It’s normal for the spark to dull a bit with time, and that’s why you need to learn how to rekindle a relationship and get your love life roaring again!
Everybody loves the honeymoon phase. You’re having amazing sex, the best dates, and every adventure is exciting. But this stage doesn’t last forever, and you’ll need to learn how to rekindle a relationship to keep things fresh and new.
Over time, the sex gets boring, your dates become routine, and you’re far too comfortable with them for anything to be exciting. If you’ve ever gone through the honeymoon phase with anyone, you’ll know we’re right.
There’s just something about getting too comfortable with someone that takes all the fire out of a relationship—which sucks! Don’t you want that spark back? Don’t you want to feel like you’re a lovesick teenager again? [Read: The 8 most common marital problems and how to solve them]
Why do relationships sometimes lose their spark?
Whether you’re married or not, lots of things can affect passion levels. Life, basically. Stress, problems, arguments, children, lack of sleep, illness, family problems, the list goes on. Learning how to rekindle a marriage is extremely important.
It’s normal for relationships to go off the boil a little but you have to work to get that spark back again. If you don’t, nothing will change and you may find that you end up growing apart.
The good news is that it’s easy to learn how to rekindle a relationship or a marriage, both sexually and non-sexually. Reconnecting can be as easy as making time for each other again or learning something new in the bedroom. [Read: Honeymoon phase – How to calculate how long it will last for you both]
We get used to one another and boredom sets in. That doesn’t mean you don’t love each other, it just means life is getting in the way.
While it’s never going to be possible to maintain that honeymoon period for the entire stretch of your relationship *hopefully many years*, you can create a fun and fulfilling environment for both of you to enjoy and grow together. [Read: One year itch – 25 tips to avoid marriage problems early on]
How to rekindle your marriage or relationship to make it last!
Not all relationships that get past the honeymoon phase are doomed forever—obviously. But if you’re feeling stuck in a rut, you may need some outside help to get things back on the road to fun and excitement.
That’s where we come in! We’ve put together a list of the best ways to rekindle your relationship and bring back the fire that has slowly gone out. [Read: 15 reasons why most couples get bored with their relationship]
1. Address the problem at hand
Sometimes it’s just a rut, but other times it might be something much more serious than that. Figure out which it is and address that issue. They could have done something that put you off or maybe you did something to them.
Either way, in order to start rekindling that hot romance, you have to get rid of whatever is putting a damper on it in the first place. That’s the first step to learn how to rekindle love. [Read: 20 relationship problems that push a couple apart or bring them closer]
2. Spend some time apart
Absence really does make the heart grow fonder. Couples who have lost that spark often just spend too much time together and almost become numb to each other’s presence. This is often the case in couples who need to learn how to rekindle a marriage.
Spending time apart gives you both the opportunity to miss each other and the qualities that you love.
You can try spending a weekend away from one another or simply make an effort to do things with friends rather than always being together. [Read: How much time should couples spend together?]
3. Try something new
Sure, eating at the same restaurant every Friday night might be nice, because they know your order before you even walk in the door, but it’s far too predictable. There’s no excitement there and definitely no spark.
Try a new restaurant or do something that neither of you has ever done but always wanted to. Science says that learning something new brings a couple closer. [Read: 23 science-backed facts about love that’ll blow your mind]
4. Join a group league
If the two of you are in a rut because all you see is each other, this is a fantastic way to spend time rekindling your relationship while also meeting new people.
You’ll get to bond in a new environment that can help spark that special something that’s been missing.
5. Take ballroom dance classes
One—or both—of you may not want to, because it can be intimidating and embarrassing, but trust us. Ballroom dancing is a way to not only bring the two of you closer together physically and emotionally, but it will also give you a new skill to show off at any social event you go to. [Read: 15 fun and romantic things to do as a couple that are budget-friendly]
6. Put on something sexy
When you need to learn how to rekindle a marriage or relationship, you probably need to rekindle your sex life, too. What better way than to throw on something that your partner will be unable to resist?
Get something sexy and walk around the house in it. It’ll be an amazing surprise that’ll get their blood pumping. [Read: 10 naughty ways to get over a sexual dry spell instantly]
7. Spice up the bedroom routine
Don’t just use clothes to look good in bed; you have to spice up the whole act. Since it’s probably progressed to something rather predictable and—dare we say—boring, you need some new moves in between the sheets.
Try some new positions or throw in a sex toy!
8. Take an exotic vacation
Work, chores, and everyday life can take a toll on your relationship. You get so caught up in a routine you forget you have someone else to put your time and energy into.
To escape all of that so you have time for your significant other, go on an amazing vacation together! You will be relaxed and happy to be in each other’s company. That spark will reignite on its own. [Read: 10 most romantic vacation spots for couple looking to rekindle their romance]
9. Relive your first date
Make a pact to relive your first date as close to the real thing as you can. Same restaurant, same time, and even the same outfits—if you can. Ladies, don’t forget the perfume you wore that night.
