A broken heart is an awful feeling you can’t explain. Learning how to forget an ex is easier said than done, as it’s not easy to move on without them.
We’ve all experienced breakups and even if you haven’t, you must already know just how painful it can feel. A broken heart feels like an end of an era. You struggle with even getting out of bed in the morning. So really, learning how to forget an ex is the best thing you can do for yourself. Will it be easy? No, not a chance.
But this is why you need to be patient with yourself as you’re taking it day by day to forget your ex. When dealing with matters of the heart, you have to be extra kind and gentle with yourself.
Don’t be hard on yourself because everything feels terrible when you miss your ex deeply. The point is forgetting an ex isn’t as easy as people think it is. [Read: How to move on and deal with a break up with a smile]
How to forget an ex you still love?
Learning how to forget an ex you still love will take a lot of time and effort. It won’t happen overnight, which is why you need to give yourself a lot of time. You and your ex have been through a lot and forgetting them isn’t something that will magically happen.
You need to do your part in forgetting them, such as not dwelling on the breakup, not stalking them on social media, or even something as simple as getting out of bed. We know you think your relationship was perfect and if it were up to you, you never want a breakup to happen.
But life is unpredictable, and part of that uncertainty is a breakup. Realize that there’s a particular reason why you broke up and until you open your eyes to that reason, you’ll never forget them or your feelings for them.
Just take it day by day and eventually, you won’t miss them as much anymore. You might not entirely forget their existence, but the thought of them wouldn’t consume you as much anymore. [Read: How to move on from a break up without compromising your dignity]
Where do people go wrong when trying to forget an ex?
When trying to forget an ex, the path people often take is they want to take the fast route. It’s why most people suffering a broken road take the destructive course. They binge drink night after night just to forget their ex, and that’s already the wrong way to get over them.
Look, we get how painful a broken heart feels, but you should never try to rush the process. Instead, you should take it slowly. Let yourself sit with even your most difficult emotions, even if that’s the last thing you want to do.
None of us want to sit with our loss, grief, brokenness and sadness, but it’s all part of the process. If you don’t and keep numbing yourself with all the wrong things, you’ll never heal from your breakup and most importantly, you’ll never learn how to forget an ex. [Read: 10 relationship hang-ups and how to deal with them]
How to forget an ex – The little steps you need to take
If you were emotionally bonded with someone, you’re breaking that bond. You’re no longer a couple; you’re transitioning to strangers. It’s a weird transition to make, and that’s why it’s so hard to do. [Read: The 9 step guide you need for how to get over a heartbreak]
Most of the time, it happens on a whim, and you’re left feeling displaced and shocked. But that doesn’t mean you won’t be able to move on.
Yes, it’s a shock, and it’ll be hard, but it’s entirely doable. In other words, your life isn’t over, and you will find love again. It’s time you moved on and learned how to get over an ex.
1. Stop stalking
We know you want to see their social media and make sure they haven’t moved on yet. But, you need to stop stalking them. Delete them from all social media and whatever apps you have them on. How can you move on if they’re constantly in your face? Stop stalking.
Social media is the biggest culprit when it comes to forgetting an ex. So block them, delete them, or even just mute them if the idea of blocking them repulses you.
Just stop lingering over their profile and updating yourself what they’ve been doing lately. Really, how is this helping you move on? [Read: The 10 quick pick-me-ups for the recently broken hearted]
2. Focus on yourself
Um, hello. You’re single now, which means you have all the time in the world to focus on yourself. Tis the season for self-care, and now, it’s time you practiced it. Find a new activity, spend time with your friends and family, or go for hikes. Focus on doing things you enjoy and make yourself happy.
Instead of dwelling on your heartbreak and how awful it feels, focus on your newfound independence and freedom. This is your chance to do everything you’ve ever wanted without someone influencing your actions, so make the most out of it! [Read: How to focus on yourself: 27 ways to create your own sunshine]
3. Get yourself busy
If you’re laying on the couch all day, your mind will be focused on them. You’ll be sitting there, thinking about how they laugh or why they dumped you. It’s not a good move. Instead, get yourself busy. Whether it’s work, school, or volunteering, fill your day up with activities. The less you think about them, the better.
