Relationships are highly about give and take. So when you’re being taken advantage of in a relationship, the relationship can crumble and fall apart.
If you’ve ever been taken advantage of in a relationship, you know exactly how bad it can feel. While no relationship should be perfectly 50/50, your partner should never abuse your kindness and take advantage of the fact you’re always there. People who do this just want to control you or clearly don’t care about you.
They have no remorse on how you keep giving everything, and all they’re doing is taking. While it’s pretty obvious you should never be with someone like this, it’s not always so easy to spot the signs that you’re being taken advantage of in a relationship. [Read: How to know if you are being taken advantage of by people around you]
Why do people take advantage in a relationship?
The world isn’t perfect and no matter how kind or nice you are, some people will continue to use you and take advantage of you. These people will be subtle as you’ll never see it coming – their ability to take advantage of you. But people will take advantage of you when they want to control you, manipulate you, or be above you.
Maybe they got used to your endless kindness, or they just took you for granted that they can’t help but take advantage of you. Even if you try to avoid them, sometimes people will intentionally hurt you in relationships. In fact, at first, you might’ve thought you landed a relationship that’s just too good to be true.
They seem like the perfect and ideal partner until they reveal their true intentions later on in the relationship. Little did you know, it was all a facade to make you fall hard so they could take advantage of your pure and innocent soul. This all sounds harsh, we know, but it happens.
This is why you need to learn the signs that you’re being taken advantage of in a relationship. [Read: Am I being taken for granted? – 16 discreet signs]
20 ways to tell you’re being taken advantage of in a relationship
Anyone can land themselves a person to spend time with and have sex with. But you don’t want that. If you did, you’d look for a casual relationship. For a relationship, you need a partner. This is someone who respects and cares about you. And that… well… that isn’t easy to find.
Better to know now the signs you’re being taken advantage of in a relationship, so you make the changes you need. By changes, we mean dropping them and leaving for good! [Read: 15 signs of a bad relationship you should never ever tolerate]
1. There’s never a thank you
You do a lot for your partner. If they want something specific, you cook it for them. If they’re bored, you take them out and entertain them. You’re like a three-ring circus. But never do they take the time to show you their appreciation by saying “thank you.”
These two words seem simple enough to say, right? Apparently not if you’re being taken advantage of in a relationship. So if they never give their thanks, this is already a red flag. [Read: How to spot the early warning signs that someone is using you]
2. They don’t want to define the relationship
Ouch. If they don’t want to define the relationship, it’s because they don’t want to hold any responsibility. Once you label something, there’s a certain amount of responsibility that goes with it.
Even if you persist in asking them what your relationship is, they’ll deflect or try their best to avoid this question. A label isn’t something they can give because of their real intentions for you. [Read: When to define the relationship: 20 signs it might be right now!]
3. They’re perfect when you’re alone
When it’s just the two of you, they’re an amazing partner. They shower you with attention, they’re funny, the sex is amazing; everything seems to go well. They seem like the perfect too-good-to-be-true partner when you’re alone but completely disregard your existence when with friends or other people.
It’s as if to them, you don’t matter. There’s an instant switch when you’re with other people compared to when you’re just alone. [Read: How to spot selfish people and stop them from hurting you]
4. They have eyes on someone else
Double ouch. It shouldn’t get any more evident than this if you’re looking for signs you’re being taken advantage of in a relationship. Maybe it’s someone from work or a friend, but one thing is for sure, they’re not focused on you. This isn’t innocent flirting. [Read: 16 warning signs your partner is falling in love with someone else]
We’re talking about something more than that. Even if you’ve tried to tell them how you feel, they’ll pass this off as you making things up or being dramatic. They’re basically gaslighting you!
5. They don’t ask for your opinion
If your partner isn’t asking for your opinion on important topics, it’s clear they don’t respect your opinion, or they think they know what you would say.
You don’t have a voice at all in the relationship, and they don’t care about what opinions and thoughts you have to offer. This right here is already an evident sign of disrespect and that you’re being taken advantage of in a relationship. [Read: 15 signs of a lack of respect in a relationship you can’t ignore]
6. They don’t pull their weight
This isn’t the only definition of being taken advantage of, but it’s a pretty big one. Regardless if you live together or not, they’re not doing their fair share. You usually get stuck with the majority of the housework and cooking. They always assume you do things for them.
In other words, you’re lifting the relationship, and everything would probably crumble without you doing the work. Of course, they also never give you a single “thank you” after doing so. The lack of effort on their part shows they’re not concerned about your wellness.
7. They don’t ask for your advice
What’s the point of having a partner if they’re not going to be someone you can seek advice from and vice versa. This is supposed to be one of the closest people in your life, someone who’s your best friend.
This shouldn’t come as a shock to you, though. Since they don’t respect your opinions, they also don’t ask for your advice. Even if there’s an important decision, they don’t hesitate to make it without you. [Read: 16 discreet signs you’re being taken for granted by your partner]
8. They use guilt against you
When you’re not feeling like doing something, rather than respecting your wishes, they use guilt against you. This is because they’re the one calling the shots in the relationship.
Guilt is the one emotion they love using against you just to get what they want. They don’t respect you at all, and they’ll use everything against you. If you’re guilted into doing things you really don’t want to do, that’s not a good sign. [Read: Guilt tripping in a relationship: What it is & how to respond to it]
9. They’re unfaithful
Come on, you know this isn’t a good sign. If your partner is cheating on you, hell, yes, they’re taking advantage of you. They’re taking a huge risk, yet, they feel they’re going to get away with it. If you’ve already forgiven them once and let them get away with their cheating, even better for them.
