Love is a yellow brick road full of beauty and experiences. But are all the experiences of love full of bliss and romance? Can you ever hate the person you love? Derek Thorp reminisces about his encounter with college romance and a chance meeting with an angel.
We’ve all had our share of college romances. But not all of them are ever pretty. I found myself in the middle of a passionate college love story too.
A flashback of my college romance
It happened five years ago, the moment I had been waiting for. At last, I was a free man. I could not face the harshness of love anymore, but I was afraid.
I was afraid to move on, afraid of whether I would be able to survive in this world of love, cleverly concealed by lies, deceit and revenge.
On the outside, I was happy. But within me, I knew the clock was ticking.
I just didn’t know when my heart would explode. I could take love no more, in fact I loathed the very way it sounded.
Love, yuck, what was that?! Something that just showed me pain and sorrow.
The start of a happy college love story
When it all began for me, it was love for the first time. And well, quite frankly, I was on the yellow brick road.
The flowers bloomed in my path, the butterflies flitted merrily, and the breeze was cool and gentle. And oh yes, the sun was shining with a warmth that I could feel well within the depths of my heart. [Read: How long does it take to fall in love]
We held hands everywhere we walked and explored the “romantic” countryside. She fed me main courses, and I fed her desserts. I skipped along the clouds every now and then and wrote her name in my notebooks and on all my college benches. Even my neighborhood trees weren’t spared. I was so much in ‘love’.
Experiencing college romance through the months
A few months into ‘love’, and I began to see the cracks in the road, as expected, very well concealed under the dry, withered leaves underneath my treading feet. We would hold hands, but only when we felt cold, we stopped going for long, boring drives that just burned my fuel unnecessarily. And well, there was the effect of the scorching sun too. We seldom fed each other, it was a risky deal to have my shirt soiled just because I was too lazy to feed myself, or that’s what she said.
But, definitely we were still so in ‘love’, we used to say the three magical words every now and then. Now, I wonder if we would really mean it or were we just trying to remind each other that we were seeing each other back then.
A few more months passed, and now I could see potholes in my yellow brick road of love that could seriously damage a spine, but I guess I noticed it a wee bit too late.
The gentle breeze was now a howling tempest. For the first time in my life, I was gripped by emotions I had never felt before. I was confused, I was petrified… now I was too scared to stray the path as I was afraid I might get lost. Or worse, find myself face to face with the horrors that were concealed beneath the thick lush foliage.
But I walked on, dodging the ravines within my path, reassuring myself that these were the difficulties that all lovers faced in ‘love’, and I should be proud to walk this path of glory.
The girl in my college romance
This girl I used to see back then was a pretty girl who did have a good fan following behind her. It would never bother me much though.
I was quite a shallow guy back in those days with no interest in feelings, but hey, who wasn’t?
I didn’t quite care whether she flirted with other guys or not, she was my arm candy and I was a happy, shallow man. But ‘love’, they say works in mysterious ways, and this was the time it decided to stab me in the back!
The crack in the yellow brick road of college romance
A few more months passed, and I was slowly but steadily falling out of love. But all of a sudden, one fine day, my heart began to tingle back to life, igniting the fire to my flickering love. This was not supposed to happen, but I was actually falling back in love. I was truly, madly and deeply in love. I started wooing my girlfriend with renewed vigor and a passion that I had never felt before. [Read: How to know if you are in love]
I was a new man with a vendetta against all of her exes, crushes, and her likeable ones too. I began to get suspicious and possessive, though I didn’t realize this back then. I wanted to be by her side at all times. I was in love, what less could I except from myself!
College romance turns to true love
It was quite incomprehensible and depressing at the same time though, for she didn’t experience the same passion that burnt within me. She began to avoid me, and even when we went out with our friends, she would spend more time talking to the others.
I couldn’t understand this, I tried confronting her but she wouldn’t bother to give me a valid reason. There was no more holding hands, it was more like I had to grab her hand if I craved for it. Her usage of the “three magical words” almost came to a standstill.
