Do you often have FOMO or the fear of missing out on life whenever you’re in a relationship? Here’s how to combat the dreaded FOMO!
The grass is always greener on the other side, or so we think. Just because we think something, doesn’t make it true. You may think you’re missing out on something because you’re in a relationship, but that doesn’t mean that you actually are.
It’s important to ask yourself what you’re missing out on when it comes to feelings of FOMO. Do you feel like you’re missing out on the attention of other potential partners? Do you feel like you’re missing out on activities with your friends? Maybe you feel like you’re missing out on career opportunities because of the time you invest in your relationship?
How to counter the fear of missing out
When you feel like you’re missing out on what life has to offer, try these methods of battling the dreaded fear of missing out.
#1 Plan activities. One way to avoid FOMO in your relationship is by making plans. If you always have something to look forward to, the downtimes you have in between planned activities don’t seem so bad. In fact, sometimes, you end up looking forward to the downtime!
For example, make a plan to go see your favorite band playing, or to go see a play once a month. Having something to do, even if it’s just once a month, will definitely help you realize very quickly that you’re not missing out at all.
#2 Don’t push your friends to the side. Just because you are in a relationship, doesn’t mean you can’t hang out with your friends. So many times, we tend to brush our friends to the side when in a relationship, which is wrong. I’m not saying you have to call or text every day, but if it’s a good friend, you should at least check in once a week or so.
If your friends don’t want to hang out with you because they don’t want to be the “third wheel” or if they never want to talk to you on the phone because they don’t care to hear about your relationship, then guess what? They aren’t good friends in the first place. If they brush you to the side, that’s an issue they need to figure out on their own. But either way, don’t be the one doing the brushing.
#3 Stay active. Along with making plans, it’s important to keep active. Being active and living a healthy lifestyle is important for your health and wellbeing. We all know that exercise releases endorphins and endorphins make you happy. And when you’re happy, how could you possibly have FOMO?
Sure, your yoga sessions or marathon training schedules may clash with road trips or reunions with your friends, but in the end, you can always reschedule road trips, but you should never put a healthy lifestyle on hold. [Read: 25 tips to motivate you to work out]
#4 Double date. Another great way to botch relationship FOMO is by surrounding yourself with other couples. Double dating is a great way to immerse yourself with people, go out to town, and have those experiences of going out and whatever else that you thought you had lost.
You may not be getting hit on left and right after midnight or getting blackout drunk, but you’ll probably realize that you don’t miss it. In fact, you’ll realize how lucky you are that you’ve found someone to spend those weekend nights with. You’ll also remember just how exhausting the single party lifestyle was and be grateful you no longer have to go out to get all cozy with a stranger. [Read: Double date ideas to make nights out more fun]
#5 Make time for yourself. It’s important to keep true to yourself and do things that make you happy on the inside. It’s never healthy to be around your partner 24/7, as this can cause you to get sick of each other easily. Instead, find something to do that doesn’t involve your partner, such as heading out to the library, indulging in a hobby, or doing yoga.
Not only will you give each other space in a relationship, but you’ll also be able to do things that you enjoy.
#6 Social media vs. reality. Social media has magnified the reality of just how much our society seeks approval and attention. But social media is not reality. We constantly seek approval, which we base upon however many likes, comments, and followers we get.
Social media allows all of us to brag about what we are doing *or what we want people to think we are doing*. And that’s exactly why people always post the most interesting events that are happening in their lives. But do you seriously think that their lives are as fun-filled and colorful as they portray?
The reason social media intensifies FOMO is because we always want to have what other people seem to have. But in reality, these people also have boring days where there’s nothing interesting to post about. They’re probably hoping to do something more fun, just like you! [Read: 8 ways social media is killing your relationship]
#7 Make mental notes. A great way to shake your FOMO is by making mental notes of all the negative things your friends tell you about their dating life and being single. The next time you hang out with your friends, or lend your ear to let them vent about being single and dating, make sure you really listen.
Listen to everything they say. You’ll probably start to take notice that the good things in your life and relationship far outweigh the bad, and secretly be thankful you’re not going through the dreaded motions of first dates, online dating flirtations, and messy breakups with flings. It’s amazing what you can learn when you truly allow yourself to listen.
The thing about FOMO is that it’s all about perspective. You always want what you think other people have, but you don’t always consider the downsides to what they’re going through. From time to time, yes, it’s okay to wonder about what it’s like to be single, to travel with friends, to meet a hot stranger, and whatever else FOMO-sufferers think about.
But take it from me when I say that it’s all about the hype. You’re not really missing out if you’re in a healthy relationship with someone who loves and adores you.
FOMO affects all of us, whether we’re single, in a relationship, or somewhere in between. Learn to combat it by looking at the bright side of what you have!