Home  >  Love Couch  >  Broken Hearts

23 Secrets to Get Over Someone You See Every Day & Not Lose Your Mind

It’s never easy to get over someone, especially someone you see every day. So how to do it without losing your mind? Let’s find out.

how to get over someone you see every day

Remember when all your friends told you not to date the kid in your sociology class, or when your entire family told you dating the person from the office was a terrible idea? No one likes hearing “I told you so,” but now that you have to see the person who broke your heart every day, you may understand where your loved ones were coming from. Getting over someone you have to see regularly is hard, but we can help. [Read: Broken heart syndrome: The truth to know if you can die from heartbreak]

Dating someone you see every day seems like a great idea right up until the moment you break up. Now you’re forced to see them interact with other people while giving you the stink eye on a daily basis.

Or worse, they start another relationship, and you have to watch it blossom with hateful envy for the next couple of weeks. Basically, it’s the worst.

Getting over someone you love is hard on a good day. Learning how to get over someone you see every day makes your job that much harder. After all, there’s no potential for distance. So, what do you do? Follow these tips on how to get over someone you see every day.

[Read: Loving someone too much: What it means & why and how it’s bad for love]

How long does it take to get over someone you see every day?

It normally takes six months to a year to forget someone you have a crush on, and longer if it’s someone you love. There are no hard and fast rules, but it is unfortunately true that seeing your ex every day slows the healing process.

If you continue to cling to what might have been, you may struggle to move on completely, which is the case for most people who have to see their ex every day. After all, how can you forget about them when they are right there? [Read: 20 real ways to get over being dumped, nurse your ego & find closure]

Why getting over someone you see every day can be difficult

Well, breakups are difficult, but getting over someone you see every day is the hardest. Not only do you have to maintain civility, but you also have to deal with the awkwardness of everyone else knowing you two aren’t together anymore.

When you break up with someone, a therapist would suggest that you avoid the person as much as you can to erase them from your life completely. Follow the no-contact rule and it’ll be easy to get back into your routines without them.

That’s not possible with someone you see every day. It’s difficult because maybe you used to do things together at the office like having lunch breaks. You cannot do that anymore. Having to see them so often will leave you no time and space to heal and start over with someone new.

How to get over someone you see every day

When you’re at home or in the comfort of your inner circle, you feel good. You feel confident that the memory of your ex exists only in a fleeting thought: “LOL. What was I thinking?” That is until you see them at work or school.

Seeing your ex on a daily basis brings back emotional baggage that umbrellas a number of different feelings. You may fall in love with them all over again, or you may want to rip their eyeballs out and stomp on their new iPhone. It all depends on the day.

The point is, seeing your ex on a daily basis isn’t healthy. Here’s how to get over someone you see every day. [Read: When your ex wants you back – 20 steps to decide what’s best for YOU]

1. Acknowledge how you feel and the pain the situation is causing you

You’re meant to experience the grieving process and go through mind-numbing examinations of what went wrong. You’re allowed to feel hurt and guilt and sadness, and you should acknowledge those feelings as real and valid. Just, don’t do it at work.

There are many stages of grieving you go through to get over a breakup. And while publicly humiliating your ex at your shared place of business might seem like one of them, it truly isn’t. This is unprofessional. After all, you don’t want to lose your job as well as your partner, do you? [Read: Dealing with heartbreak – 18 steps to do it the right way]

2. Anticipate the worst

This may sound cynical, but imagining the worst scenarios that might happen between you and your ex may help you decide in advance how to deal with them. From the meager to the mighty, what would you do if these scenarios come up in public?

– You run into your ex in an elevator.
– You get into a fight with your ex at work.
– You have breakup sex with your ex at work.
– You cry over your ex at work.
– You and your ex try and hurt one another emotionally/physically at work.
– Your ex starts dating someone else you see every day.
– Your ex won’t speak to you or acknowledge you in public.

Facing these potential realities gives you the time to consider how to handle them if they come up. Pro tip? Never have breakup sex with your ex, especially not in a public environment. [Read: Sex with your ex – When it’s okay and when you HAVE to stay clear]

3. Keep it professional

You don’t want to be the girl that has a jealous meltdown in the break room, or the guy who sends mean texts right before your ex is about to head into an exam. Okay, maybe you *want* to be that person—but don’t. These things might be temporarily satisfying, but quickly become shameful memories with nasty consequences.