Staying busy and being productive is the healthiest and most effective way to learn how to forget an ex. When you bury yourself with a particular deadline, work task, hobby, or anything you enjoy, thoughts of your ex will eventually go away. [Read: Letting go of your ex: 15 ways to make it easier]
4. Reflect on the breakup
There are two people in every relationship, meaning you have a responsibility in the relationship as well. It’s time for you to reflect on the relationship and see what went wrong. What were the things you did in the relationship? What should you work on for yourself? Remember what we said about a breakup happening for a reason.
People don’t like admitting this, but it really does take two to break up. So if there was something you did or maybe didn’t do that contributed to the falling apart of the relationship, reflect on that and learn from it. [Read: A helpful reflection: What am I doing with my life?]
5. Think about the things you didn’t like
Every relationship has its ups and downs. There are things you liked about your partner and the relationship and things you didn’t. During a breakup, we tend to only look at the good times. But this is when you should focus on the attributes you didn’t like.
You’ll be more aware of what you don’t want in a partnership for your next relationship. For instance, maybe your ex was an extreme workaholic so maybe next time, you’d be more cautious of choosing someone who has their priorities straight.
Reflection is an essential part of learning how to forget an ex, so be honest and real with yourself about the things you didn’t like.
6. Hang out with your friends and family
Spend time with your support group, as they’re the ones who will stand by you through the ups and downs. Listen to their advice and accept their love and support. And if you want to pull through, you’ll need those people around you. As easy as it is to isolate yourself from those you love, you must refrain from doing so.
Being around your loved ones will make you realize that even if your ex is no longer in your life, so much love still surrounds you. [Read: How to single after a long relationship – 16 steps to start over]
7. Don’t force them out of your mind
When it comes to knowing how to forget an ex, it’s not going to work if you try too hard not to think about them. It’ll do the opposite. Let yourself grieve; this isn’t a race. Grieving isn’t something you can control or force. If they’re on your mind, process these thoughts and feelings. With time, they’ll disappear on their own.
As mentioned above, this is the one mistake you should avoid making when learning how to forget an ex. Forcing them out of your mind will lead you to a destructive route, and that won’t benefit you in any way to forget your ex. Because really, you’re just suppressing your emotions rather than dealing with them.
8. If you’re still sleeping together, stop
Yeah, we know you think you can continue sleeping with them without having feelings, but that’s a fairytale. You’ll never be able to move on if you’re still intimate with your ex. The sex may be good, but you know what’s better? Moving on. Sleeping with your ex is one of the worst mistakes you can make.
Do you actually think you’ll get back together when you keep sleeping with them? Not a chance. You’re already giving your ex the benefits of a relationship without the commitment, why would they get back together with you?
Also, it’s detrimental for your sanity and especially your moving on process. [Read: What you need to hear if you’re sleeping with an ex]
9. Grieve
Breaking up with someone is a grieving process. You no longer have your ex in your life, and it’s a transition. Give yourself the time to be emotional. Cry, scream, yell, get all your emotions out, and go through the process. If you want to learn how to forget an ex, give yourself time to grieve and mourn over the loss.
Grieve the fact they’re no longer in your life and also grieve the person you used to be when you were with them. After all, we tend to lose parts of ourselves in every relationship we’re in. [Read: 5 stages of grief in divorce and everything else in between]
10. Write your feelings down
Your friends and family will eventually get tired of talking about the breakup. This isn’t a bad thing. Really, there’s only so much other people can hear about it. So, write your feelings down, and get out everything that’s floating around in your mind. Just get it out.
Whether on a journal or a piece of paper, write every ounce of your feelings down. Trust us, this can be really therapeutic, even when dealing with a breakup. [Read: How to express your feelings & get your point across the right way]
11. Don’t be friends with them
Yeah, I know you think you could be friends with them, but let’s get real here. It’s not going to happen, at least not right now. You can’t grieve and move on if you’re still hanging out with your ex-partner. So take a solid break from them, and when you feel you’ve moved on, then bring them back into your life.
