15 Subtle Signs You’re Both Unofficially Dating & It’s Time to Have the Talk

Unless you’ve had the talk, it can be hard to know what your relationship is. Are you seeing any of these signs you are unofficially dating?

signs you are unofficially dating

So are seeing any signs you’re unofficially dating, just casual, hanging out… or what? What exactly are you two? Ever wondered about that?

Dating is confusing, there’s no denying it. You have no idea about the intentions of the other person and you simply have to go with the flow, hoping that you’re on the same page.

For sure, you can talk about things, but you don’t want to push it too fast either. It’s very possible that you’re heading toward serious territory but neither of you has dared bring up the conversation topic.

So, to clear things up, it’s a good idea to learn the signs you are unofficially dating.

The Relationship Talk is scary. If you bring it ahead of time, you run the risk of freaking them out and they might run.

But, if you don’t talk about it, you’re driving yourself crazy. They might also be wondering the same thing and are equally as sacred to bring it up.

Oh, isn’t dating fun? [Read: When to define a relationship? 20 signs it might be right now]

What does ‘unofficially dating’ actually mean?

You meet and you’re not together, you’re just ‘getting to know one another.’ You start spending all your time together, but it still doesn’t mean anything.

Maybe you become intimate, but you’re supposed to avoid letting your hopes rise. And then you start to avoid seeing other people in a romantic sense, but you’re still not in ‘a relationship.’

Basically, you’re stuck in that random gray area that’s known as ‘unofficially dating.’ You’re dating, you’re kind of together in a sense, you’re not seeing anyone else, but you’ve not put a label on it and you might not be public about it either.

So, unless you want to be stuck in this confusing area for a while to come, you need to figure out the signs you are unofficially dating and then address the situation. [Read: Dating exclusively but not in a relationship? How to fix this grey area dilemma]

The major signs you are both unofficially dating each other

What is it then? A situation-ship? A weird limbo phase? It’s no wonder that the early phases of dating drive people slightly cuckoo.

Here are the common signs you’re stuck in that weird unofficial dating phase that nobody wants to stay in. [Read: The talking stage – What it is and how to progress to the next one]

1. You talk to each other about worries and personal things

Let’s be honest, you’re not going to talk to just anyone about how you feel, right? So, if you find yourself regularly confiding in this person with a lot of touchy-feely loving going on, then the chances of you being more than casually dating are pretty high.

This is one of the main signs you are unofficially dating, but it has to be a two-way thing. Are they confiding in you, too? [Read: These are 25 of the surest signs you could be falling in love]

2. You regularly make plans

You might decide to go away for the weekend or go to a party in a few days’ time. Maybe you discuss going somewhere exotic in a few months.

The point is you’re making plans that are further away than just tomorrow. It means you see yourselves in each other’s lives. If that’s not one of the signs you are unofficially dating, we don’t know what is!

3. You’re constantly in touch with one another

When you’re not actually together, are you always texting and calling one another? Is there a constant back and forth of funny memes and gifs?

While it’s normal in the early stages of dating, if you can add in a few of the other signs we’re talking about, it’s a very good indicator that there is more than just friends/just dating going on. [Read: 22 new relationship advice and tips that most newbie couples end up making all the time]

4. You’ve met friends

If you’ve met their friends and they’ve met yours, that means you’re important to one another without really saying it.

Generally speaking, we don’t introduce people to our inner circle who we don’t see sticking around for a while. It’s a good pointer that there’s something more going on here.

5. You don’t feel the need to date anyone else

These days we date more than one person in the early stages because there’s no commitment there. As long as you’re being safe, you’re free to see whoever you want. However, when things become a little more serious and a label gets placed on the relationship, that all stops.

If you can’t see yourself being with anyone else, if nobody else really interests you, then that’s a good sign. Again, it must be in the other direction too. If they’re not seeing anyone else, that’s one of the signs you’re unofficially dating. [Read: 19 signs you both are clearly ready for a serious relationship with each other]

6. You know they’re not dating anyone else either

It’s not just about you here, you have to know that the other person is on the same page. If you’re not dating anyone else and you don’t have any interest in doing so, that’s one thing.

But, if you know the other person isn’t dating anyone else by choice either, that’s a pretty solid sign that something unofficial is going on between you two.

7. You become jealous easily

Again, that early phase is so confusing and fraught with emotions. It’s easy to become jealous when someone speaks to the person you’re dating!

If you find yourself with an attack of the green-eyed monster pretty easily, that’s because you see them as more than just a crush. Do they feel the same with you? If so, you’re heading towards official status. [Read: How to deal with jealousy in a relationship and learn to overcome it]

8. You may have met their parents

This isn’t a given by any means because some people in actual relationships don’t get to meet parents until many months down the line.