Keep it professional when you’re at work. Your colleagues, boss, and ex all silently thank you for your maturity. [Read: 42 very effective rules to forget someone you once cared for]

4. Look for ways to keep out of each other’s sight

Maybe, eventually, the two of you can be friends. Or at least tolerate working together. But when you are coming fresh off of the breakup, the best thing to do is to steer clear of each other.

Physically move desks at work or in the classroom if possible, and try to stay away from the places you know your ex hangs out. Just put some space between you and them so you can focus on healing and moving on.

5. Don’t make people choose sides

The reality of the situation is that you are going to have to interact with your ex, and so will everyone else. Avoid gossiping about your breakup, and definitely don’t try to make people take sides.

There’s no reason to play the “You’re not allowed to talk to them anymore!” game with the people in your social circle, and especially not your coworkers! Avoid childish gossiping and set the standard for your co-workers or fellow students to follow by being cordial to your ex. [Read:10 most important stages of a breakup & how to get through each of them]

6. Be polite, not friendly

You’re being super cordial with your ex to avoid those awkward silences. You treat them just like you treat the guy who takes a million smoke breaks or the woman who drinks milk every day at lunchtime. Polite, but not too close.

Just make sure you’re not being too cordial. You don’t want anyone to get the idea that you’re still into this person or that you’re being fake-nice. Minimize the amount of time you spend with your ex, and be only polite when you do have to spend time together. [Read: Bumped into your ex? 19 super cool ways to behave like YDGAF!]

7. Look for ways to minimize your interactions with them

You may be tempted to hop on a plane and move to another city or quit your job. But let’s consider the easier options.

Try keeping your interaction to a minimum. Only speak to them when you have to. You can be polite without having small talk whenever you bump into each other while grabbing a coffee.

You can also ask for a work-from-home option to avoid them. Just look for options so you don’t have to see them every day. [Read: Is going anti love the perfect answer to heartbreak?]

8. Change your shift or working schedule

If you really cannot stand seeing your ex every day, consider changing your shift, class, or working schedule. Just don’t be too obvious as to why, you don’t want to come off as petty. Simply request a change because it suits you better.

9. Get an after-work hobby

Let’s face it, your job takes up the majority of your time each day. This makes it that much harder when you now have to spend the majority of your day with someone you’d rather not see again in your lifetime. For this reason, it’s good to find a new hobby that you do every day after work.

This gives you something to look forward to after a long day. It’s also good to know that if you’re having a frustrating day, you’ll be able to blow off steam later.

Join a fitness class, take up archery, or join a sports team. Whatever your fancy, you’ll love knowing there was more to your day than staring at your ex while you work. [Read: Alone time – Why you need it, how it helps & how to make the most of it]

10. Don’t gossip about your ex

When someone breaks your heart, it’s hard to keep it to yourself. Even the calmest, most reasonable person wants to gossip about their nasty ex. After all, they deserve it!

There is a place for this, and it’s at home with your friends. Don’t gossip about your ex at the workplace or in the classroom you both share. Whatever your intentions are for doing so, it will only serve to make you look petty and unprofessional.

11. Go on a vacation

A change of scene may do you good. Going on a vacation is one of the best ways to mend a broken heart. Who knows? Maybe you’ll come back a changed person and be able to see things from a different perspective.

12. Talk to a therapist

Some people believe that you only need to go to a therapist when something truly catastrophic happens, but that is not true. Therapists can help you get through many of life’s hurdles, such as stress at work, moving cities, and even breakups.

A therapist is also a good outlet for these feelings, so you can go to work relaxed and recharged. [Read: Why are women so emotional? 18 reasons they feel deeper than men]

13. Set boundaries

Keep healthy boundaries while trying not to seek help or talk to them. You cannot avoid them completely, but don’t let those work conversations develop into something more. So if they initiate a personal topic, you can refuse to respond or change the subject.

14. Practice self-care

If one person doesn’t love you, you still have yourself. This is the time to focus on your own needs. Work hard for your career goals while rewarding yourself with solo dates or a shopping trip.

Also, try things you couldn’t try when you were in a relationship, like traveling or playing a new sport. It’s time to find your new motivation.

