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13 Fun Ideas to Build & Grow Intimacy in a Relationship & Feel More Loved

Here are some romantic as well as downright disgustingly intimate things that every couple needs to partake in at least once in their relationship.

build intimacy

No one has a perfect relationship. Remember all those sappy books you read, chick flicks you watched, and annoying Instagram pictures you forced yourself to like? Well, none of them are real.

Couples the world over have been fooled into thinking that what makes a relationship work is being able to chalk up as many lovely moments as they can and completely going ape-shit on the less-than-perfect ones. But with all the filtering and posting of only the good stuff, you can be sure that your perception of how couples really are is just the idyllic side of their relationship. [Read: 16 little habits that might actually ruin your relationship]

Being in and out of relationships for close to two decades has taught me that committing to someone takes plenty of work. From flings to serious commitments, there is one thing that they all have in common: they were not always pretty.

Please don’t brush me off as a cynical witch who doesn’t believe in romance. On the contrary, I am pleased to say that I am someone who understands that it is the core strength of the relationship that matters the most, and not just the image of perfection people try so hard to project.

Loving your partner and being loved back despite the ugliness is by far the most romantic aspect of being with someone. At the end of the day, it’s all about feeling good and being comfortable with each other without having to change who you are at heart.

13 of the most intimate activities couples should try

The same way unicorns don’t exist, neither do perfect relationships. In the end, it all comes down to co-existing and building a life together with another human being. Hence, here is a compilation of romantic and honest-to-god intimate things that every couple needs to indulge in to receive the stamp of approval from reality.

#1 Love notes. Let’s start this list with something romantic. Leaving each other love notes is undoubtedly one of simplest ways that you can build intimacy with your partner. When you write something down, you are basically sealing your message’s fate as one that is real and meaningful.

You can leave little Post Its in your partner’s suitcase every time they leave for a trip. You will be surprised at how much that little gesture will mean to them. Not only that, it will remind your partner that they have someone waiting for them at home. You can also drop your partner a sweet email or text message with words of encouragement and love.

#2 Farting. There is no denying that flatulence is the least sexy thing that a human could possibly do, but the key word here is “human”. You are a human being and so is your partner. Farting is natural and, as disgusting as it can be, should not be something you keep from each other.

Did you know that there are couples out there who, despite being with each other for years *and some may even have a child together*, still can’t manage to fart anywhere near their partner? To me, that is downright mind blowing. What could be more intimate than raising a family together? Apparently to them, farting is.

It’s understandable if you don’t want to completely let loose in a new relationship, but once you have secured something long term with someone, it doesn’t make sense to hide this smelly yet completely natural occurrence from each other. Funnily enough, farting should bridge the intimacy between the two of you while also making for some great comic relief.

#3 Cooking. Cooking for each other is definitely a big must when it comes to doing something intimate together. Whether you work as a team or decide to take turns treating each other to a home cooked meal, this act of love is definitely something worth doing. No matter how bad of a cook you are, the only way to break down all those culinary barriers is to literally let your partner taste what you can do.

#4 Do it somewhere new. Build intimacy by letting your kinky side shine. Instead of repetitively making love at home, why not be a little naughty and do it somewhere new? Whether it’s in the bushes at the park or in an H&M changing room or even a cheesy love hotel, don’t be afraid to let your wild side out.

You’ll be surprised at how much a sexual escapade can help link the two of you together, not to mention the whole risk of getting caught would definitely add a bit of thrill and excitement. [Read: Did you know that getting naked in public can improve your sex life?]

#5 Financial planning. As dull as it may be, discussing your finances is very important in bridging the divide between two people. It’s always good to know the state of your partner’s affairs, and letting him or her in on your financial world will undoubtedly help bring you closer.

For example, if you’re a financial mess and have finally decided to share this embarrassing bit of information with your partner, he or she will be able to give you advice, seek help with you or simply help you control how much you’re spending.

