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Am I Ready for a Relationship? 17 Honest Questions to Ask Yourself

If you’re wondering, am I ready for a relationship, you need to ask yourself a few questions. After all, you shouldn’t be dating for the wrong reasons!

am i ready for a relationship

There are a lot of people out there who an ex-lover has badly hurt. They put their heart out on the line, and unfortunately, they got burned. Most of us have been there before. So asking yourself, am I ready for a relationship, that’s an important question no matter how you see it!

You can’t just get in a relationship because you assume that’s what you should do because everyone else is doing it. You should do it because you’re finally ready.

Dating someone is a serious part of your life and if you get just your dating life wrong, this can impact other areas of your life. So we’re not exaggerating when we say that being ready for a relationship is crucial.

The hardest thing for those whose heart has been stomped on is getting back into a relationship. We’re all hesitant and reluctant to do so because we don’t want to be hurt again—for obvious reasons. Seriously, who on earth enjoys going through that trauma over and over again?

[Read: 19 clear signs you are ready for a serious relationship]

The importance of mending a broken heart before getting into a relationship

You should never go into a new relationship with a broken heart. It may seem like the new person can heal it for you. But in reality, you only prolong mending it, which actually means it’ll take longer to fix.

Repairing your broken heart should always be a priority before going into a new relationship because you can’t expect your new boyfriend or girlfriend to fix it. That’s way too much pressure on them, and you’ll ultimately ruin the relationship from the start.

You will always end up projecting your heartbreak and issues onto someone if you get into a relationship before you’re even ready. So asking yourself, am I ready for a relationship, is the mature thing to do – for yourself, and for any chance of a successful relationship with someone else.

You’re allowing yourself first to assess if you’ve healed and if you’re prepared before investing your time and energy yet again into someone else. [Read: How to mend a broken heart and find happiness in life again]

Why should you be ready first?

First of all, it’s unfair to the other person who genuinely likes you if you’re not ready. You could be getting their hopes up for a committed relationship, but chances are, that won’t happen because you’re not mentally prepared. And even if you do push getting serious with them, you won’t be giving them your all.

Your connection and affection will be divided, all because you’re still in love with someone else. Second, it will further damage all the issues you’re still trying to heal from when you get into a relationship way too fast.

If you want to have a thriving and healthy relationship with someone eventually, you need first to ask if you’re ready. [Read: Starting a new relationship? Your checklist to a happy romance]

Am I ready for a relationship?

Before you decide the answer to this question, discover a few things about yourself first. It can be easy to jump to a different conclusion based on how you’re feeling in the moment. Take some time to decide if it’s right for you.

If you’re thinking about whether or not you’re ready for a relationship, there are a lot of different factors you have to consider. Here are all the things to discover for yourself before determining if you’re ready to make another commitment.

1. Are you over your ex?

This question hits a lot of us like a ton of bricks because, usually, we try to suppress all feelings and desires for our ex. We prefer to keep our feelings for them buried deep inside. We never really like to admit if we’re over our ex or not, but it’s essential to ask ourselves if we’re ready.

If you really want to know if you’re prepared for a relationship, explore if you’re over your ex. You can’t start a new relationship when you still have feelings for someone else.

Are you really sure your heart no longer screams to be with them? Remember that by lying to this question, you’re really only lying to yourself – and the same goes for all the following questions. [Read: How to get over an ex – 17 steps to heal ASAP in the healthiest way]

2. Are you just bored?

Many people make the mistake of thinking they want a relationship when really they’re just super bored with their life and want some entertainment.

If you’re bored, just travel or have a weekend getaway with your friends – don’t go jumping in another relationship! Newsflash, another human being isn’t for your entertainment.

You have to find out if you’re bored with your life and that’s why you’re thinking about seeking out another relationship. If you’re just bored, don’t get into a relationship. That’s not what a relationship is for, because what happens if you also get bored in your relationship? [Read: 20 sure signs you’re ready for a relationship or totally unprepared]

3. Do you do things for yourself?

Many people might think this question is strange to ask yourself, but it’s not if you think about it. How much do you do for yourself? Do you take care of yourself, eat healthy, work out, have a stimulating hobby, read books? If the answer to those is no, then you’re not ready for a relationship.

