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How to be Happy in a Relationship – 9 Simple Steps

Learning how to be happy in a relationship sounds easy, but you have to put aside any past baggage first. Nurture your relationship and find true joy! 

how to be happy

Relationships are supposed to be fun, happy, and fulfilling, but it’s surprising how hard it is to tick all of those boxes sometimes. Trials and tribulations arise and past baggage can cause your fears to always be a heartbeat away. However, learning how to be happy in a relationship is something that’s more than worth doing. After all, if you can’t be happy in your relationship, how else are you going to be happy?

If you’re always focused on the negatives, your relationship is going to be a minefield of stress from the start. For sure, relationships make you vulnerable and that can be hard to deal with, but it’s worth it in the end. The good news is, if you’re struggling with the happiness factor in your relationship, these tips will help you to bring a little sunshine into your union. [Read: How to have a healthy relationship – 15 ways to be happier than ever]

Why do so many couples struggle to be happy in a relationship?

Love is supposed to be an all-encompassing, happy and joyful thing, but as we’ve already mentioned, it’s not always that way. Relationship problems are always going to come your way at some point; if you manage to sidestep any relationship issue at all, you’re doing well, or you’re running away from your problems. Issues are normal, but it’s how you overcome them that decides whether you stay together and grow as a couple, or whether you end up going your separate ways.

So, before you learn how to be happy in a relationship, why do so many couples struggle to be happy when they’re in a relationship? Basically, because they allow past troubles to influence their current state of play, and that they don’t appreciate what they have. That may sound harsh, but if you’ve longed for someone to share your life with and then you’re miserable, you have to question why. Sometimes we don’t know what we have until we’ve lost it and that’s a huge issue in relationships. [Read: 20 things happy couples don’t do in a perfect relationship]

Of course, sometimes it’s just that a couple isn’t meant to be. The two aren’t matched well and it causes misery for all parties. In that case, it’s best for all sides to call it quits, but what if that’s not the case? What if you just need a shove in the right direction? Let’s check out some tips on how to increase the happiness factor in your union.

How to be happy in a relationship

You don’t need a lot of money or extravagant gifts and lavish dinners to experience true love and happiness.

All you need to do is understand what really matters in love and how you can bring little changes in your daily interactions with your partner and change your lives. [Read: How to have a good relationship that gets better with each day]

Follow these seven steps, and you’ll see a happy and successful change in your relationship almost instantly.

1. Communicate and understand each other

Remember those first few weeks when both of you were dating each other?

Can you remember all those incessant rounds of questions both of you asked each other to find out about your likes and dislikes? [Read: Lack of communication in a relationship and why it signals the end]

Don’t stop asking those questions.

You may be in love with each other for several years, but as individuals, both of you are constantly changing all the time.

Learn to communicate and ask each other all those first date questions now and then, and try to have an active interest in each other’s lives and pursuits. It’ll help both of you understand each other better and bring both of you closer.

Always remember this. Misunderstandings in love don’t happen when you mishear each other. They happen most when you stop communicating with each other. [Read: How to communicate in a relationship]

2. End every argument as soon as possible

If you want to use these steps to change your life, both of you have to be aware of what it takes to be happy in a relationship. And, both of you have to work towards it. It just can’t be a one-sided effort.

Confusions and petty arguments are at times inevitable even in the happiest of relationships. And it’s fine to have a strong opinion once in a while. But no matter what the little disagreement is about or however angry or upset either of you are, makeup as soon as you can.

And that means no wasting time on huffing, puffing or whining. You may be really angry, but learn to hold your partner’s hand and say “hey, I’m sorry we had a fight. Can we forget about it/talk about it some other time?” [Read: Are relationship fights normal? 15 signs you’re fighting too often

What would work even better is a warm hug after a disagreement. Always understand that no matter what the differences are, both of you are in love with each other. So whatever the issue, end it soon or talk about it when the tension isn’t so thick. That doesn’t mean you side-step real issues that need to be addressed, it just means you don’t linger in the middle of a pointless argument.

3. Be willing to apologize

t times, you may just not want to apologize. You may be convinced that it’s not your fault and you don’t see any reason in humiliating yourself by offering an apology. [Read: How to apologize and say sorry to a lover]

But that’s where you’re wrong.

What are you trying to prove after a fight? That you’re right and your partner is wrong? Why? Why do you have to show off that you’re right? Does it even matter who’s wrong or right when your lover is sad and upset?

In a relationship, there are no winners or losers. There are just happy couples or unhappy ones. If you want to know how to be happy in a relationship, learn to swallow your pride and apologize even if it’s not your fault. It’s for the sake of your relationship. Egos destroy relationships and both partners have to learn to apologize when they’re in the wrong.

Get rid of the ego and you’ll see how successful and happy your relationship can be. [Read: 17 aww-so-sweet ways to genuinely say you’re sorry]

4. Learn to forgive

To err is human… and you know the rest of that quote. All of us make mistakes. In a happy relationship, both partners must learn to forgive each other and not hold on to mistakes and pettiness.

