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How to Get Over Your First Love with a Happy Memory

Your first love is the one relationship you’ll never forget. But it’s not always the love that lasts, so you need to know how to get over your first love.

get over your first love

It’s so important to learn how to get over your first love. Why? Your first love is something you’ll remember for a lifetime. And many do say that your first love never dies, but honestly, this saying isn’t really true.

Rather, first love is the one that will break your heart. If you’re unlucky, it’s the one experience that will teach you that love isn’t always perfect. Sometimes, it’s full of pain and an all-consuming feeling.

If you’re that unlucky, your first love makes you want to avoid love altogether. Your first love may have started like a fairytale, but before you knew it, one bad thing may have led to another, and then another.

Until both of you have no choice but to part ways. Most likely, your experience with first love has ended badly if you’re reading this.

[Read: The reason behind why love hurts so much when it goes bad]

Why does first love end?

As much as we’d like to think first love lasts forever, it doesn’t always happen that way. First love ends so we can learn from it and apply it to all our future relationships. You might’ve given your all and it hurt like a bitch when it ended, but that’s the reality of life.

There’s no changing the facts – your relationship is over and you need to learn how to get over your first love. No matter who broke up with who, maybe it ended so you can grow from the pain, or maybe the love wasn’t enough to make the relationship work.

First love is basically your first experience of what falling in love is and the sad truth is, you always expect the best outcome. We never see it coming when the relationship ends in a fraction of a moment and when we’re forced to face a reality without them.

Nobody tells you that you have to learn how to get over your first love because it most likely never works out. [Read: How your first love affects all your future relationships]

How to get over your first love

There’s no concrete way on how to get over your first love. This kind of pain is so excruciating that it feels difficult to bear. However, you just take it day by day until one day, you don’t miss them as much anymore.

If you’ve just broken up with your first love, you know just how terrible it can feel. It’s like your heart is shattered into a million pieces, and you don’t care about anything but getting rid of the pain.

I know every fiber of your fiber wants to get them back and do everything just to make them choose you again. Sadly, this isn’t the reality and you need to face this unbearable loss. The good news about this is that you’re not alone.

Even if your heartbreak convinces you that you are, trust me, you’re not. We’ve all been there, and as painful as it may feel today, it will all pass and you’ll feel a lot better and happier sooner than you think.

Just take it gradually and no matter what, don’t be so desperate in numbing your feelings. You need to feel them if you want to move on.

[Read: 13 things you MUST know just as you enter a relationship with someone]

The 10 steps that WILL help you get over your first love

As painful as the scar of first love may seem, it will heal. Remember these steps, and you will have everything you need to know on how to get over your first love.

1. Don’t try to forget it

First experiences are always special and memorable so don’t hate them or forcing yourself to forget them. Even if it’s tempting to forget even the good moments, appreciate everything while it lasted.

You’re never going to get another experience like this one, and forgetting it completely isn’t a good idea. As the saying goes, it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

The pain may be fresh in your heart today but soon, you’ll forget all about it as long as you let the wound heal naturally. Also, you tend to move on harder when you try your hardest to forget them. [Read: First broken hearts club – How to move on when you experience heartbreak for the first time ever]

2. Realize it’s not the end of the world

Heartbreak does this thing where it convinces you that it’s the end of the world, even when it’s not. As cliche as this sounds, the sun will rise again and so will you. Yes, it hurts. But guess what, you’re still alive and kicking.

If you can make up your mind to stand up and face the world, you’ll find it easier to cope with the pain. At the end of the day, there’s more to life than just falling in love.

3. Get help from your friends

The number one rule is to never dwell in isolation when moving on from your first love. If you want to know how to get over your first love, then surround yourself with friends and loved ones.

They’re the people who will remind you that you have still have so much love in your life, even if things didn’t work out with one specific person. Most importantly, they’re the people who will listen to you cry and talk about your first love for hours relentlessly.

Spend time with them or speak to a trusted friend about how you feel. Sometimes, even talking about it can help you feel better. In this sense, you shouldn’t also use your heartbreak as an excuse for being a bad friend.

