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When Does an Ex Start to Miss You? The Bittersweet Truth Revealed

After the breakup, you might wonder ‘when does an ex start to miss you?’ But, there’s no specific timeframe, they just do.

when does an ex start to miss you

While you are going through those confusing post-breakup emotions you may begin to wonder, when does an ex start to miss you? Is your ex thinking about you right now? Are they thinking about you as much as you’re thinking about them?

Whether or not you want your ex back, it’s normal to want them to miss you.

No matter how long you’ve dated, you’ll still miss them and secretly hope they miss you too. Even if you ended on the worst of terms, there are always going to be things you miss about them. However, our egos get in the way of a breakup and often, we’ll never show we miss our ex. [Read: 12 reasons why the no contact rule always works]

Why do you wonder when an ex starts to miss you?

It is perfectly normal to wonder when an ex will start missing you. We all do it. It’s a natural part of getting over an ex. But, why do we do it? Maybe we just need the assurance that they miss the relationship as much as you do or that they’re also hurting.

There are plenty of reasons to ask ourselves ‘when does an ex start to miss you’, but are they good reasons? Sure. As long as you don’t dwell too much on this, you’re fine. If this is something you think in passing or find yourself wondering about, it’s no problem. [Read: How to look for subtle signs your ex misses you after the breakup]

But, if you are constantly struggling with this and find yourself stalking your ex online, checking to see if they’ve seen your posts, your reason may be unhealthy. No matter how much wondering you do if they miss you or not, you won’t get them back.

The relationship ended for a reason and even if they do miss you, it doesn’t mean you’ll reunite. You can wonder if they miss you, but paying too much attention will only lead to a longer grieving process. [Read: Is my ex still thinking of me? Here’s how to read all the right signs]

Why do you miss an ex?

First things first, you’re only human so having emotions is part of that human experience. A romantic relationship is the most intimate relationship you can have in your life. When that relationship ends, it’s normal to miss them with an intensity that feels unbearable.

Missing them will hurt a lot because the relationship mattered to you, but now it’s over. If you ever imagined a future with that person, it also means everything in that future is gone. Just like that, they’re back to being a stranger *with memories.*

The most common reason is that you miss them because you wish things didn’t end and a breakup didn’t occur. You miss them because you wish deeply that you could’ve fixed things and the relationship worked out. But life has different plans and what we want is sometimes different to what happens. [Read: 30 steps to take to help you make it through a breakup]

When does an ex start to miss you?

All breakups are different, and at first, we tend to be angry or simply in shock. But, once we move to the next stage of grief, things change. Depending on how often you saw your ex, after a few days or weeks apart, it really hits you that the relationship is over.

Even the worst relationships have their good times. Those memories stick with you. You miss their place in your life and that comfort or routine you had.

Some people have different timeframes for missing an ex; some miss their ex immediately after the breakup, while others take weeks or months. Maybe they miss you when they come across the place you used to date or when they hold your belongings. [Read: How to get your ex-boyfriend back after a regretful parting]

There is a saying or assumption that every time you think about someone, they are thinking about you. That is not scientifically proven, but you can presume that your relationship mattered to both of you and that when you miss your ex, they miss you too.

They might not show the signs evidently, but their feelings of missing you are lurking beneath. [Read: 16 clear signs your ex wants you back and can’t stop thinking of you]

Does it matter when an ex starts to miss you?

Honestly, does it really matter? With this knowledge, are you going to reach out to them? Missing each other is just a step in the process of a breakup. It doesn’t really change anything. It’s really just a boost of ego when they end up missing you.

It’s an assurance that you’re not alone in your vulnerability and that you feel the same way as they do. Maybe it isn’t the most progressive and mature feeling in the world, but we all have our moments of weakness. And it doesn’t have to be more complicated than that.

Missing an ex and having an ex miss you is just that. Missing someone doesn’t mean you want to or should see each other. You can miss someone without wanting them back, especially if you know exactly why things had to end.

It feeds your ego but is nothing but a surface level of instant gratification. In the long run, it doesn’t mean much. [Read: 16 subtle signs your ex wants you back but won’t admit it]

8 factors that make them start to miss you

There are several factors to consider when trying to decide when does an ex start to miss you. If you’ve ever wondered what triggers your ex to miss you more than usual, here are the following things you should take note of. [Read: How to help your ex move on and get over you for good

1. When you give them space

You know what they say, right? Absence makes the heart grow fonder. So if you desperately want your ex to miss you badly, then give them space. Don’t keep chasing them around – how will they miss you when you keep smothering them with your attention and presence?

