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How to Know if You are Not in Love Anymore and Are Drifting Apart

Love, as true as it may be, can at times start to fade away. Do you feel like you’re not in love anymore? Keep an eye on these signs to know for sure.

How to Know if You are Not in Love Anymore

Do you feel like love is slipping out of your relationship slowly and you can’t do a thing to stop it? Do you ever feel like you’re not in love anymore, and are slowly drifting away from your partner? Love that is neglected can take on a shade of hate and anger, and eventually take a turn for the worse.

It can be stopped though, but when you reach a stage where you question your own love for someone, you do need a lot of work and effort to bring the romance back in the air.

When both of you are not in love anymore, a relationship that can easily succeed starts to become a burden of frustrations and pain.

Ever find yourself questioning your own relationship and whether you’re doing the right thing by staying a relationship that gives you no joy?

Find out how to know if you are not in love anymore, and make up your mind on the next step towards happiness.

[Read: Falling out of love and how people go through it]

How to know if you are not in love anymore

While the emotion of falling in love is intense and blissful, the emotions of falling out of love can be just as intense. But more often than not, love fades away so slowly that you may not even realize it. BUT along every step of the way, you will find intense emotions that you may not even associate with the signs of falling out of love.

And as time passes, you’d start to see a few of these signs crop up now and then, for no reason at all. So how to know if you are not in love or slowly slipping apart from each other? Well, remember these signs.

#1 Your partner annoys you and you’re not sure why. Your partner may be watching something on Netflix, preparing dinner, or just having a conversation on the phone. It doesn’t matter what they do, but every now and then, you’d just have a sudden urge to scrunch up your face in annoyance or grumble to yourself. You may have no idea why, but the very sight of your partner may start to irritate you. [Read: Annoying boyfriend signs and annoying girlfriend signs]

#2 You’re not excited anymore. At the beginning of a relationship, your eyes light up with happiness when you see your partner or have a fun conversation with them.And now you prefer doing anything but staying around them.

Do you feel restless or bored when you spend time with your partner, or do you look for ways to stay back at work or stay out more often with your own friends? You’d know you’re not in love anymore if your partner just doesn’t excite you anymore. [Read: 15 common reasons why you’re getting bored with your relationship]

#3 You’re only interested in yourself. One of the signs of a happy relationship is the unconditional love that both lovers have for each other.

But as the relationship starts to lose its romance, both partners start to become selfish, be it about sharing food, dressing up well or helping each other grow. When you start to fall out of love, you wouldn’t mind letting your partner suffer as long as it can be advantageous to you. [Read: The clearest signs you’re being really selfish in your relationship]

#4 You’re constantly looking out. You may have a nice time with your partner, and everything may seem perfectly fine on the outside. But in your own mind, are you constantly appreciating beauty and hoping for a chance encounter to cheat on your partner?

You may not be trolling websites or swiping on apps for extramarital affairs, but you’re extra friendly with people you’re attracted to, all the time with the hope of cheating on your partner.

When you consciously try to microcheat on your partner all the time, you’re not in love. You just like the stability of a backup relationship. [Read: Microcheating – What it is and signs you’re unintentionally doing it]

#5 You know you deserve better. If you’re wondering how to know if you are not in love anymore, this is one of the subtle signs that can spell doom in the months to come. You may like your partner and have a great time with them, but deep within, do you truly believe you deserve better?

You may think you’re cleverer, better looking or just too good to be true, but if you’re in a relationship knowing full well that you’d leave your partner the minute someone better walks into your life, really, is that even love? [Read: The love lessons you can learn only from experience]

#6 No together time. One of the main foundations that hold a relationship together is communication and togetherness. Sometimes, as love starts to fade away, both of you may start to spend less time with each other. And eventually, before you know it, weekends and holidays may pass without either of you taking an initiative to spend time with each other.

You may love hanging out with your own friends and having a nice time. But if either of you can’t spend a few hours with each other and don’t really care about communication and togetherness, there’s no hope for the relationship to survive unless both of you take the initiative to come closer. [Read: The signs of indifference in a relationship that predict a real drift]

#7 You’re jealous of your partner. Are you secretly jealous of your partner? A teensy bit of envy is certainly acceptable. After all, if you are going out with an attractive and charming person, you are going to be awed by them now and then. But when the awe and envy turns to green eyed jealousy, the relationship starts to get shaky.

But if you do take that a step further and try to secretly jeopardize their success, it’s better to end the relationship rather than face the bitter consequences.

Do you spend more of your partner’s money when you’re angry with them? Do you purposely keep your partner occupied with other distractions just so they can screw up their presentation the next day? Well, these little acts could seem like a childish way to get back at a partner, but it’s actually a deeper psychological agenda to put down a partner, which in turn can bring both of you down. [Read: How to deal with jealousy in a relationship and overcome it]

#8 You have no respect for your partner. When you lose respect for your partner, you wouldn’t think twice about yelling at them or even scorning them for a small mistake, even when there are others around to bear eyewitness.

When you think your partner’s a loser, a worthless slob or a despicable human, you definitely can’t be in love with them. You’re probably putting up with them only because you don’t want a drastic change in your lifestyle.

You can’t really be in love with someone you don’t respect. It’s as simple as that. [Read: 15 signs of a lack of respect in a relationship that proves you don’t love each other]

Other subtle signs to keep an eye on – Are you out of love?

Here are a few signs that may confuse you into wondering if you are not in love anymore. If you’re experiencing any of these signs in your relationship, it definitely doesn’t mean you aren’t in love. But it does mean you and your partner need to work on your relationship.

#9 You argue a lot. Frequent arguments are a sign of misunderstandings and not loss of love. In fact, as long as the arguments are constructive, it can also help better the relationship. But there are always better ways to understand each other. For starters, it’s called communication.

#10 Don’t have sex anymore. You could jump and bounce off beds like two horny bunnies at the start of the relationship. But as the relationship matures, there is a possibility of losing the sexual enthusiasm. Bring back the desire in bed by recharging those energizer bunnies with sex appeal and whatever else that can turn either of you on. [Read: Don’t want to have sex anymore?]

#11 Not indulging in PDA. When you’re young in love, both of you may be holding hands all the time and pecking each other’s cheeks like birds and bird seeds.

If you had a hard time getting to a room in time at the beginning of your relationship and find that both of you have now lost the urge to get cuddly all the time, it doesn’t mean you don’t love each other. It just means that your love has matured beyond infatuation into something calmer. [Read: 20 ingenious ways to keep a relationship fresh and exciting]

#12 Spending more time with others when you go out. When you both go out, does your partner spend less time talking with you and spends more time with other people, or on their phone?

While this may seem like a sign of falling out of love, your partner may just be excited to socialize with others, or may assume they have nothing interesting to say.

But if this does bother you, make the effort to take the first initiative. Sometimes, both partners end up slacking because neither one sees the other partner making the effort!

[Read: The sign it’s time to break up even if it’s the hardest thing to do]

So where do you see yourself and your partner? Now that you know how to tell if you’re not in love anymore, ask yourself what you intend to do about it. Do you want to work on it? Or would you rather walk away?

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Vinod Srinivas Serai
Vin Serai
Vin Serai is the founder of LovePanky.com, and has delved deep into the working of love and relationships for almost two decades. Having dipped his feet in almo...