Be nice to your friends even when you’re going through something – they deserve at least that. [Read: How a friend can help you through a breakup with minimal drama]

4. Keep yourself occupied

Honestly, the best way on how to get over your first love is to keep yourself occupied. Distract yourself from your first love by doing things you really enjoy. Your first heartbreak can feel like a critical illness.

What works for most people is keeping yourself so busy that you don’t have the time to miss them or even think about them. The next time you start to feel the pain, take that as an opportunity to go for a run, take a trip outside, or even try a new hobby.

As long as you’re distracted, then you’re good *as long as they’re healthy distractions.* You’ll feel like you can never get back on your feet again. It’ll feel bad, but you’ll feel better sooner than you think.

5. Don’t try to get back to your partner

Your first love doesn’t always have to be the true love of your life. You need to realize that it ended for a reason. By chasing them or begging for their love, you’re just proving even further why the relationship can’t work.

If you want to know how to get over your first love, don’t come crawling back to them the second that you miss them. It might hurt, but the pain of enduring and forcing that relationship will hurt even more – I assure you that. [Read: 20 signs your ex wants you back and can’t stop thinking of you]

6. Look at it as a learning lesson

At the end of the day, you have two choices – dwell on your heartbreak or use it to grow for your next relationships.

Every relationship that fails is an opportunity to become better so when you do meet the right person, you’ll be ready. Look at your breakup as a learning lesson and feel good about the experience instead of hating it.

7. Pick flaws

We tend to focus more on the good rather than the bad moments, making us believe that the relationship was absolutely perfect. However, if you want to learn how to get over your first love, you need to open your eyes to both their strengths and weaknesses.

Now that the relationship is over, spend a few days immediately after breaking up recollecting where things went wrong in your first relationship. It also helps you understand your own flaws and what you really need in a partner that they weren’t able to provide.

Learn from the experience, appreciate it, and then move forward. [Read: 30 relationship rules and advice to have your best ever love life]

8. Avoid your ex

I know you can’t even think of this, but right now you’re in a state of addiction. All you can see, think, and feel is them even when they’re no longer around anymore. You reminisce the memories you once shared and everything around you reminds you of them.

You think you need your ex, but yet, you know that even looking at your ex-lover will only make you feel worse. It’s a vicious cycle. There’s absolutely nothing you can gain in seeing or being close to your ex.

If you think you can even be friends with them, you’re setting yourself up to fail – again. Stop coming up with every excuse to contact them or see them and stop stalking their socials. Just stop, okay? You’re stronger than you think you are. [Read: How to stop thinking about someone you still like]

9. Understand what love is

Now that you’ve been in a relationship for the first time, you now know what love is. With this experience, you know what love should be and what it’s not.

Until you actually fall in love with someone, you’d never really know what all the fuss is about. You realize that maybe love doesn’t always conquer all and maybe the universe lets you meet people just so you can learn something significant from them – not necessarily because they’ll stay forever. [Read: How to love again after being hurt]

10. You’ll get over it

Time heals everything. You may feel like the world’s collapsing on you right now, but trust me, it will all pass. Everyone feels like their first love is a pain they will never recover from, but they end up moving on anyway.

In learning how to get over your first love, you’ll eventually discover your own strength and resilience in something as unbearable as heartbreak. You’ll get over your first love. But you won’t forget that person. And you don’t have to.

[Read: The 10 types of love you’ll experience in your lifetime]

So, how to get over your first love?

Your first love is the person who introduces you to the face of love, but they’re also the one behind a lot of unexpected pain and heartbreak. Life isn’t like the movies and we don’t always end up with our first love – and that’s okay.

[Read: 14 things you must keep in mind if your ever bump into your first ex]

When learning how to get over your first love, these tips are the key to moving on. You don’t need to do something as drastic as forgetting them completely, but you can better manage your heartbreak. Before you know it, you won’t miss them as much anymore.

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Alison Ricard
Alison Ricard loves sunshine, good books and contagious laughter. And when she isn’t writing, you’ll find her sitting in a café, people watching and commun...
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