A word of caution: don’t jump into setting up a joint account or be loose about giving your partner a credit card. Being aware of how your significant other is doing financially is good enough for the time being. Only take further steps once you have determined that you want to start building your future together. [Read: 17 genuis ways couples can save money]

#6 Experiment with sex. Although not everything is about sex, copulating with your partner sure is important! Play around with different sexual positions, experiment with weird foreplay, use props, and try things you never thought you would ever do. Letting down your guard and traversing into brand spanking *pun intended* new territory is a fun way to build intimacy with your loved one. [Read: 10 naughty games to spice up your sex life]

#7 Pooping in front of each other. This is certainly crossing the line into a truly disgusting zone. However, what better way to feel more intimate with your partner than by not being shy about doing this natural deed?

It doesn’t mean that you have to sit and stare into each other’s eyes while on the throne. THAT is disgusting. But consider this: not everyone is blessed with multiple bathrooms. Sometimes, a scenario where one partner is on the throne while the other is in the shower is completely inevitable. It’s completely understandable if some of you find this utterly unacceptable, but in emergency cases, you don’t really have much of a choice.

#8 Live out a fantasy. Whether it’s dressing up as a French maid, sticking pasties on your nipples while grooving to Michael Bolton or playing out a home invasion scene, you should indulge in living out each other’s sexual fantasies no matter how strange.

By disclosing each other’s sexual fantasies, you get a glimpse into each other’s sick and twisted minds and if you still love each other after all that is said and done, then good for you. Nothing beats being intimate with each other more than sharing and playing out secret fantasies.

[Read: Top 10 women’s fantasies to add a sexual sizzle to your love life]

[Read: The 10 hottest male fantasies you can try with your partner]

#9 Share secrets. This brings us to more sharing, but instead of sexual fantasies, share your deepest secrets. Whether it’s a traumatic clown experience you had as a child or an embarrassing incident that involved a coffee maker and darts, there is no shame in sharing your secrets with your significant other. Not only will you get to know this person better, you will also learn to trust your partner more.

#10 Pop pimples. This other downright gross bit of advice is meant for all you long term partners out there. If you have a partner you can call to pop pimples on your butt and lend you a hand with removing those unsightly blackheads, then you’ve definitely got a keeper on your hands. It takes a whole lot of trust to be able to pull this stunt off!

#11 Be honest. If you want to build intimacy, you have to be honest with each other. There is no way around this obvious fact. A relationship built on lies and half truths is not a realistic one.

Sit your partner down and be honest about what you want from the relationship. Tell your partner about how you genuinely feel and be just as authentic with your reaction when they share in kind. The whole point of picking and settling down with a mate is being able to share a life together and that means not having to second guess when your partner tells you something.

#12 Use nicknames. Those in long term relationships will tell you that calling their loved ones by name seems bizarre and too formal. To build intimacy with each other, pick cute nicknames and use those instead. From basic ones like “babe” to those that stem from inside jokes like “green fairy”, just go with the flow. Don’t worry, you only ever need to use this when it’s just the two of you.

#13 Schedule a date night often. Forging a strong bond of intimacy between two people takes time and effort. So you need to spend as much time together as you can. If both of you are caught up in your careers, have kids, or just don’t have much time for your relationship, then you need to make adjustments to liven things up a bit. No matter how busy life gets, you have to make time for your special someone.

Intimacy entails more than just having sex on the regular. It means having a deep understanding of each other throughout different situations and scenarios. Be open towards your partner and allow yourselves to be more candid towards each other. Whether it means being accepting of each other despite your less-than-pleasant bodily functions or exposing your innermost secrets, building intimacy is one of the core foundations of a lasting successful relationship. [Read: 13 dinner date ideas for every type of couple]

[Read: 25 must-follow rules for a successful relationship]

Every couple has their own way of reinforcing their intimacy towards each other. Give these 13 activities a try and see just how well they’re able to strengthen your bond with your loved one.

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Gemma Hsieh
Born in Singapore and raised in Canada to multi-racial parents, Gemma is a self-proclaimed travel and food junkie. Having traveled extensively around the world,...
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