Now I had lost all sight of the yellow brick road, hell, I couldn’t see anything but red, glowing red, fury that was burning incessantly within me. I was going mad with rage. Questions begin to shower within my mind like painful hailstones in a stormy night… Why would she treat me like this? What made her change? Why do I love someone who treats me like this? I had all the questions, but I couldn’t find the answers however hard I tried. She would not help me understand, she wouldn’t try to.
I was a new man all over again, I had been changing so much over the months I had almost lost all idea of who I was myself. I looked for ways to vent the frustrations in my mind. I was sinking in a quicksand of hate and mindless torture.
I tried avoiding her, but she wouldn’t seem to realize that I wasn’t around, or that’s what she would say. This drove me crazy, but all I could do was vent my anger through helpless tears, in front of all my friends, sometimes during class. A friend of mine introduced me to my first glass of alcohol. It did help for a while, but it just wasn’t enough. Very soon I was drunk in class almost every other day. But the pain was just unbearable.
The other side of love – The pain of romance
I called out for help looking unto the skies. I got no reply. I started hating everything nice, and looked towards music to heal myself. I began to listen to the music a normal person would call “mindless noise”. Now this did help me bring my love at par with the rest of the world. Well, I should have been happy now… but now I hated everything, the whole world just as much as I hated this girl… but I still loved her.
I had lost all memories of what I was, the boy who loved his life. I was an emotional wreck, a drunk and a mess. Love did get me here in just a matter of months… I isolated myself from everyone.
Every time I approached my girlfriend, she shunned me and would spend most of her time with people I never liked, which would make it all the more unbearable. I even contemplated suicide. A year and a half had passed and I was frightened, I was someone I didn’t know. I couldn’t get out of my life, I was trapped in love!
I tried cleaning up my life, but I just didn’t have the strength. I was afraid to face the world by myself, afraid to see her with anyone else. I hated her just as much as I loved her, but didn’t know how to get through the day without seeing her, or listening to her voice.
The end of college romance
Two years passed and I couldn’t bear the pain anymore. At one of our several big fights, I clenched my fists, and in between gritted teeth, hissed “I hate you… I can’t stand you. . I just wish I had never seen you in my life!” Well, she was taken by surprise, it was a rude shock to be dumped by the wreck that I was. Hearing this, without a word she walked away.
I stood there with tears streaming down my cheeks, what had I done? I was not ready for this, but deep within me, the shackles were broken, I was at last… free!
But strangely though, this didn’t make me feel any better, I was still pained by the loneliness. A hollow feeling engulfed me and I was choking in the darkness within. It was all supposed to be over with our break up, that’s what I always knew, but now again, I was wrong… it felt worse. [Read: Obsessing over an ex]
The last pages of a college love story
I joined a few hobby classes, kept myself occupied with old friends, and I began to gym religiously, sometimes twice a day, to fill the emptiness within me. This did help to a certain extent, and I could get a grip over myself as the weeks passed by. I was saddened though, by the fact that this girl didn’t call me or try to make up.
Two months passed, and I was now much better, in my mind, and my physique. Well, I was at the gym for most of the time. I felt good for the first time in two years. I smiled a few times in a day, without much of a strain. I was healing… slowly. But this girl’s thoughts would haunt me all the time. I still hadn’t received a call from her, but now it didn’t bother me very much.
[Read: Is it better to be single or in a relationship?]
I had learnt to accept it, and I felt happy with my own progress. It was like a boy nursing his little bird back to health. I could spread my wings, but I wasn’t ready to fly though, I wasn’t strong enough.
Falling right back into love
Another month passed, and it was another of the perfectly fine mornings that I had failed to notice in the past two years. The sun was bright and I felt good, I felt whole again. That morning, I was at the gym, pounding iron, lost in my own world when something pulled me back into the real world. The view was hazy, it was almost unreal. I could see a form so graceful walk past me, with an intoxicating fragrance that overwhelmed me. I wondered if it was an angel, was I dreaming.