It may be a small mistake or even a huge one, but if you are willing to give your relationship a chance, learn to forgive, forget and move on. Unless, of course, your partner repeats the same act again, which would only mean your partner doesn’t love you or respect you enough to care about your feelings. [Read: Should you forgive and forget? 15 guidelines to follow]

Unless it’s adultery or something just as heartbreaking, voice your opinion and forgive your partner. Holding grudges has never helped any relationship, and it never will.

5. Respect each other as individuals

You may truly love each other, but that doesn’t complete the recipe for a happy relationship. Do you respect your partner and trust them in your time of need? [Read: How to give space in a relationship]

Respecting each other is important for success and happiness in any relationship. You may think your girlfriend is a hottie or you may know that your man’s a brawny hunk. But unless you respect them for their intellectuality and their personality, they’re nothing but your arm candy.

When you respect your lover, it shows that you trust them and can look to them for advice and help when it comes to making important decisions. The mutual respect you share will bring more confidence and happiness into your relationship. [Read: How to show respect in a relationship and love each other better]

6. Look good in each other’s arms

The secret to knowing how to be happy in a relationship isn’t just about each other’s intellectual strength and the ability to compromise for the good of the relationship. Sometimes, happiness and fun in love come from the desire you have for one another.

Does your partner sexually excite you? Do you still excite your partner? Or have either of you let yourselves go, or started dressing down and forgotten to clean yourselves up because it just doesn’t matter anymore? [Read: How to look sexy in bed]

For a relationship to be full of excitement and happiness, learn to never take each other for granted. Always try to impress your lover like you would if it was the first few weeks of the relationship.

Work out, dress well and look good. Win the admiration of your lover and the people around you and your partner will be attracted to you. They’ll desire you more, even if you’ve been together for several years. [Read: What is the right age to get married?]

7. Keep the spark in your sex life

Sex is pretty important in a happy relationship. In almost all relationships, it always starts off with sex every night and starts dwindling down to a few times a week after a few years. Eventually, it drops to having sex once in a few weeks and becomes a luxury.

But does that seem right?

If you met a crush you sexually desire or end up having an affair with someone else, wouldn’t you be banging the bed every night like a horse on heat? You know that sexual desire and fire are within you, so do something about it! [Read: How to spice up your sex life in 30 sexy ways]

You may be bored of seeing the same body parts all the time for years on end. But there are always ways to bring the excitement back into bed. Having an exciting and satisfying sex life is pretty important in understanding how to be happy in a relationship. Discuss your sexual interests with each other and learn to innovate as both of you grow together. And if you do have a few sexually deviant ideas, talk about it.

At the end of the day, love and sex are as unique as the couple in love itself. So stop worrying about what’s taboo and what’s not. As long as both of you love it and it doesn’t bother the people around you, who cares! [Read: 16 mind-blowing ways to spice up your relationship tonight]

8. Let go of past baggage

One of the main reasons for misery in a relationship is a lack of trust. Often that comes down to past issues that haunt the current relationship. Listen, your current partner is not your ex. The situation is totally different. So, if something happened in a past relationship, heal, let it go, and forget.

Allowing past baggage to cause problems in your current relationship will not make you happy. It won’t make your partner happy either. For sure, talk about it and help them to understand, but then make a very strong effort to let it go. [Read: Emotional baggage – How to help someone put it down and find freedom]

It’s the only way to move forward and one of the best ways to learn how to be happy in a relationship.

9. Don’t keep secrets

You don’t have to tell your partner every single thing that enters your brain on a daily basis, but you shouldn’t keep secrets from them either. If something is going on in your life, talk to your partner about it. If you need to spill a secret, do it.

Keeping secrets just causes trust issues. When trust issues arise, nothing good happens. Relationships can be ruined because one partner keeps secrets and it causes the other partner to feel worried all the time. If your partner needs to know about something, tell them. Don’t hide things or keep anything they need to know, to yourself. [Read: Shhh, don’t tell! Secrets you’re allowed to keep in a relationship]

How to be happy in a relationship? Know that it won’t be a bed of roses all the time

Learning how to be happy in a relationship is all very well and good, but don’t be tricked into thinking that you’re going to be smiling 24/7, all the time. Relationships do test us sometimes. They’re meant to because that makes you a better person and a better partner. By communicating with each other and being on the same team, you can work together to overcome anything that is thrown your way.

Don’t assume that it’s all going wrong because you’re having a hard time occasionally. Face it together and work towards a happy and satisfying outcome.

[Read: How to stay in love forever]

Use these steps on how to be happy in a relationship and you’ll see how simple it can be to experience happiness in your union for the rest of your lives.

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The editorial team of LovePanky comprises relationship experts and real-life experts that share their experiences and life lessons. If you want the best love ad...