This will bring back all the jittery feelings and excitement that went along with it. You’ll feel like you’re going on a very first date with them again and, believe us, it will rekindle your relationship.
10. Go camping
Nothing brings a couple back together like the raw, natural earth. Going camping brings out all your vulnerabilities and even a few of your handy skills that your partner might not know you have.
So get in with the dirt and grit and spend a night under the stars, roasting marshmallows and sharing body heat! Can you think of a better way to learn how to rekindle a marriage or long relationship? [Read: 13 naughty date ideas to add a sexy sizzle to love]
11. Do something you both hate
This might sound a little crazy, but in our experience, it works wonders. Do you both despise bowling? Then go do it!
Bonding over something that you both dislike and having to suffer through it together will bring you much closer together and you’ll have a nice laugh about it, too!
12. Surprise them often
Bring home their favorite dinner or flowers, or surprise them with tickets to see their favorite band. Little things here and there that show how much you care will almost guarantee that your flame won’t dwindle. [Read: 25 really sweet, romantic gestures you can use every day]
13. Start talking again
We mean intimately. Don’t just ask about their day, like you do every single day when they come home. Talk about the important things, such as what’s happening in the world and how you both feel about it.
Opening up those kinds of emotions brings people much closer together. You may even learn new things about them that you never knew before… despite how long you’ve been together. [Read: 15 things couples in happy relationships always talk about]
14. Stop nagging
Nagging is a huge turn off. No one wants to have fun with the person who is constantly trying to get them to do something they don’t want to do.
Yes, the chores have to be done, but there are better ways to ask than resorting to nagging. To know how to rekindle love, you have to know how to communicate from the start.
15. Stop complaining
You can complain about the catty office women at your work or how hard it is to keep up with school or chores, but never complain to your significant other about your significant other.
It will bring your partner down and make them resent you. In turn, it will put out the spark in your relationship. [Read: 10 easy steps to reignite the lost spark in your romance]
16. Playfully make fun of them
Do you remember when you used to pick on their cute habits and they would chase you around, trying to make you stop? Which almost always led straight to making out or heading to the bedroom?
Well, make that happen again! Make fun of them *innocently* and it’ll definitely help you learn how to rekindle a marriage or relationship.
17. Initiate fun at every opportunity
When your relationship is at a standstill, it’s mostly because you have run out of fun things to do. Whenever you see an opportunity for the two of you to have some extra fun, TAKE IT! Having fun is a surefire way to get the spark back in your relationship.
When learning how to rekindle love, it’s all about priorities and focusing on fun. [Read: 25 must-follow relationship rules for successful love]
18. Think about how you used to treat your partner
We often reflect on all the things that our spouse never does anymore. But if you want to know how to rekindle your marriage or relationship, it is about considering your role and how you have changed.
If you used to smile when they walked in a room or be sweet, funny, and cute at will, then it’s time for you to be the same person they married again. [Read: 23 ingenious ways to keep a relationship exciting and fun]
19. Praise
When the day-to-day gets in the way, it is easy to get bogged down with responsibility. Conversations involve nothing more than what someone needs to do, what is wrong, or where your partner needs to pick up the slack.
If it has been a while since you have shown your spouse appreciation, we mean outwardly praising someone in words and love, then it is time to start.
A little praise goes a long way in learning how to rekindle love. [Read: 16 warm ways to show your appreciation for someone you love]
20. Make time for sex and don’t cancel it
It’s not just about trying new things, it’s about actually making time for sex. It’s easy to start prioritizing everything else over bedroom time with your partner, but sex helps to bond couples together.
If everything else seems more important, you need to sit down and think about your priorities. Throw out your responsibilities for a change and just have some spontaneous sex. You might find it’s all you need to learn how to rekindle love that’s lacking in intimacy. [Read: How often do married couples have sex – Real life confessions from readers]
21. Make time for your partner
Sure, you sit down to dinner every night, and you spend time staring at a television screen next to one another. There is a difference between being with each other and spending time together.
Making time for your partner means putting them in front of your other obligations and making them a priority. [Read: What is real love? 15 ways true love sets itself apart]
22. Put away your cell phone
Is there anything that makes someone feel more insignificant more than playing second fiddle to a phone? We get it, we all get wrapped up when the text message ding alerts us. We have become conditioned to drop everything when our smartphones chime.
The problem is that bringing your cell phone to dinner, to the shower, or even to bed, makes your significant other feel insignificant.
Make a no cell phone policy when you are together, at least for an hour or two. You will quickly reconnect without interruption or someone else raining on your parade. [Read: 12 real reasons why couples drift apart over time]
23. Take your spouse on a naked weekend getaway
If you can’t seem to get your clothes off quickly enough to get busy and put them on again because your kids are always at the door, that makes it difficult to rekindle love.