However, if you have met their parents, it’s a strong signal and one of the huge signs you are unofficially dating. It’s a rare one for so early on but not impossible by any means.

9. They’re always on your mind

When you do something, do you automatically wonder what they would think about it? And, do you always want to call them first to tell them what’s happened in your life? If so, they’re becoming extremely important to you. It’s one of the signs of more than just dating.

If you find that they do the same for you, e.g. calling you to tell you something that’s just happened, it’s a huge indicator of an official relationship. [Read: Dating vs. Relationship – 14 signs to know your status]

10. Your social media feeds are full of one another

Some people don’t really care about social media, but a lot of people do. So, if you fall into the latter category and your social media feeds are full of likes, comments, and tagged photos of one another, the chances of your relationship fizzling out too quickly are pretty slim.

That’s one of the big signs you are unofficially dating because you’re showing your beau to the world without thinking twice. [Read: 15 things you shouldn’t do on Instagram when you have a partner]

11. You talk about them to other people

We tend to talk about the things that are important to us and if you’re talking about unofficial partner with others, that’s a good sign.

If you can’t stop yourself from smiling while you’re doing it, that’s a pretty solid pointer that you’re unofficially dating.

12. Their opinion matters to you

If you’re not sure about something and you want advice, they’re the first person you go to. But, it’s more than just friends, it’s something that’s deeper.

You want to know what they think because it’s important to you. For sure, you’ll make your own mind up about what to do, but you feel a need to find out what they think, so you can weigh up all sides. [Read: 15 big relationship questions you must answer before the next level]

13. You’ve talked about the future

This might sound odd because surely that’s something that official couples do? Exactly! If you’re talking about the future as in “let’s go away next weekend” or “in the summer we should …” then don’t you think that’s more official than unofficial.

If this is the case, you’re showing major signs you are unofficially dating and you should probably talk it out to find out what’s really going on.

14. It feels official, even if it’s not

Trust your instincts here. Does it feel like it’s more than just a casual arrangement? We’re not talking about only on your side, but you feel it from them too?

In that case, it’s pretty clear that there’s far more going on and that you’re basically in dating territory without ever making it official. [Read: 9 stages of a relationship all couples go through in their lifetime]

15. You have nicknames for one another

By ‘nicknames’ we mean pet names. If you’ve both taken the time to choose a cute name for one another then surely it’s more than just having fun?

Pet names are things that real couples have so if you’ve got them and you use them regularly, then you can basically say it’s one of the signs you are unofficially dating. So, what are you going to do about it? [Read: Cute pet names – How to pick the right kind of personal pet name]

Is it time for “the conversation”?

How many of these signs you are unofficially dating can you nod along to? You don’t need to tick them all off, but if you can relate to at least half, it’s a strong sign that your dating situation has turned from casual to something more serious.

Should you have a conversation about it? It really depends on whether it bothers you that there’s no solid label yet or not. Couples don’t always need to have the sit down “what are we” conversation in order to be solid.

Not everyone feels the need to have a label anyway. It’s about how you feel, how you treat one another, and the boundaries you put in place.

However, if you want to be exclusive and you’re not too sure if the other person is on the same page, that’s something you should talk about. [Read: How to talk to someone about your relationship: The DTR made easy]

Keep it light to find your answers

Do it in a casual manner and don’t be too heavy when you have this conversation. If someone is a little scared of commitment or they’ve had bad experiences in the past, it’s not hard to scare them and make them back off.

However, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t seek the answers you feel you need.

It also depends on how long you’ve been unofficially dating before you have this conversation. If it’s been just a few weeks or a month, wait a while.

Don’t start making things heavy at this stage, simply try and enjoy the fun and butterflies without demanding answers and pinpointing where you are on the dating spectrum. [Read: 41 conversation starters for couples who are getting serious]

The number one mistake you can have early on in any dating situation is to push things too soon. We totally understand why you might want to get answers, because dating is hard. It’s also fun if you allow it to flow.

It takes time, but just let go of the angst and enjoy the dates, the stolen glances, the kisses, and the general enjoyment that can be totally lost if you focus too much on what’s going to happen.

[Read: How to fix a rushed relationship and slow down and have fun]

These signs you are unofficially dating are pretty strong indicators that your relationship is moving towards official and serious status without actually saying the words. Enjoy it!

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Nicky Curtis
Nicky Curtis
Having stumbled from one relationship drama to another throughout her 20s, Nicky is now somewhat of a guru in the crazy world of life and love. Telling it how i...
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