You will instantly regret it the minute you stay friends with your ex. You’re preventing and prolonging your moving on process, and you’re giving yourself false hope in being with them again. Never stay friends with an ex, not unless you’ve fully healed from your relationship. [Read: How to make up your mind when your ex wants to stay friends]
12. Volunteer and give back
We underestimate the value of giving back. When we’re stuck in our heads, it’s hard to see the good things you have in your life. But volunteering will keep you busy and will direct your time and energy towards giving back.
Volunteering switches the focus from your ex to others, and this switch of focus distracts thoughts of your ex. Also, it prevents you from holding onto feelings of bitterness and resentment for your ex because of something as selfless and pure as volunteering.
13. Plan a trip
Sometimes, you just need to get out of your environment to help you put things into perspective. And you don’t even need to travel the world. A weekend trip to the next town over can do wonders. Plus, a change of scenery can help you reflect and inspire you for the future.
We know you think – how can traveling help you learn how to forget an ex? But you’ll be surprised how changing your environment can do you a lot of good with your heartbreak. It doesn’t matter where you go, as long as you go somewhere else. [Read: Top 50 really fun things to do on a road trip to have a great time]
14. Give yourself time to move on
When there’s a breakup, you want to move on as soon as possible. This is why we rebound and act like everything is okay. But in reality, you’re grieving. It’s going to take months for you to move on, and that’s okay. Give yourself time to move on. Don’t rush the process of moving on.
We know you want to stop feeling the pain and devastation right away, but you won’t achieve that by rushing everything. It doesn’t take overnight to forget your ex. So just take it one step at a time, and you’ll eventually get there. [Read: These are the best books to read after you break up to begin your healing]
15. Don’t go into the self-sabotaging road
If there’s one thing that’s so easy to do during a breakup, it’s sabotaging yourself just to forget the pain. But however easy that might be to do, you must refrain from doing so.
You won’t learn how to forget an ex by destroying yourself through destructive habits – it works the opposite, actually. So if you want to really move on, you won’t achieve that by drinking or partying your sorrows away. [Read: Want to fall in love? Change these 8 self-sabotaging habits]
16. Don’t date before you’re ready
Another tendency we tend to have in breakups is going for rebounds, flings, or really just burying ourselves in the next person we see. Again, while this works enough as a powerful distraction, it’s not a healthy way to get over your ex.
You should only date around when you’re ready to do so and not when the breakup is still fresh. All you’ll do is rant about your ex to your date, and this is because you’re still hurting and grieving. [Read: 19 clear signs you are ready for a serious relationship]
17. Focus on improving yourself
Self-improvement truly is a powerful thing when learning how to forget an ex. Whether it’s working on your career, hitting the gym, going on job interviews, or something else entirely, improving yourself is a healthy distraction for your breakup.
Eventually, you’ll be so invested in improving yourself that you’ll no longer have the time to miss your ex or want them back. It sounds cliche, but success and happiness are the best revenge. [Read: How to better a relationship and improve your love life]
18. Accept that everything happens for a reason
It might not make sense right now, but everything really does happen for a reason. The breakup ended for a particular reason and even things didn’t pan out in your favor, it can be helpful to realize what those reasons are.
Were you incompatible? Maybe you had different values? Or they always had a red flag you ignored because you loved them so much? Reflect on your relationship and try to see why your relationship had to end. [Read: Achieving self-acceptance: 10 little steps for one big change]
19. Be appreciative of the memories
This is quite an unusual one when learning how to forget an ex for good. But being grateful and appreciative of the memories can help you forget them and let them go.
It will help you see the relationship on a good note, even until the very end. Just because you didn’t work out, it doesn’t mean you can’t appreciate all the good memories they gave you.
[Read: How to show your appreciation to someone and express your gratitude]
So, how to forget an ex for good?
Forgetting your ex is a matter of patience, kindness, gentleness, and consistency with yourself. Avoid harmful habits that will distract you from missing them because you’re just suppressing the emotions that you really need to sit with and face. It’s easier said than done, but one day, you won’t miss them anymore.
Understanding how to forget an ex isn’t something that can be done overnight. But you have to believe that there really is a light at the end of the tunnel.