Learning how to rekindle a marriage or relationship is about finding that “I can’t get enough of you” once more. So, book a weekend getaway and make sure that you leave your clothes at the door! [Read: Weekend sex marathon – 23 ways and what to know to have dirty sex 24/7]
24. Talk about your fantasies
When sex becomes stale, it’s easy to feel bored in and out of the bedroom. So, it’s time to spice things up by talking about the things that turn you on.
What are your fantasies? What things do you want to try, or perhaps things you’ll never try but find it arousing just to think about them?
Talking to your partner in this way reconnects you on so many different levels and of course, you’ll probably spice up your sex life as a very pleasant side effect! [Read: The top 50 kinky sex ideas worth trying at least once *or talking about*]
25. Remind your partner that you actually do love them
If you think your spouse just knows that you love them, news flash, they may or may not.
The simple three words “I love you” mean more than you know and may be the key to knowing how to rekindle a marriage. Don’t assume you are showing your love; they may actually need to hear you whisper that sweet three-word phrase.
26. Leave little notes around for them
Remember in school when you would find a secret note from your crush or secret admirer? Leaving a love note for your partner or a secret love letter makes their heart soar and reminds them about the first time you fell in love. [Read: 10 most important tips to write an amazing love letter]
27. Send text messages often and with care
There is something very special about getting a text message that has a personal message. It says “I miss you.”
Send love emojis, funny memes, naughty photos, and general declarations of love to rekindle your relationship one message at a time. [Read: The 80 best cute texts for him to make him smile and miss you more]
28. And, try sexting too
Don’t just stick with regular text messages and lovey-dovey chat, try sexting too. That way, you’ll reconnect sexually, fan the flames of desire, and turn each other on, ready for when you return home!
It’ll certainly bring back the excitement because it’s a dirty secret only the two of you share. That’s one of the best ways to learn how to rekindle a marriage. [Read: How to sext – The step-by-step guide to texting naughty, flirty and dirty in no time]
29. Make peace with the past
If you want to rekindle a marriage or long relationship, it is about one thing – forgiveness.
Making peace with the past helps you move on and be more vulnerable with one another. It helps you avoid making assumptions about intention, and allows you to find the love that may be hiding under all those ugly, angry layers. [Read: How to let go of the past and be excited by the future]
30. Hug more, make war less
All those small disagreements and fights begin to mount into an entire war campaign. If you want to rekindle your marriage and find a way back to love, let the little things go and don’t make a mountain out of a molehill, or a war out of a small scuttle. [Read: Are relationship fights normal? 15 signs you’re arguing too often]
31. Do the small things that mean so much
It is the small things that mean more than the grand ones. Ask yourself what your partner really wants and finds value in, and, likely, you will find that it isn’t anything expensive or outlandish.
It is probably just some acknowledgment and love from you. It is the small things that add up to love.
32. Compliment your partner in front of others
A compliment is an awesome thing, but even better when you hear someone praising you in front of others. If you want to know how to rekindle love, compliments are a great starting point.
If you acknowledge how lucky you are to be their one and only, it is a proclamation that they are someone truly special to you. [Read: 15 sweet gestures to express love without words]
33. Plan a special date night
Spending a night alone with your partner may not seem like a big deal to you, but if they have been drifting away, a special date night or weekend getaway is the perfect solution to being disconnected.
Try to leave the stress of the day-to-day behind and get back to what is really important… the two of you.
34. Make them feel wanted, sexually
It’s so easy to start to feel unattractive when sex isn’t happening regularly. You wonder whether your partner has lost interest in you sexually. So, make your partner feel totally desired.
You can do this in so many ways. Lavish their body with praise, caress and touch them all over, telling them how great it feels to do so. Once the feeling of being desired comes back, everything else may fall into place. [Read: How to spice up your sex life in 30 sexy ways]
35. Do one small, significant thing every day to make their life easier
Sometimes we get so caught up in all that we do and have to do, that we forget the hardships and pressure our partner feels.
It doesn’t take much to brighten their day by taking one small significant thing off of their to-do list. Taking out the garbage or vacuuming is sometimes the best foreplay there is. we promise you that those little things are the best aphrodisiac ever. [Read: 12 signs you’re being selfish in a relationship]
36. Never go a day without telling them you love them
Sometimes we just assume they know by the fact that you are still around. But, hearing “I love you” is food for the soul.
If you don’t say it, how can you be sure they know? You never want anyone to go without knowing what is in your heart. That’s one of the strong ways to learn how to rekindle a marriage or long relationship.
37. Be grateful for what they do instead of taking it for granted
Daily life gets in the way. We assume our partner does their thing and you do yours, and that is the way it is. Truthfully, it is difficult to maintain loving feelings if you take the things someone does for granted.
