Just because two people are in a relationship doesn’t mean it’s for the right reasons. Are there signs of a relationship of convenience or true love?
People go into relationships for so many reasons. Of course, we all wish to experience genuine feelings of love for each other. Sometimes it’s not the case. People feel lonely and just want to have someone. Other people want the status of having a partner. Do you see signs of a relationship of convenience in your life?
Now, I’m not judging because I think we’ve all had these moments where we just wanted to be with someone without really caring about who the other person was. In high school, I wanted a boyfriend so badly, I didn’t really care who the guy was. I just wanted to know what it would feel like to be with someone. That being said, I didn’t date anyone until I was eighteen.
13 signs of a relationship of convenience
There comes a moment where you have to be real with yourself and dig deep to figure out what you want from your life. Okay, of course, you can date a guy or a girl, it’s not hard finding someone to be with. [Read: How to start living life on your terms]
But you don’t just want anyone. You want someone you connect with, someone you genuinely love and who loves you back. So, I think it’s time to start figuring out if you’re in a relationship for the right reasons or not. In the long run, if you’re just with someone to pass time and vice versa, it’s not worth it.
So, let’s take a look at the signs of a relationship of convenience. That way, you can decide whether or not the relationship you’re in is right for you.
#1 You feel something is off. You know when you love someone. Can I explain the feeling? Good question, it’s a hard one to answer. Okay, yes, there are some scientific things you feel when you’re in love, but on the other hand, you just know that it’s love. One of the clearest signs of a relationship of convenience is that you don’t feel that. You feel an emptiness and that isn’t love. [Read: How to split the casual from real love]
#2 You don’t make each other a priority. Sure, you spend time together, but you’re not going out of your way to see them, and they’re not going out of their way to see you. If you have plans, they may ask you along, they may not. And when it comes to your plans, you don’t change anything to make time to see them.
#3 You have broken up before. You have been on a couple of breaks before and maybe you realized that dating sucks. So, what happens? You get back together again. However, it’s not because you actually miss each other. It’s just because you’re not into dating. You don’t want to be single and have to deal with the small talk. Plus, the sex is regular, so why would you waste that? [Read: Why you shouldn’t invest time in an on-off relationship]
#4 All your friends are taken. Sometimes we feel pressured when all of our friends are in relationships. You and your partner all have friends that are already coupled off, and, well, you being together makes things easier. There’s no scrounging around on a Friday night to find someone to go out with. You don’t have to be a third wheel, everything works out.
#5 There’s no talks about the future. When you’re in love, you are planning your future out together for the next twenty years. That’s what love makes you do, it makes you do crazy things. You don’t even plan what you’re going to eat for dinner though, do you? Marriage? Moving in together? Yeah, those subjects have never even crossed your mind.
#6 You don’t see their family or friends. Well, they don’t see yours either. Basically, you keep your personal lives separate. You don’t see their family, they don’t see your family. If you can avoid a family dinner at their parent’s house, you do so. But why? If it’s love, wouldn’t you want to be next to your partner? Don’t you want to be supportive? [Read: 16 signs you’re clearly not ready for a serious relationship]
#7 Your partner doesn’t go out of their way for you. Mind you, neither do you. You don’t seem to make any sacrifices for each other. And I’m sorry, but when did you ever hear of love not being about sacrifice? If it’s real love, of course, you’re going to make sacrifices!
#8 The relationship isn’t moving. It’s not even moving backward, it’s just not moving anywhere. It has become stagnant. You have a routine, it’s comfortable, but there’s no progress. A relationship that’s healthy should be progressing. There are always moments where the relationship hits a plateau, but for the most part, couples make future plans to keep things going. [Read: The 9 relationship stages all couples go through]
#9 Everything is easy. Too easy. There’s no flirting, no chase, nothing. You give them the bare minimum, they give you the bare minimum. Everyone is just investing the basics into the relationship. This isn’t what you do if you’re serious about someone. If you want someone, you give them everything, not 1%.
#10 You don’t say the three magic words. You don’t tell each other ‘I love you.’ Even though you have been together for a while, those words have never escaped your mouth. Probably because you’ve never thought about your partner like that. You don’t love your partner, if you did, you wouldn’t be able to hold those words in. [Read: When should you say ‘I love you’ for the first time]
#11 There’s no compromise. When you’re in a relationship, there’s a lot of compromising. You and your partner are the exception and manage to not compromise on anything. It sounds great at first, but it’s not. You might as well be single if you’re not willing to compromise. If anything, this just shows that you aren’t in a relationship for the right reasons.
#12 You make your own decisions. And so does your partner. You don’t sit down and talk about things, making decisions together. This is what healthy couples do. They sit down, talk about serious things, and make decisions together. Sure, they may argue along the way, but the point is they’re making decisions together and respecting each other’s feelings. [Read: The signs it’s time to say goodbye – even if it’s hard]
#13 Cheating doesn’t seem so bad. When you hear about people cheating on one another, you don’t feel bad. In the beginning, you would be shocked and saddened. Now, you don’t see it as something bad. And that isn’t a sign of love, that’s a sign you need to move on.
[Read: How to recognize true love when you feel it]
No one wants to see these signs of a relationship of convenience in their life. You want to be with someone because you truly love them, and they love you. So, what’s your relationship status? True love or just something to pass the time?