How can you work to improve someone else’s life when you haven’t even done so with yourself? The general rule of thumb is that you should know how to take care of yourself first before taking care of someone else. So if you’re asking, am I ready for a relationship, assess if you’re giving yourself the care and love you deserve. If you aren’t capable of living on your own, you’ll only end up getting into an unhealthy codependent relationship where both of you would be unhappy. [Read: Am I codependent? 14 signs you’re clingy and overstepping boundaries]

4. Do you know what went wrong in your last relationship?

Discovering the core problem in your last relationship and where things went south helps determine if you’re ready for a new relationship. If you don’t know what it is, you need more time to figure it out to avoid those issues in your future relationships. Otherwise, you’ll just be repeating the cycle, and history will repeat itself.

For instance, if you had a toxic relationship before, being aware of the red flags early on can benefit you. If you know exactly what went wrong, you’re a step closer to being ready for another relationship. [Read: Self-discovery after a breakup – How to happily move on]

5. Do you have any fun hobbies?

Hobbies are vital for people to function and be happy. If you’ve just determined you don’t really have any hobbies that make you feel alive, you’re not ready for a relationship. You need to have something that involves you and catches your interest before seeking that out in another person.

Without any fun hobbies, you will end up burying yourself in the person you date, which puts a lot of pressure on them. Not to mention, it’s far from healthy. So hit the gym, work on your art, take pictures! If you’re asking, am I ready for a relationship, have some fun hobbies first before you get into one.

6. Did you learn anything from your last relationship?

Every failed relationship has a lesson underneath the surface. Sometimes those lessons are all the same thing. You have to discover what you learned from your previous relationship before entering into a new one. You need to have learned something in your past relationships if you’re going to be ready.

Otherwise, as we’ve already mentioned earlier, you will repeat a similar cycle *especially if your past relationships tend to be a sabotaging cycle*. So this is a crucial aspect if you’re asking – am I ready for a relationship? [Read: Things you can learn from a failed relationship – 17 valued lessons]

7. Are you happy by yourself?

Are you happy with your life and with who you are right at this moment? If you answered no, then you’re not ready for a relationship. You have to be happy by yourself before you can expect to find happiness with someone else. Being happy by yourself is probably the most critical in this list.

You need to be capable of being on your own without feeling lonely or depressed. If you can’t manage that, you’re just not ready yet. You might end up depending on your partner for your happiness, and that’s not a way to live. [Read: How to be emotionally independent and stop using others to find happiness]

8. Are you looking for someone to make you happy?

Is your whole purpose for deciding if you’re ready for a new relationship to cheer yourself up or just to make yourself happy in general? If so, then you are REALLY not ready for a relationship. Being in a relationship isn’t to make you happy. If you think it is, you have a long way to go before you’re ready.

This is kind of similar to the previous sign we just discussed. If you’re looking for someone to make you happy, you won’t find it by getting in a relationship. Trust us; a relationship never ends well if this is your reason for getting into one. [Read: Emotional dependency & signs you’re overly dependent on someone]

9. Did something dramatic just happen in your life?

Sometimes, when something dramatic happens in our lives, we reevaluate things and make drastic decisions. If something rather serious has happened to you lately, you’re not ready for a new relationship. If one dramatic thing happened, it’s likely more will soon follow.

It also means you’re not in a clear mindset because those types of things sometimes rattle us. Wait it out. So if a significant change or situation occurs in your life, don’t be impulsive and get into a relationship.

Your partner isn’t going to solve your dramatic situation, you know? You might end up regretting this because you got in a relationship for the wrong reason, and now you have more problems to worry about!

10. Do you know who you are?

We realize this is a heavily loaded question, but it is necessary to decipher whether or not you’re ready for a relationship. Truthfully speaking, do you know who you are as a person? Do you know what you want in life? What your morals and values are?

If you’re asking, am I ready for a relationship, knowing who you are and who you aren’t is a big part of this. You will regret getting into a relationship if you’re still trying to find yourself. Really, if you don’t know who you are, how can you expect to find someone compatible or even love someone else the way they deserve?

