottest woman there.

19. I’m lying in bed and I’m bored. Want to play Simon Says? 

20. Hey, you look a lot like my next girlfriend! [Read: 25 subtle, flirty signs she wants you to make a move and ask her out]

21. I wish I was your teddy bear.

22. I just got out of the shower. How about coming over and helping me get sweaty again? 

23. Are you free for the rest of your life? 

24. I can’t get up the courage to tell you how much I want you, so I guess I’ll keep it to myself.

25. You are soooo addictive! [Read: How to tease a girl over text and 15 ways to get her to flirt back]

26. You’re a goddess and every guy prays for a girl like you.

27. My dream is to wake up next to you every morning.

28. You’re so hot that you’re driving me crazy.

29. You are haunting me – you’re always in my thoughts.

30. Do you want to know a secret? [Read: Is she flirting with me or not? 17 quickest signs to read her mind]

31. Taking care of my heart has been difficult these days because I’m so busy. Can you do it for me? 

32. I’ve got some flowers for you.

33. I can’t stop checking my phone to see if you called.

34. You look like my next adventure.

35. You inspire my naughty thoughts.

36. Can you share your secrets for being so hot? [Read: 15 flirting signs to instantly know if someone is flirting with you]

37. How do you manage to be so hot? 

38. I like you a lot. More than a lot.

39. You’re on top of my to-do list.

40. You need some testosterone in your body. Can I help you out? 

41. Stop being so hot. You’re driving me crazy! [Read: How to get a girl to have sex with you by arousing her very subtly]

Remember, flirting should be subtle, but leave no room for doubt

When learning how to flirt with a woman, you need to master the art of subtleness and obviousness merging together. Now, that sounds like a total contradiction but that’s exactly what flirting is.

Eye contact, smiling, small consensual touches, flirty remarks, these are all ways to build up that connection and hopefully move toward something a little deeper.

[Read: What is flirting? The science behind this common act]

Now that you know how to flirt with girls, what are you waiting for? Get out there, and get flirting! Good luck!

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Nicky Curtis
Nicky Curtis
Having stumbled from one relationship drama to another throughout her 20s, Nicky is now somewhat of a guru in the crazy world of life and love. Telling it how i...
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