I spun my head so fast that I almost sprained my neck, but it was worth it. The strings binding my joys within myself snapped. I felt something I hadn’t felt for a long time. I stared at the skies. It was a sparkling blue, and it was beautiful. The sun shone brightly on my face, as I wrinkled my eyes and searched across the room.
I saw the angel who had captivated me in an instant. All the pain disappeared and I was smiling to myself. For the first time in over two years, I could smile from my heart.
She was so beautiful, and I couldn’t resist walking towards her, it was more like an invisible force that was drawing me towards her. The path opened out in front of me, and all the clutter in the gym cleared on its own. [Read: Love at first sight]
Finding my brick road of love again
As I took each step, I could sense a cool breeze, and hear the chirping of melodious birds, I was there… This path seemed so familiar, like a sweet dream that I had dreamt many lives before, it was a yellow road… Yes, it was a bright yellow brick road. I loved all the times I had spent on this path, and I seemed to remember it all.
Why hadn’t I been on this path since so long, I didn’t know, I didn’t care… All I cared was about this moment. I wanted to stay here forever. I couldn’t muster up the courage to stand before this angel though. I didn’t know what I had to say, I was all rusty with my conversation starters.
A week passed and by then, we had exchanged a few casual smiles and hellos. I asked her out to lunch, and coyly, she accepted. Our friendship grew, and soon we were having coffees with each other every week. I walked alone on the yellow brick road. I was a happy man, but was I ready to take the plunge? I was still afraid.
I loved her though I wasn’t sure she loved me. I was so happy. Ever since she stepped into my life, it was a bed of roses, and I loved every moment I spent with her. We were friends, and close we were. I laughed from deep within, even for the stupidest jokes she said in her bumbling manner. She was never good at telling a long joke though.
I was happy, really happy. I had never expected to be so happy, after all that I had been through. I had given up on happiness for good until the angel stepped into my life.
Falling in love again
Nine months passed since the day that I first saw the angel, and on one special day, the sun was shining bright again, and the gentle breeze brushed against her cheek and lingered in her locks of hair, and we spent the whole day together laughing and chasing each other around after a game of basketball. Thank God no one saw the game, it was awful, she couldn’t even hold the basketball!
We sat down on the benches beside the basketball court, and laughed and spoke to each other until the sun set and the silvery moon shone bright through the velvet blanket of stars.
A couple of hours after the sunset, I knew what I had to do, it was clear to me from the moment I first saw her. I didn’t have to prepare myself for this moment, I was going to indulge in it. I went down on one knee and I confessed my love for her. She held my hands and accepted it with happy words and loving gestures. [Read: How to propose to your girlfriend]
I was in love again, and this time, we both took the path, hand in hand, along the yellow brick road I loved just as much as I loved the angel. It was like a perfect fairytale. Nine years have passed since the day I first saw the angel, and even now I feel the same way when I look at her, warmth within and a smile on my lips.
Creating a perfect love story
And I couldn’t ask for more, love has come back to show me that it’s not the path we choose that makes all the difference, but the person you share the path with. Even the perfect yellow brick road has its own mysteries and turns, and it’s the ones we choose that make the difference in our lives.
Love never gives up on us, and love will always stay deep within our hearts, waiting to be poured out into this world, with all the warmth it can offer. Nine years ago, I was a wreck who would hate love and anything associated with it, but with all the hate towards love, I listened to my heart only to fall in love again and find the one that I would share the best moments of my life with.
Love is a full circle that repeats itself until one finds the perfect story and finishes it to the end. Love is a feeling that is infused within us, and we need it just like the air we breathe. Love never gives up on us, however much we give up on love.
Love is the meaning to existence, and is the only way we can get through our days with a happy smile and a sweet dream when we lie down. And sweet dreams can’t get any better than the happy yellow brick road of love. [Read: Dating facts]
Don’t give up on college romance or true love. As painful as life can seem at times, even a small thing like a college love story can change your life and fill it with happiness.