Once you start putting yourself first, that person will slowly become a background character, even when you have to see them every day. [Read: 23 secrets to stand up for yourself in a relationship & know your true worth]

15. Find peace within yourself

If they did something horrible to you, you are allowed to be angry. But there’s no point holding grudges. All these negative emotions you’re feeling will only hurt you more.

You don’t need to forgive and forget, but you need to find peace within yourself. Your relationship ended for a reason, and no matter how painful that reason was, it was for the better. They are history now, and it’s up to you to decide how your future is going to be. [Read: Why do men cheat? 43 honest reasons, excuses & ways to prevent it]

16. Cultivate mental discipline

Over time you can learn to not immediately be angry every time someone brings up your ex.

Mental discipline allows you to gently redirect those angry and resentful thoughts, making it easier to deal with them every day. But this process takes time, so do not be worried when it doesn’t happen right away.

17. Learn how to enjoy being alone

Many people struggle after a breakup because they cannot stand the idea of being alone. Yes, it may be hard at first, especially if you just ended a long-term relationship. But it does get better.

You were fine before them, and you will be fine after them.

18. Focus on the ones who love you

Instead of letting your ex’s existence control your moods and emotions, why not focus on the ones who love you? Talk to your friends and family. Make plans with them. Whenever you feel like talking to your ex, send your best friend a message instead.

Once you’ve realized how much you are loved, you’ll realize that you don’t need a romantic partner to be happy. [Read: Real friends vs fake friends: 21 ways to weed out users & bad ones]

19. Try to change the situation

It may be a little extreme, but if being around your ex all day long stunts your emotional growth, your best bet may be to look for employment elsewhere. You could also ask your super cool boss if you can be transferred.

If going to university with your ex and sitting far away from them in class isn’t enough, try asking your professor to switch you to a night class instead. [Read: How to move on and deal with a breakup with a smile]

20. Find a new crush

This is probably easier than finding a new job. It’s time to put yourself back out there. You don’t have to look for a new relationship if you’re not up for it yet, but meeting new people can get your mind off of the situation.

Or even better, find someone you’re emotionally invested in and get to know them. They’ll distract you from your ex. And who knows, it may develop into something more meaningful. [Read: 24 secrets to talk to your crush & make them fall for you in no time]

21. Don’t rush the process

You’ll find yourself missing them sometimes. You’ll probably get hurt seeing them flirt with someone else. Just as you thought you were getting better, you’re hiding in the toilet crying.

Don’t be too harsh on yourself. Healing isn’t linear, and you’ll fall back to some past grieving stages a few times before you completely move on. Be patient and don’t rush the process. You’ll get there eventually.[Read: The 15 best books to read after a breakup and begin your healing]

22. Do a social media detox

Social media is a great way to connect with people and the world, but it can be extremely harmful to your mental health. Imagine seeing your ex at work and then seeing their photos on your feed as well. Even when they’re not there, you still cannot escape them. This is why a social media detox is necessary.

However, it doesn’t mean you should delete your accounts, unfollow them, or even block them. Just use social media a bit less, at least until you’ve completely moved on. You can also hide their posts from your feed temporarily or turn off the notifications for them.

23. Don’t do it again

Most breakups cause heartache, confusion, anger, discomfort, and a newfound appreciation for overanalyzing situations.

This pain seems to be magnified when you have to continue to see this person every single day. There’s no escape! May this office breakup teach you the important lesson of never starting up a workplace romance again.

What if my ex wants to be friends?

When someone smashes your heart into a thousand pieces, they will often offer friendship as a way to ease the pain. They are often not sincere in their desire for friendship, and are likely offering it to make themselves feel better about dumping you.

Maybe someday you can be friends with your ex, maybe not. But either way, now is not the time. You don’t have to hate them, but you can’t be friends yet either. You need to heal from the situation first.

[Read: What you need to do when a relationship with a coworker ends]

Breakups suck hard on a good day. On a bad day, you still have to work with that person—ouch. No one said it was going to be easy, but with these little steps, you can learn how to get over someone you see every day, slowly and surely.

Liked what you just read? Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, we’ll be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life.

LovePanky icon
Team LovePanky
The editorial team of LovePanky comprises relationship experts and real-life experts that share their experiences and life lessons. If you want the best love ad...