Simple Peck or Steamy Makeout? What You Can Learn from a First Kiss

Kissing is a stepping stone to the vibe and intimacy of the relationship, so, knowing what you can learn from a first kiss is important.

What You Can Learn from a First Kiss

From the nerves before your first kiss to the moment you’re all over each other on the sofa, and each second in between. What you can learn from a first kiss is everything you need to know about your chemistry with this new person.

Picture it. Your date is coming to a close, and you hold hands leaving the restaurant. Are your palms sweaty? How is your garlic breath? You’re regretting ordering so much cheese in your entree at dinner. They walked you to your door.

Now what? Are they going to kiss you? Are you going to kiss them? What if they’re a bad kisser? What if you’re a bad kisser? Or what if the kiss is perfect? Are you going to invite them in?

[Read: Kissing chemistry 101: How to kiss someone for the first time]

The importance of a first kiss

Before you go wondering what you can learn from a first kiss, remember that the first kiss is sort of the foundation of a new relationship. It is the jumping off point where the rest of your physical relationship will grow from. The first kiss with a new person is a sign of trust and intrigue. It can also be the introduction to what could become a sexual relationship.

This moment tells you a lot about your feelings, your kissing partner’s feelings, and even their personality.

The first kiss can also change things. I once went on a lovely first date, but at the end of the evening he kissed me. It told me everything I needed to know. I was not interested in him romantically. It wasn’t that the kiss was awful, but there was no emotion behind it. On top of that, he kissed me without warning or even mutual desire, so it was a big red flag for me. [Read: When to kiss a girl – 15 subtle signs to predict the magic moment]

The first kiss with someone new may seem like a hurdle to cross. You may think it is awkward and even sweet, then it passes. Although that can be true, the first kiss is often a foreshadowing of what’s to come.

You definitely shouldn’t overlook all you can learn from a first kiss. [Read: 10 major first kiss red flags you should never ignore]

What you can learn from a first kiss

A first kiss can give you a lot of insight into this person, your potential relationship, and even red flags.

#1 A bad kiss. If you’re not really feeling your first kiss but give it a second chance and the make out also goes downhill, there’s a good chance even the best make-out coaching can’t fix a lack of sexual chemistry.

It is not easy to manufacture a spark with someone. Usually, if it’s not there it won’t be. In this case, you’re probably better off as friends, and not the kind with benefits. But, more often than not, when there is sexual tension you know it and feel it, big time. [Read: 13 lusty signs of attraction to keep an eye on]

#2 A nervous kiss. If your heart starts to race as soon as you see them and sitting across the table from each other just feels too far away, you know there’s something there. But then comes the end of the night, they made it to the door and then maybe past the threshold.

You’re getting closer and closer to each other on the couch. They graze your thigh, maybe brush your hair off your face, or kiss your neck.

If all these things make you feel like you’re getting goosebumps and are out of breath, but in an amazingly indescribable way, there’s a good chance that feeling will make it past the couch and into the bedroom. [Read: 15 first kiss secrets to make it memorable]

#3 An awkward kiss. Sometimes the nerves of being with someone new can make things a bit awkward. You don’t know what they like and they don’t know what you like.

It may seem intimidating to share such intimate details with someone new, but your physical and even verbal responses to the first kiss can tell you more about your compatibility than you might think.

#4 A fiery kiss. Right from the start, you can often feel the chemistry with someone. Sparks will fly! You feel the connection without even being able to describe it. This doesn’t necessarily mean you are crazy attracted to them or that you have the potential for a long lasting romance, but it signifies a deeper connection.

Pay attention for someone that notices your responses to their most faint movements and reacts with that in mind. They are likely to be more in sync with you and be more generous. These things may be easier to pick up on if there is mutual chemistry. [Read: Should you be kissing on the first date?]

#5 A cautious kiss. If they wait for your “okay” before taking things to the next level, they will probably be more gentle and caring. Someone that asks for your consent or takes things slowly may be more in tune with your feelings or nerves.

They may also be shy or hesitant to be rejected, but someone being cautious about making this first move isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

#6 An aggressive kiss. Kisses that start out nice and sweet can go south really fast. Now, if they take the lead and are bolder, that could show confidence which is always nice. It could also indicate a selfish side.

Someone that isn’t looking out for how you’re reacting to their advances could be clueless or cocky. They may think they are entitled to something. If you’re wondering what you can learn from a first kiss with someone who’s too self-absorbed, you’ll realize that it’s easy to catch this trait within a few seconds. Instead of a soft kiss, they may go all in with tongue and power right off the bat.

Be on the lookout for red flags like someone who may be too aggressive. Also, pick up on the more subtle nuances of a first kiss. Things, like putting a stand of hair behind your ear, or holding onto your waist may feel right with someone and wrong with another. [Read: The bad first date signs reveal a total lack of chemistry]

The mechanics of a first kiss

Do they run their fingers through your hair? Or gently rub your back? Do they follow your lead and correspond to your movements or try to run the show themselves? Do you find yourself leaning into them or pulling back as they lean in?

All of these details carry over to what may or may not come after a steamy make-out session. So whether you prefer a gentler touch or someone a bit more passionate, listen to what your body is telling you.

If you’re thinking about the dirty dishes in the sink instead of your urge to wrap your legs around this person, chances are the sex will be pretty bland. But if you can’t help but breathe heavy and your mind is blank except for the feeling of anticipation for what’s to come, the sex is likely to amplify those feelings, and hopefully lead to a sexual euphoria.

[Read: These instant signs of chemistry reveal a connection that’ll blow your mind]

Figuring out what you can learn from a first kiss will help you navigate the dating world whether you are just hanging out or looking for your soulmate. Just pay attention to the signs!

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Samantha Ann
My name is Samantha Ann. I am 28 years old. It was always my dream to become an advice columnist, so after years of off and online dating and eventually finding...