There’s a reason why the no-contact rule is so popular when trying to get your ex back or making them miss you. When you cut off all communication and give them space, they start missing you. When silence isn’t what they expect from you, they’ll begin to wonder where you went and what’s going on. [Read: The no contact rule: A powerful gamble to get your ex to desire you]

2. When you work on yourself

When your ex sees that you’re so much better than you ever were when you were with them, this causes a shift in their emotions. Maybe you’ve been working out more, or you’ve been succeeding in your career. When they see that you’re in a much better place than they are, they start to miss you.

They might even regret breaking up with you if it was them that did the dumping. It’s the primary reason why they say success and happiness are the best revenge in any breakup. [Read: How to improve yourself: 16 powerful secrets of self-improvement]

3. When they see you going on adventures

Social media is the best place to be when you’re trying to get them to miss you. So if you’re wondering when does an ex start to miss you, it’s when they see you’re trying all kinds of different things. Maybe you took a paint class, went on different plane trips, went on road trips with your friends, and tried all sorts of hobbies.

This is the literal definition of going out of your comfort zone and when they see you having fun, they can’t help but miss you in the process. You might not be following them anymore, but that doesn’t mean they won’t subtly lurk on your socials.

4. When they see you going on dates

This should be an obvious one, but going on dates means you’re ready to move on from them. So if they see you dating or having fun in dating apps, they begin to miss you. Really, all the factors in this list are triggered by ego. An ex hates it when you’re doing so much better than them because it implies you’re “winning the breakup.”

So even if you’re not dating seriously, dating still means you’re having fun in your own way, and they don’t like that idea. Jealousy and envy are both powerful emotions, after all. [Read: How to start dating again: 9 steps to get back in the game]

5. When you’re not feeling sorry for yourself

There are two kinds of people in a breakup – one who feels sorry for themselves and drowns in self-pity and one who tries their best to move forward. It doesn’t make you heartless just because you’re the latter; it makes you strong and resilient.

If they see you’re not posting sad quotes on Facebook or tweeting about the breakup, they’ll begin to miss you. This is because they’ll wonder why you’re not as devastated and broken about the breakup, especially when it was them that broke up with you.

So if you’re wondering when does an ex start to miss you, it’s when you take charge of your life and try your best to move forward. [Read: How to stop feeling sorry for yourself & end the pity party]

6. When you don’t remain friends

Unless you were already friends before the relationship, there’s no way you can or should remain friends with your ex. They may start to miss you romantically if you decline to stay friends with them.

One of the most common reasons they would want to stay friends with you is to benefit from a relationship with you minus the commitment. Basically, they don’t want you to move on to other people just yet, which is why they ask if you can remain friends. [Read: Reasons why your ex might want to be friends with you]

7. When they’re emotionally low

When your ex isn’t at a good place in their life, it makes them miss you more than usual. It can hit home for them, especially when you’re thriving and they’re not doing so well. Since they’re used to having you as their safe space and comfort, they miss you during their darkest moments.

This is why you might get drunk calls, texts, or even booty calls from your ex during unusual hours when in reality, they just miss venting to you and talking to you about their problems.

8. When they’re hanging at your favorite spots

Is there a place you used to go together all the time? Maybe it’s that coffee shop by the corner, or you met at a bookstore. When they pass by those places you created even the simplest memories, they can’t help but miss you.

If you’re wondering when does an ex start to miss you, it’s when they hang out at all the places you had memories in. Even if you just went there once, it’s enough to tug at their heartstrings and make them miss you a lot. [Read: Does my ex miss me? 23 signs your ex is clearly not over you yet]

Does your ex miss you?

Look back at your relationship and remind yourself why things ended in the first place. Think about how much better off you are now. You can appreciate the good times and even miss certain moments or things about your ex. You can expect them to miss you too, but do not dwell on this.

The thing is, they can’t help but miss you with these factors mentioned above, but that doesn’t mean you should get back together with them. They’re an ex for a reason, and it’s much better if they stay that way.

[Read: 14 things to keep in mind when you bump into your ex]

If you really want to know when does an ex start to miss you, it all depends on the person. Sometimes they miss you when it’s a little too late and sometimes, they miss you when a memory crosses their mind.

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Samantha Ann
My name is Samantha Ann. I am 28 years old. It was always my dream to become an advice columnist, so after years of off and online dating and eventually finding...