They know precisely how to manipulate you, even with something as drastic as cheating. Infidelity is one of the most significant signs that they don’t respect you as a person or partner. [Read: What is cheating in a relationship? The truth most people ignore]
10. They make plans without you
Just like they make decisions without you, they also make plans without you. Summer vacation is coming up, and they already booked a trip to Mexico with their friends. Oops. They forgot to let you know. They don’t care about being your partner or best friend, but they only care if they benefit something from you.
So if they don’t tend to include you in their plans, it’s a huge indicator that you’re being taken advantage of in a relationship. They didn’t ask you if you wanted to come and just assumed you’d be cool with the plan. Now, doesn’t that just suck? [Read: 14 common reasons why relationships fail so often]
11. They’re not romantic
Some people naturally aren’t romantic, and that’s okay. But usually, they will try extra hard when it comes to impressing their partner. Your partner simply doesn’t try at all. They don’t care about making you feel loved or meeting your halfway. Even if they know that being romantic is important to you, they still don’t bother.
12. They don’t care about your feelings
They invite people over when you’re sick or travel with friends on your birthday. See, they know these decisions will upset you, yet, they still do them. That’s the problem. They’re incapable of considering your feelings, and they don’t care how their actions affect you at all.
They make it a point to invalidate your feelings the best way they know how to, and this is one of the signs you’re being taken advantage of in a relationship. [Read: Are you in a relationship with a narcissist?]
13. They’re not consistent
You feel like your home is a hotel for them. They do whatever they feel like, whether you like it or not. They come over, maybe stay the night, maybe not. And they don’t really ask you if it’s okay. Inconsistency is one of the obvious red flags you’re being taken advantage of.
You never know what to expect when it comes to them. One minute they act this way and the next, it’s the complete opposite. They’re unreliable, inconsistent, and give all sorts of signals that confuse you further.
14. You feel like you should try more
When someone takes advantage of you, it’s crazy how we strive even harder for their attention, affection, and love. You surprise them with a home cooked meal or buy the shirt they really wanted. It’s obvious you’re being taken advantage of in a relationship if you chase after them harder.
You make all these romantic gestures for them, and they never appreciate a single one. The fact that you’re trying more just proves that there’s a clear imbalance in the relationship, and they’re taking advantage of your efforts. [Read: Relationship rules: 30 must-know tips to live your best love life!]
15. They don’t care what you do
It’s normal for your partner to ask, “How was your day?” It’s a simple question but shows their interest in knowing how your day went. If your partner isn’t asking about what you did, it shows a lack of care for you.
When someone doesn’t ask how you are or even the little details of your day, they’re taking advantage of you. They’re too focused on their own life that they no longer have the energy to ask you how you’re doing. [Read: What to do when something doesn’t feel right in your relationship]
16. You feel used
It doesn’t get any more real than this, does it? The fact you feel used means you should listen to your gut and believe it. The other signs are important, but if you feel that you’re being used, well, there’s your answer.
Don’t disregard this gut feeling, as you’ll regret not doing so later on. [Read: 12 signs of love bombing not to be confused with real love]
17. They make you feel insecure
When someone is intentionally taking advantage of you, they bring out your worst. If you’re already suffering from low self-esteem, they’ll bring this down further until you’re on the verge of breaking. While it’s easy to blame this on yourself, ask yourself if they ever did anything to support you or help your self-esteem?
If several factors in your relationship triggered your insecurities, such as their basic lack of respect or cheating, there’s your answer. Who wouldn’t feel insecure when being cheated on by their partner?
18. They emotionally manipulate you
Have you noticed signs of gaslighting or manipulation from them? Maybe they constantly play the victim, or they get you to admit it was your fault, even if it was theirs. The fact that they’re gaslighting you means that you’re being taken advantage of in a relationship.
Emotional manipulation is not a joke, and it will only be done if your partner doesn’t respect or care about you. It’s probably why they feel no remorse at all for manipulating you. [Read: Emotional manipulation: 14 ways people mess with your mind]
19. Physical intimacy has changed
There should be a perfect balance of three aspects – emotional, mental, and physical intimacy in a relationship. There’s no perfect, but your partner should try their best to provide you with these the best way they can. However, being taken advantage of means only focusing on the sex without any emotional or mental intimacy.
They willingly have sex with you even without emotions involved, and that’s the definitive proof they don’t care about your feelings. Only when it benefits them will they give you what you want.
20. You’re not a priority
We know how much this hurts to hear, but it’s the truth. When they’re taking advantage of you, then you’re not a priority. In fact, you’re not even in their top priorities.
They put their friends, their social life, and their careers above you without thinking of you. This is also why they never invite you to their plans, and they make decisions without you – because you’re not a priority.
[Read: The right priority in your relationship: How to find & focus on it]
So, how do you deal with being taken advantage of?
There’s no other option but to leave them for good. You don’t deserve someone who treats you like crap and has no remorse for their actions. This isn’t a partner you have, but someone who just wants to manipulate and control you every chance they get. You need to leave them before you lose yourself in the relationship.
No one wants to see these signs of being taken advantage of in a relationship. While it sucks, at least now you can spot the signs better when someone isn’t treating you right.
