How to Approach Women: 15 Tips You Absolutely Need to Know

Approaching women without embarrassing yourself can be difficult for some men. But it doesn’t have to be terrifying. Here is how to approach women.

how to approach women

And as the saying goes, the more attractive she is, the poorer your social skills become. Learning how to approach women can seem problematic but it’s something you need to master at some point in time, because you can’t go about life trying to avoid women all the time. Sooner or later, you’ll need to muster up your courage and face a girl; especially if that girl could be the potential woman of your dreams.

That said, learning how to approach women should be on the top of the list. Because before you could even talk to her, or ask for her name or number, you must succeed in getting within a foot near her without breaking into fits. Therefore, we will give you some tips to break that awkward barrier.

Why is it difficult for you to approach the ladies?

Normally, most people would say that they are shy. There are other reasons too. For example, some people may have low self-confidence or are apprehensive at the thought of being rejected or becoming embarrassed.

Others may have “Approach Anxiety,” which makes them generally apprehensive with initiating social contact with an unfamiliar person. But whatever reason you may have, the first step is changing your mindset, which will make the approach easier. [Read: Approach anxiety – 16 effortless ways to conquer it in a few days]

How to approach women – What you really need to know

Don’t worry, I’m sure that even Brad Pitt didn’t know how to approach women at some point in his life. So it’s natural. And it’s something that can be learned. So here are some great tips for how to approach women.

#1 Remember, you’ll just talk to her – not ask to marry her or something. Overthinking your current situation can be quite normal when approaching women, especially if the said girl is attractive or is special *such as a crush*. It is that moment when lots of questions flood inside your head about imagined outcomes that will only make you feel anxious.

But forget all that. First, you’re not doing anything illegal *hopefully*. Second, even if you say or do something really awkward, the world won’t end, and she’ll probably forget it anyway. With these out of the way, you’ll be good to go. [Read: How to approach girls and impress them – A step by step guide]

#2 Make yourself presentable. This is the part where you eliminate the “extraneous variables” that may or may not affect the outcome of your approach. Wear appropriate clothes, pay attention to hygiene, and top that with a little personal flourish that advertises that you’re an interesting person.

Even if you’re the most awkward person ever, getting self-presentation points would at least get some worries off your head and make the rest easier.

#3 Smile. Simply approaching her with a smile is a very simple yet effective way to break down any barriers between you and the girl you want to talk to. Smiling lightens the mood and makes interaction easier. [Read: How to be the hot guy – 20 rules to instant hotness!]

#4 Act naturally and avoid being pretentious. Most guys have the tendency to put up an act to make themselves look cooler and more acceptable in the eyes of girls. This comes in the form of talking too much slang, and it comes out ways too strong – more than their swagger can handle.

There are times that this would work. but when it fails, the embarrassment is far worse than managing a stutter or two. Therefore, it is best to talk and move the way you naturally do. Girls would really appreciate it.

#5 Be courteous and respectful. Possessing an attractive physique and material wealth, but lacking in the most basic courtesy, will get you nowhere near a girl’s good graces.

If you want to know how to approach women, be a gentleman and always treat them with the proper respect and courtesy. Mind the language you use and what your eyes are looking at. [Read: 13 rules of etiquette for the modern gentleman]

#6 Don’t hesitate. Standing a distance from her and then turning back out of hesitation can be creepy. So if you decide to do the approach that very moment, make sure that you follow through to the end. Hesitation will only result in embarrassment or a misunderstanding if you’re seen doing that.

#7 Pay attention to details about her. Taking note of small details will give you a clue about what kind of approach will work on her. It may sound a little bit like stalking, so you must do this subtly.

If you’re seeing the girl often, take note of the places she visits, her favorite coffee shop, lunch place, or even tiny bits of conversation you might overhear. Use this information to your advantage when making your move. [Read: How to get a girl to notice you even before you talk to her]

#8 Approach her while she’s with friends and address them as a group. Using a question addressed to everybody as an excuse, you may use moments like these to catch her attention in order to prepare her for the one-on-one approach.

In addition, approaching her with a group is less intimidating than doing it immediately alone. Furthermore, she’ll appreciate the fact that you’re cool enough to get along with her friends. [Read: How to talk to many girls at once, and leave them all swooning]

#9 Ask her a question. The easiest excuse to talk to a girl is to ask her a question. If she’s a co-worker, you could ask for her help on some work-related issue. Same if she’s a classmate. Asking a question or soliciting help is appealing to a woman, because it shows that you see her as someone with sound advice – or someone dependable and not only appreciated because of her physical appearance.

#10 Offer help. If ever you come across her carrying a bunch of stuff, or in need of some form of assistance, you could offer help and then talk casually with her after the ordeal is done. She won’t mind for sure, after Prince Charming comes to her rescue. [Read: How to charm a girl and flatter her into liking you]

What not to do when approaching women

Okay, so now you know some tips for how to approach women, but you still need to know what NOT to do. These are just as important, so take notes.

#1 Come on too strong. Coming on too strong would result in a lot of things, all of them unfavorable for you. First, she will be threatened or weirded out, and you will put her off if you speak in a manner too creepy. Doing this will make her flee and seek the sanctuary with her girlfriends.

#2 Offer to buy her a drink. We’ve seen this too many times, and for sure, women won’t hang out in a bar if she can’t buy her own drinks. This method screams shallow, over-sexed player guy.

#3 Use pickup lines. Unless you’re really creative and very witty, abandon the pickup lines. These only work on a very few women and is bound to fail eighty percent of the time. [Read: Sugar, sugar – How to sweet talk a girl and make her melt]

#4 Catcall her. We’re sure about two things: one is that this is no way to get a woman’s attention, and there are guys who seem to really think this is a normal way to talk to a girl. It’s not.

#5 Interrupt her when she’s speaking. When the conversation is rolling, you may get excited and carried away and end up dominating the conversation. In order to maintain a healthy conversation flow, she should be doing much of the talking. Like 60% – 40%.

[Read: How to make a girl laugh, smile and like you instantly]

Learning how to approach women can sometimes be difficult, but with a little change in perspective and some practice, you can be comfortable doing this very often and naturally too.

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Paul Timothy Mangay
Paul aka Morty is a keyboard-pounding cubicle-dweller based in Manila where he occasionally moonlights as a writer for anyone in need of his mediocre word-strin...
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