If you think they don’t appreciate you or all that you do, you start seeing them in a different and less loving light. Say “thank you: for the small and big things, so they always know your gratitude for them. [Read: 20 things to be grateful for that you don’t appreciate enough in life]
38. Never go to bed angry
That old phrase “don’t ever go to bed angry” has a lot of people staying up into the wee-hours of the morning being angry and damaging relationships. Understanding that is one way to learn how to rekindle love.
Instead of fighting it out, sometimes it is better to be happy than right. Instead of hashing it out all night, agree to disagree about silly things and skip straight to the makeup sex.
We promise you that you will feel much better in the morning. You will definitely not be as tired. [Read: The art of make up sex – A guide to master the romp after the rage]
39. Let go of your inhibitions
You aren’t the perfect size two you started at and you’re certainly older. But, you are still the person who lit their heart on fire. Let go of your inhibitions and see yourself as sexy again.
If you stop seeing the sexy in you, they will too. Show them what you are made of and be the vixen you were when you met, regardless of how much you change. If you show sexy, they see sexy, not ten pounds or more years. [Read: 14 tips to revamp and reveal the hot and sexy you]
40. Even if you aren’t in the mood, a blow job is like sending flowers
Sometimes it is important to do something just for the other person whether you are in the mood or not. If you don’t feel like having sex due to a bad day, don’t reject their needs. That doesn’t mean doing something you don’t want to do, it means compromising on the things you don’t mind.
Spend some time making them feel good, and they will return the feeling.
41. Be spontaneous
Day to day sucks! If you want to know how to rekindle love then be adventurous in the way you used to be. Show up at their work to take them away for the day or buy tickets to their favorite concert.
Do new and exciting things to keep your relationship equally as exciting, but do them on the spur of the moment. [Read: 18 ways to become more spontaneous in life]
42. Don’t fear rejection
During the course of a relationship, you are bound to build up some resentment, hurt, and anger. Most of these emotions stem from rejection. Don’t stop touching, being yourself, or being playful for fear they won’t join in.
Someone has to make the first move. So, be the first one to put yourself out there for rejection and pray for the opposite.
43. Decipher what is real and what is really important
Stop assuming that you know how they feel unless you ask. Sometimes we start to put our own angst about ourselves or our insecurities onto someone else and make it reality.
Don’t make any assumptions about how they do or don’t feel, unless they say so. Don’t shut them down or out because of your assumptions. Open up and let them in again. [Read: 25 must-follow relationship rules for happy love]
44. Look through old photos and hang them up as a reminder
Pictures are a great way to remind us how we used to be before the mess of a relationship and life entered in. Hang up photos of you both kissing and smiling to remind you who you used to be.
If you want to know how to rekindle love, looking back at happy times can be a good starting point.
45. Have day sex
If you used to have rendezvous sex, start it up again. Sex doesn’t have to be in bed or late at night. We can all find time for a quickie anywhere, anytime.
Just be creative and remember those crazy kids you used to be, the ones that took chances. [Read: 10 naughty sex games for couples to feel really horny again]
46. Spend Sunday naked in bed
When was the last time you closed the world away and just laid naked in bed together? It’s time to get back there.
Screw your Sunday plans and obligations. Obligate yourself to one another.
47. Focus on their sexual needs instead of your own
If you want to truly understand how to rekindle love again, put your partner’s needs and wants first. It is sometimes better to give than receive. Next time, you will be on the receiving end.
We often get stuck in a sex rut and that can force us to become a little selfish. Give yourself a shake and focus on your partner. [Read: The 10 most important needs in a relationship for it to grow and last]
48. Listen to their actions
There are all sorts of ways they likely tell you things. Listen to their actions, not their words. Maybe you will see you don’t have to rekindle, but simply listen harder.
We assume that a route to learning how to rekindle love is about making major changes, but sometimes we just need to tune into our partners better.
49. It isn’t just about the bedroom
Rekindling a relationship means better communication. It means more concern, support, and finding the you that you used to be, before all the mess of life crept in.
Stop your lives from clouding your love. [Read: 14 ways to learn better communication and make your relationship stronger]
Relationships ebb and flow but the control is in your hands
Every relationship goes through phases. Some of those phases are more exciting than others. However, the key to understanding how to rekindle a marriage or long-term relationship comes down to making your partner a priority.
It’s easy to become so caught up in life that we forget our partners need love and attention. Simple, small acts every day can help to build the intimacy once more. Then, you’ll be back in the honeymoon period before you know it!
You wanted to know how to rekindle love, so now go and follow our advice to do just that.
[Read: 8 experienced words of advice for everlasting love]
Nobody wants to be in a relationship that is lackluster and boring. If you’re looking for ways to learn how to rekindle love you felt in those first months, these are the best ways to do just that!