These are all vital things to know about yourself before beginning a life with someone else. Without knowing these, you can’t expect that someone else will be able to know them either. [Read: Don’t stay stuck – 16 strategies to get your shit together]

11. Do you know why you want a relationship?

Have you sat down and asked yourself about your recent curiosity with whether or not you’re ready for a new relationship? If you haven’t yet, just ponder that. Is it because it’s expected of you? Is it because you now feel complete in your own life and want to share it with someone?

Depending on the answer, you could be ready for a relationship. So make sure you know your motivation for getting into a relationship. If it’s just to fill up a void in your life, you’re definitely not ready for a relationship. [Read: Commitment phobia – 15 signs you’re just not ready to commit]

12. Do you have time to invest in a relationship?

Relationships are no joke, and they take time to make them work properly. Too many relationships go sour because one person doesn’t have the time needed to invest in a relationship. So if you’re asking, am I ready for a relationship, you need to have the time and energy to invest in someone else.

If you’re currently in the phase in your life where you’re prioritizing maybe your career too much or something else that leaves no time for someone else in the picture, it’s possible you’re not yet ready.

How can you expect to make a relationship work out healthily if you’re always on the go? Decide if you’re prepared to spend a lot of your free time with someone else before deciding if you’re actually ready for a relationship. [Read: Are you ready to be emotionally invested? 18 things to consider before going all in]

13. Do you know how to communicate your feelings?

Knowing how to communicate your feelings is an integral part if you’re asking the question – am I ready for a relationship? Communication is the most critical part of any relationship.

If you don’t know how to properly express your emotions and thoughts without attacking someone else or letting your anger consume you, you’re not ready for a relationship. So many people make the mistake of getting into a relationship when they don’t even know how to communicate properly.

You can’t expect your partner to adjust for you, but it’s you who’s going to have to understand how to express feelings adequately. [Read: How to communicate in a relationship – 16 steps to a better love]

14. Do you have your priorities straight?

It’s important that you have your priorities straight before you get into a relationship. If your current focus is having fun and going to parties, or you’re too focused on your career that it leaves no room for your partner, that’s going to be a problem.

It’s important you have both the maturity and time for each other – that’s how you know you’re ready. Without having your priorities straight, your relationship will never work out. How will things work out if your partner has their priorities straight and you don’t? [Read: The right priority in your relationship – How to find & focus on it]

15. Can you be selfless and generous?

Relationships require a balance of give and take. If you’re selfish, your partner will resent you for it, and your relationship won’t work. So if you’re asking, am I ready for a relationship, you need to be capable of selflessness and generosity.

You have to know how to meet them halfway and consider their needs and wants, just like they consider yours. Without a sense of selflessness, your relationship will fail, and your partner will get frustrated with you. So if you’re someone who can’t think of others or give way for others, work on that first before finding a relationship. [Read: 15 signs of a taker in a relationship – Are you a giver or taker?]

16. Have you healed from any trauma?

Trauma is quite probably the one critical aspect if you want to know if you’re ready or not for love. We’re not just talking about trauma from an ex, but trauma from any past events, childhood, or even family.

You’ll only be ready for a relationship if you no longer break every time you remember your trauma or aren’t held back by them. Otherwise, it’ll be so easy to project those issues onto your partner. [Read: 19 signs of emotional damage and ways to get past them]

17. Are you fully capable of a long-term relationship?

If you’re asking the question, am I ready for a relationship, you need to be capable of a long-term relationship. You’re not just getting into a relationship without a purpose or goal, but you’re doing it because you want to work for the long-term eventually.

Otherwise, you will both get hurt because you pursued a relationship without intentions for anything long-term. So before you jump into another relationship, really ask yourself if you’re capable.

[Read: How to have a long term relationship that lasts]

So, are you ready for a relationship?

These questions can help you find the answer you’re looking for if you’re ready to get in a relationship or not.

Just make sure that you’re doing it for all the right reasons because if you are, why not? That’s your cue that you’re ready to invest in someone else and have a happy dating life!

Asking yourself, am I ready for a relationship, is one of the most important things you decide about yourself. You’re the only one who can know for sure if you’re ready or not, so be honest. 

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