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How to Know if You’re in Love: 15 Signs It’s Not Just Butterflies

They’re all you think about and you’ve totally forgotten about the ex who broke your heart. Learn how to know if you’re in love in surprising ways!

how to know if you're in love

The thing is, when you move through the early stages of dating and into serious territory, how can you really tell when you cross the line from just being together to being smitten with your new beau? How to know if you’re in love can be deduced in 15 pretty easy, yet sometimes surprising, ways.

There is a huge difference between being in love and being in lust. And there’s a massive difference between being in love and being infatuated.

When you’re in love, everything feels calm and easy. Gone are the panic-stricken moments when they don’t reply immediately to a text, or you’re always trying to make yourself look your best because you’re worried they won’t like you with morning hair and breath.

[Read: 22 signs of love that signal it is the real deal]

How to know if you’re in love: 15 surprising ways to reveal the truth

Yes, being in love is a calmer, less worried, and more chilled out type of deal. Here’s how to tell if it’s love or just a passing thing.

#1 The antics of your ex don’t bother you anymore. It’s normal to feel upset or angry when you look back on past relationships and the things your ex might have done to hurt you.

But when you’re in love, those things don’t bother you as much. Sure, you might still get the odd moment of anger, but the hurt will have healed because they don’t matter to you anymore. [Read: The 9 stages of love all couples have to go through]

#2 Sex is great, but you love the cuddles more. At the beginning, it’s all about ripping each other’s clothes off and loving every second you spend between the sheets. However, how to know if you’re in love can be figured out by how you feel about the cuddles versus the sex.

It’s normal for the passion to fade a little but when you’re in love you don’t mind so much because the cuddles are just as good, if not better. [Read: How to cuddle with all the best cuddle positions you should know]

#3 When something happens, you want to tell them first. How to know if you’re in love? When something happens to you, good or bad, they’re the first person you want to tell about it. You want to share your experiences with them and hear their opinion on it, because it genuinely matters to you.

#4 They’re the ones who just make you feel better. Moving on from the last point, if something happens to you, they’re the ones who make you feel better, faster. A cuddle from your beau eases your upset and makes you feel calmer. They have a habit of just knowing what to say to you to ease your worries or concerns, and it feels like home.

#5 The worry stage has eased. While it’s normal to have the odd moment of ‘what must they think of me’, the initial panic stages of what to wear and why they’ve not texted you back immediately have eased. You feel assured by the fact that if they’ve not texted you straight back, it’s fine, and they will when they have a moment. It’s simply calmer and far less worrisome.

#6 You want to make them feel better. If your partner is having a bad day, feeling under the weather, or just not on top of their game, you want to make them feel better.

This is probably one of the biggest signs on how to know if you’re in love, because their emotions and their pain matters more to you in that moment. That’s love. [Read: 8 little habits that bring couples closer together]

#7 Making them smile becomes your hobby of choice. Making them smile makes you smile and makes you feel good to know that you did that for them. You don’t mind acting silly or telling jokes to make them grin.

#8 You’re not always second guessing them when they tell you where they’ve been. If you’re in love, you trust your partner. It’s not possible to have a healthy relationship without trust. So, assuming your relationship is healthy, when they tell you where they’ve been, you believe them and you don’t question it. It’s a wonderful feeling.

#9 You have conversations about what to do in the future. When you start talking about the future, it’s a big nod towards the big L. You’re planning weekends away, what you might do a few years down the line, and perhaps even making big decisions that will affect the rest of your lives. That’s how to know if you’re in love, indeed! [Read: The sure signs of falling in love everyone should know]

#10 You don’t mind compromising or sacrificing things for them. While you shouldn’t go around making sacrifices just for the sake of it, especially if you’re always putting yourself second, you know you’re in love if you don’t mind doing so, at the right time. Relationships are about compromise and sacrifice. When you’re fine with it, you’ve fallen hard.

#11 Arguments don’t make you automatically worry that it’s over. When you’re in the early stages of dating and you have an argument, it’s normal to worry that everything is over. When you fall in love, you know that you’re going to have arguments occasionally. You also know that it’s not the end of the line. You talk things through and overcome the issue together. [Read: 14 steps that’ll lead you to better love and better communication]

#12 You have a general feeling of contentment. Being in love feels calm and safe. How to know if you’re in love? You feel like everything has fallen into place. Sure, it won’t always be perfect, because nothing is, but you don’t feel always on edge or worried. Rather, you’re just content with where you are. You’re happy and that’s what love is about.

#13 You see things they would like and want to treat them. When you’re in love, you want to see your partner smile, but it’s not always about telling jokes and doing silly things, it’s about buying small yet meaningful gifts whenever you can. If you’re out and about and you see something you know they’d love, you’ll probably want to surprise them with it, and you’ll feel excited to do so.

#14 Being yourself is easy. There’s no need to force anything, and you don’t feel the need to try and be someone you’re not. You feel accepted for who you are, and you accept your partner for who they are too. It’s a happy and comfortable feeling that allows you to grow within the relationship.

#15 Their sadness becomes your sadness. If they’re feeling down about something, their sadness becomes yours and you really feel their hurt. That means you’ll want to help them as much as you can and support them. Your world doesn’t feel right until they’re smiling once more. [Read: All the many reasons why empathy is so important in a relationship]

The subtle shift into love

How many of these how to know if you’re in love signs can you nod along to? Sometimes it’s hard to know when you’ve passed the line between serious and in love.

It’s a subtle shift, and you might not even realize until you look back on it. Maybe you can pinpoint the exact moment you realized you were in love. But it’s more likely that it just crept up on you and you had no idea.

[Read: How to read the signs you’re definitely falling in love and feel all the feels]

Learning how to know if you’re in love means thinking about how you feel and whether or not you’ve passed from butterflies and stress to calmness and serenity. If so, the chance of love being in the air are pretty high!

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer best known for her writings on Kiiroo, LovePanky, Post Pravda, and more. She's the creator and ...
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