In a long term relationship, you’ll start feeling so comfy with each other that there’s no longer such a thing as “single behavior.” Everything goes.
Remember your single days when you used to sit in your apartment in your ugliest t-shirt, eat ice cream straight from the tub, and spend all weekend gorging on Netflix?
Now that you’re in a relationship, you find yourselves alone in your apartment in your ugliest t-shirts, eating ice cream straight from the tub, and spending all weekend gorging on Netflix. What was deemed “single behavior” in the past no longer applies now that you’re in a stable, loving, long term relationship.
So what exactly is “single behavior?”
Just like the example above, “single behavior” is how you behave when you’re alone and there’s no one else around to interrupt you. They are made up of the dirty, disgusting, and despicable things that you do alone under the cover of absolute privacy. Whether it’s braiding your pubes for fun or snacking on an entire tray of brownies at 3am, you know better than anyone else what your “single behavior” comprises of.
Every long term couple will tell you that over time, things will evolve from big city glamor to redneck casual. There’s no hiding from the fact that the longer you’re with someone, the walls start coming down and before you know it, you’ll be stripped bare and deep in your comfort zones. [Read: 10 relationship milestones and when they usually happen]
Some people look at this as a bad thing. They say that not drawing the line between what’s acceptable and what’s not will push the relationship over the edge and break it. The same people go on and on about losing your individualism, independence, and maturity.
Is there really such a thing as being too comfortable with each other?
In my humble opinion, there is no such thing as getting too comfortable with the person you’re with. If you can both be yourselves without the need to set up any boundaries and to put on a show, more power to you. Just remember to inject some effort and romance every so often, and your relationship will be sure to stand the test of time and prove those uptight critics wrong.
What does it mean to be too comfortable in a relationship?
Of course, this is very subjective, so depending on the type of couple you are, here are 14 signs that you may just be getting too comfortable with each other.
#1 Zero modesty. It’s nakedness galore at home, and you can chat, fight, and eat sans clothing, all this without feeling self-conscious. If you can also pick your nose, burp, and fart in front of one another without feeling any remorse, then you are certainly comfortable with each other.
#2 You put on weight. There’s nothing wrong with gaining a few pounds, and in fact, it’s completely normal for people to do so once they get comfortable in a relationship. Affectionately known as the “love fat,” if you let yourself go without a care in the world, you are definitely too comfortable with one another.
Be sure to do something about it because you don’t want your partner to look at you one day and not remember the svelte youngling that you were years ago. [Read: Should I speak up about my partner gaining weight?]
#3 Looking fresh is for amateurs. If your privates look like a rainforest, and you’ve forgotten what a razor looks like, then you’re getting way too comfortable with each other. Don’t forgo hygiene just because you’ve found someone who loves you au naturale. There’s nothing wrong with keeping your wax appointments, and neither is there anything wrong with making sure that your pits are deodorized. Make the effort to look and feel good for one another because there’s no one more worthy than your partner to see your best side. [Read: At-home bikini waxing – A complete guide for beginners]
#4 Incomprehensible conversations. Another sign that you’re getting too comfortable with one another is when your conversations are totally incomprehensible to anyone but you. Long term couples somehow miraculously make up their own language that consists of codes, lingo, and inside jokes. Knock yourselves out when you’re together but be sure to turn this off when you’re around other people. [Read: 12 things happy couples talk about to feel closer]
#5 The bathroom door is never shut. Need to take a poop? No problem. Need the sharp glare of the bathroom light to remove those pesky ingrown hairs? Sure thing. It doesn’t matter that these acts should be done behind closed doors. If you find yourself doing these and more with your partner walking in and out, then you’re certainly getting very comfortable with each other.
I personally don’t see anything wrong with this, but there’s really no harm in setting a couple of boundaries. Plus, it’s advisable to shut the door while you’re taking a poop to avoid stinking up the whole apartment! [Read: 13 unique ways to build intimacy in your relationship]
#6 The sex is more comfortable. Another sign that you’re getting comfortable with one another is when you notice that the sex is starting to get very predictable. I don’t mean this in a bad way. On the contrary, because you know each other’s likes and schedules, sexual romps become more routine. So long as there’s still passion and fire, you have nothing to worry about. [Read: 30 ways to spice up your sex life if you’re looking for something new]
#7 You pop each other’s pimples. One of the best parts of having a sweetheart whom you can be yourself around is using them as your personal pimple popper. Whether it’s a one-time hard to reach spot on your butt or an evening delightfully pressing your lover’s blackheads out, it’s certainly a wonderful thing achieving that level of comfort.
#8 Not ashamed of your ugly underwear. Remember the days when you would only let your partner see you in a matching lacy bra and thong set? Remember how you always ensured that you stashed those tight-y whiteys in the bottom drawer, and only let her lay eyes on those Calvin Klein briefs? Those days are long gone.
Whether you are in your “period panties” or “un-holey boxers,” you have no qualms about letting your sweetheart see you at your worst. This is a clear-cut sign that you’re sinking deeper into the comfort zone.
#9 Your in-laws love you more. Whether you’re married or not, there’s no denying that you are too comfortable with each other when your partner’s parents ring you up for a chat. Whether it’s getting your nails done with his mother or golfing with her father, once you forge that solid bond of love between you and your lover’s parents, you can be sure that there’s no turning back.
#10 He pees in the shower… while you’re in it. This is seriously gross and only possible if two people are absolutely comfortable with one another. When he or she pees in the shower while you’re in it and you don’t give two hoots, you know that you have hit the ultimate comfort level with your sweetheart.
#11 Date night is a thing of the past. Do you remember the last time you headed out for a date? Living together and seeing each other on a daily basis will take the romance out of a relationship. Be sure to keep the spark alive by investing in date nights.
Whether it’s something that you indulge in once a week or once a month, be sure to set some time aside for some wining, dining, dancing, or anything else romantic that you can enjoy together. Just because you’re comfortable with each other, doesn’t mean you have to flush all effort down the toilet. [Read: 13 romantic dinner date ideas for two]
#12 You look forward to alone time. Another sign that you’re getting too comfortable with each other is when you start looking forward to alone time. This happens more often than you think and to couples from all walks of life. I, for one, throw myself a little solo party when my fiancé has to head off on a business trip or stay late at the office for a conference call.
This means that I get to pig out on the couch and eat as much ice cream as I want, without getting the stink eye. This doesn’t mean I don’t love him. It just means I appreciate doing whatever I want without justifying why, how, or when I’m doing it. [Read: How to give each other space without drifting apart]
#13 Manners go out the window. You can tell that you’re getting too comfortable with each other when courtesy and manners make rare appearances. I don’t mean you being downright rude to your partner. I just mean you are comfortable doing all the things in front of your lover that you wouldn’t do in public or with other people.
Examples include eating pasta with your hands because you couldn’t find a fork, drinking straight from the wine bottle, and not bothering with the pleases and thank yous.
#14 You’ve heard it all before. If you’ve heard all your partner’s jokes, stories, and theories, and can even recite them, you know that you’re very comfortable with each other. This is a lovely thing because if you can still laugh at the same jokes 20 years down the road, you two belong together.
[Read: 25 must-follow rules for any successful long term relationship]
At the end of the day, just ignore the critics and do what makes you happy. If you and your partner are super comfortable and just as much in love as you were when you first met, then go ahead and indulge in as many gross, private acts as you want. Just don’t forget to treat your partner to a little glitz and glamor every so often to remind them that you’re still the same person you were years ago.
