Being cheated on feels so awful that you might end up swearing off relationships forever. Here’s how to ensure it never happens again.
Relationships can make you feel like you’re on cloud 9, and then there are relationships that involve cheating. These make you feel as if your heart got tossed into a big, black abyss. If you know what that’s like, then you definitely wouldn’t want to go through the whole ordeal again… Unless you’re some sort of glutton for punishment.
We all want a good relationship. The more bad ones you experience, the harder it gets to believe in the good ones. But they do exist. Sure, you might endure heartbreak, or get cheated on, but that doesn’t mean you’re not going to find someone who can piece your heart back together because you most definitely can.
Sometimes, we just need a little help and a different opinion when it comes to relationships. Why do you think so many people read relationship advice articles? If you are currently avoiding the dating scene because you’re afraid of being cheated on again, I’m here to help you become a believer in love once more. [Read: 10 types of toxic relationships to avoid]
How to not get cheated on ever again
No one sets out on a new relationship for the purpose of getting hurt. But so many of us have no idea how to protect ourselves from partners who end up being unfaithful. Here’s how you can protect yourself to avoid being the victim of yet another cheating schmuck.
#1 Trust your gut. Although it may seem silly, most people usually know the truth, even if they don’t want to accept it. If you have ever been cheated on, you know exactly what I’m talking about. But sometimes, people choose to look the other way, ignoring all the signs right in front of them.
One way to avoid the heartbreak that comes with cheating is to trust your gut and those feelings you can’t shake off. If you keep thinking the worst when it comes to your partner, and the feelings aren’t going away, your instincts might be on to something. Trust yourself above all else.
#2 Don’t be so quick to date. The thrill of falling fast and hard for someone new is as exciting as dating gets. It’s a warm, fuzzy feeling when you find yourself thinking you’re in love with the one that’s perfect for you. But the reality is that you can’t truly know someone in a week, in a month, not even necessarily in a year. Sometimes, you find out you never really knew them in the first place.
If you have been cheated on by someone that you fell hard and fast for, one way to not make the same mistake again is by taking things a little slower. For starters, don’t rush into a relationship immediately just because you start having those same warm and fuzzy feelings. What’s the hurry? Fools really do rush in!
By slowing down the love train a little, you allow yourself time to get to know someone better. You might find out you like them even more as you continue to get to know them, or maybe you find out things that you really don’t like. And if that’s the case, you’ve saved yourself from another failed relationship.
#3 Quit the games. Playing games is the opposite of honesty, and if it’s honesty that you want from your partner, you should learn to give as much as you want to take. When you don’t play games, you show maturity, and therefore, you are taken more seriously. The whole “player” shtick will only work if you’re just in it for fun and games, but if you want a relationship, it’s time to drop the games.
#4 Communicate. If you don’t communicate how you feel, what you want, or what you expect, then how do you expect anyone to understand you and fix whatever it is they have done to upset you in the first place? No matter how many times you read your horoscope or visit a physic, you’re probably not going to end up with a person who can literally read your mind.
The more you talk to your partner about how you feel, the more likely they’ll be able to understand you and empathize with you. They’ll know what you want and what you can offer, and this allows them to act according to what they think is best for your relationship. And if your partner understands the relationship better thanks to better communication lines, they’re less likely to intentionally hurt you by cheating. [Read: Effective communication in a relationship]
#5 Trust your partner. Just because you’ve been cheated on before, doesn’t mean that every potential partner in the entire world is a cheater and out to hurt you. Would you like it if every person you dated assumed you were a gold digger, just because you share some traits with a gold digger they dated before? No, you wouldn’t like that.
Unless someone gives you a reason not to trust them, trust them! It’s really that simple. You can’t control people and what they do, but, despite this extremely cynical world we live in, you can always hope that giving someone your trust makes them realize that it’s for keeps, and that they shouldn’t do anything to shatter it. [Read: How to get over trust issues in a relationship]
#6 Stop assuming the worst. The saying is true, “never assume anything because you end up making an ass out of ‘u’ and ‘me.'” Pessimism is exhausting, honestly. If we all went around on a daily basis worrying about what could go wrong instead of enjoying all the great things that actually do happen, what would be the point of waking up every day?
Negativity like this may make you think that you’re just bracing yourself for the worst possible scenario, but in reality, you’re just setting yourself up for failure. Who would want to date someone who always thinks of how things can go horribly wrong? Once your partner feels the gloom of your pessimism seeping into the relationship, then it won’t be a huge surprise if they try to find someone who focuses more on the bright side.
#7 Keep the spark alive. Monotony is one of the many things to blame for a person’s infidelity. That’s why it’s crucial for couples to always find time for each other, no matter how busy they may be. Take a long, hard look at your relationship, and try to find which aspects of it could use a little pick-me-up.
Have you been spending less time together? Set up a weekly date night routine to catch up. Is the sex getting boring? Amp up with kink by trying to indulge in each other’s fantasies. Running out of things to talk about? Try out new activities together. There are literally thousands of ways you can keep the spark alive in a relationship! [Read: 10 steps to reignite the lost spark in a relationship]
#8 Be independent. Just because you fell in love with someone, and want to be with them all the time, does not mean you should forget about yourself and the things you enjoy doing. It’s healthy to spend time apart, and you two don’t always have to be into the same things.
No one likes a needy boyfriend or girlfriend. You need to give each other room to breathe and grow outside of the relationship. Keeping your partner in your sights 24/7 will only serve to make them feel smothered, and they’ll be struggling to find a way out… And that usually ends up being in the arms of another.
[Read: 9 important habits you need to be more independent]
There’s no 100% guarantee that these tips will prevent your partner from cheating. After all, if it’s in their nature to cheat, they’ll do it no matter what. But what these tips can do is help you lessen the possibility of getting your heart broken by a cheating partner again. That’ll definitely up the odds a bit, and in a science as unstable as relationships, that’s as good as it gets.
