When someone breaks your heart, you can either move on and try again or adopt a new anti love lifestyle and turn your back on love. Which do you choose?
Being anti love sounds like the last resort for anyone who has ever experienced heartbreak. From that perspective, forgetting about love entirely sounds like the best way to move on and protect yourself. But is it really the right choice? Would you prefer to be anti love instead of remaining open to love in the future?
Should you become anti love?
When you choose to become anti love, you are choosing to reject any form of romantic love that may come your way. You could stop pursuing it or prevent any opportunity for it to come into your life again. If you choose that path, this is what could happen:
#1 You won’t entertain any suitors or pursue any crushes. Isn’t that the point of being anti love? Preventing the cause of heartbreak before it even starts? That’s why you constantly hear people saying, “I will never date anybody again!” after they experience a particularly traumatic breakup. [Read: 13 signs it’s finally time to start dating again]
#2 You will start to rely on the love of your friends and family alone. That can be a good thing, but it could also manifest in negative ways, like when you become too clingy or too involved in your friends’ and family’s lives. It’s okay to take comfort in your loved ones, but make sure that you’re not transferring your feelings of loss onto them.
#3 You won’t feel the same way you used to when you see other people in love. Before becoming anti love, you either appreciated other people’s relationships or harbored a healthy kind of envy for it. When you reject love, you won’t be able to see the good parts because all you’ll be able to focus on is everything that could go wrong. This could be harmful to your relationship with other couples. They may see you as a negative influence that they need to avoid in the future. [Read: How to be a happy couple that’s envied by all]
#4 You will actively avoid any chance to be in love. You will reject set-ups and blind dates, will refrain from online dating, and even avoid the guy or girl who has a crush on you at the office. You will put more effort into avoiding love than healing yourself from the pain you’ve experienced. The problem with this is that you’ll be putting so much work into something completely unnecessary, which will just drain you and make you feel even sadder and angrier. [Read: 13 easy ways to avoid falling in love with someone]
#5 You could end up pushing people away. Being anti love could turn you against the people who want to show you love. You never know when someone special will come into your life, but you might end up blowing your chance at being with that special person who could change your mind about being anti love.
#6 You might not like being alone. And that is the final takeaway in all of this. By rejecting love, you may end up rejecting all sources of it and end up alone. Why? Because not being open to love means being closed off to any and all ways that it could touch your heart. [Read: The 3 stages to embrace and overcome loneliness]
Should you continue to be pro love?
If you decide to continue to hold out for love, there is a possibility that you might not get what you want. But that is the beauty of it. Being open to love allows you to receive something better, but only if you don’t turn your back on love. Here’s what you might stand to gain if you choose to hang in there:
#1 You learn from your mistakes. Most of the time, people who continue to experience heartbreak aren’t unlucky. They usually make the wrong choices or refuse to follow their gut. By thinking clearly about what you want and need, you will eventually end up with the kind of love that you truly deserve. [Read: How to learn from the rejections you’ve faced]
#2 Each new relationship turns out to be better because of what you’ve learned. Heartbreak after heartbreak can get tiring sometimes, but each new relationship reveals progress. The next person you choose will not have the traits you disliked in your past relationship, which goes to show that you are growing and choosing more wisely each and every time.
#3 You get to take some time to focus on yourself. Breakups are signs that tell you that you need to focus on yourself. When you break up, it means that you are not in a happy place. Even if you thought you were happy, continuing a relationship with someone who is unhappy is just as bad as being unsatisfied yourself. This time, make it all about you for a while. [Read: How to make the absolute most out of your alone time]
#4 You discover happiness in other areas of your life. When a person is sad, they tend to look for happiness in any way that they can. If you manage to do this in a healthy manner, you will find that there are so many things in your life that can give you happiness while you wait for your next chance at love.
#5 You become stronger after putting yourself back together. Getting hurt teaches us about pain. It shows us how to deal with that pain and how to prevent it in the future. By learning this, you turn into someone smarter and more resilient in future relationships. If you continue to accept love, you will find that the next time will be easier to bear. The best part is that you’re brave enough to try again and finally succeed. [Read: 10 reasons why you feel relieved after breaking up]
#6 You start seeing the possibility of love in the right places. Crossing out the ex is the first step to knowing what’s good for you. Your time alone will show you that the love you thought you wanted may not have been right for you. By continuing to be open to love, you can continue to focus on yourself and be ready to receive love once it arrives again.
[Read: 10 things you can do that’ll bring your soulmate to you]
You can’t plan out what happens when you fall in love, nor can you predict it. But try to remember that being anti love makes it 100% more likely that you will miss out on love, whereas being open to love cancels that out and gives you a winning chance at a happy and fulfilling life… with or without a partner.
