If you’ve ever experienced sexual tension between friends, you know how weird it can be. Here’s how to handle it without ruining the friendship.
Sexual tension is something that’s blatantly obvious between two people. You’ll feel it right away. Not only do you notice it a lot, but other people can pick up on the vibe, too. Having sexual tension between friends can really make it difficult for two people to interact in groups.
That’s why you need to know how to handle it if you’re in that situation. It isn’t always easy. Sometimes our bodies decide what they want and refuse to listen to reason. But it is possible to deal with sexual tension between friends and keep the platonic relationship alive.
Why you shouldn’t always act on sexual tension
You can have mutual sexual tension with someone you shouldn’t actually be with. There are tons of reasons not to be with someone even though you have chemistry. Maybe you’re too good of friends. Maybe you both are dating someone. And maybe it would just never work long term.
If you’ve made the choice that you would never get together with them, then there are reasons for it. Therefore, you shouldn’t act on it. Many may suggest getting it over with to relieve the tension, but that would also ruin the friendship. [Read: 20 signs of sexual tension to keep a look out for]
How to deal with sexual tension between friends like a platonic pro
Believe me, I know how sexual tension feels. And sometimes you might think that you can’t get past it without just going for it. But in order to preserve your friendship, you have to draw the line.
If you think that might be hard for you, we’re here to help. These are all the ways you can handle sexual tension between friends in order to stay friends and avoid the awkwardness associated with it.
#1 Remind yourself why it’s a bad idea. If you’re not going to sleep with them, then there’s a reason. You’ve decided that for whatever reason, it’s not worth it. Whenever you’re in a situation where you’re feeling like the sexual tension is strong, just remind yourself why it’s bad.
Fill your head with every single reason you decided not to do it. Think about all the bad things that could happen if you ever became involved. So long as you remember why you need to avoid it, it’ll be easier. [Read: How to make up your mind about sleeping with your friend]
#2 Make the choice to never do it and stick with it. It’s all about self-control. If you tell yourself you’re never going to do it, then stick with it. Don’t let yourself get out of control with all the sexual tension.
Make the decision to never get involved no matter what and then hold yourself accountable. When you make a firm decision in your mind, it’ll be much easier to remain platonic.
#3 No touching. This is a huge rule. I know when there’s sexual tension between friends, it’s hard to never touch. They’re your friend. They’re close to you often. It can be tempting to swat them for something funny they said or just hug them.
But you can’t. In order to remain platonic, you have to avoid touching them. If you have physical contact, it’ll only make those sexual feelings much stronger. So for your own sake, stay away from them physically.
#4 No flirting. This will be the hardest thing to do. When you have sexual tension with someone, you flirt without realizing it. However, this makes things much harder for you. Flirting can often lead to dangerous things if you’re not careful.
When you have sexual tension between friends, it’s crucial that you ignore their flirtatious advances. You also have to watch out for your own flirting. Keep all of your flirty comments to yourself and you’ll be just fine. [Read: 15 obvious signs of flirting between two people]
#5 Don’t spend alone time together. Alone time is seriously dangerous when there’s sexual tension between friends. Who’s there to stop you from making a mistake with that person? When you’re alone together, the tension gets much worse.
Therefore, you have to avoid being alone with them. No matter what, don’t be alone in the same room together. You need a buffer. Have another friend with you or just remove yourself from that situation if you want to keep the friendship intact. [Read: How to stop liking someone you know you shouldn’t be with]
#6 Ask a friend for help. I’m guessing the person you have sexual tension with is someone in your friend group. If that’s the case, confide in another friend in the group. Ask them to help you avoid doing anything that can ruin the friendship.
It’s great to have someone else around who can see the sexual tension between friends and is able to stop it. They can come to your rescue and whisk you away from them when things get a little heated. Have a friend help you and it’ll be much easier to deal with.
#7 Avoid situations that make it worse. There are probably different trigger situations that make the sexual tension almost unbearable. You’ve probably notice a couple by now. If you know you can’t be around them during certain times, then don’t be.
When you avoid certain situations that make it worse, it’s much easier to deal with. You won’t be in a place of weakness nearly as often and that’ll help you maintain the platonic friendship. [Read: How to have a perfectly platonic relationship]
#8 Date someone else. This is a really great way to cut the sexual tension between friends. Truthfully, if you can’t be with them, then you should just date someone else anyways. When you have someone to remain loyal to, those feelings can even go away after a while.
So get out there and date someone else. Better yet, bring that person with when you hang out with your friend group. Not only will you remain loyal with your significant other around, but the tension will be with them and not your friend. [Read: Be with someone else and more ways to get over someone]
#9 Never make sexual jokes with them. The worst thing you can do when you have sexual tension with a friend is to make sexual jokes. You never want them thinking about you in a more sexual way than they already do.
If you make sex jokes, it’ll just make them think about sex with you. You’ll also be thinking sexually about them more, too, if you do this. So avoid the sex jokes and keep them to yourself.
#10 Ignore it. This is really all you can do. If you decided not to do anything with them in order to keep your friendship intact, then you just need to ignore it. Remember why your friendship is important and forget about the sexual tension.
It won’t be easy at first by any means, but you can do it. Whenever you feel like the tension is getting a little thick, just think about something else. Draw your attention away from it and you’ll be able to ignore it much easier.
[Read: 16 low-key signs your friend wants to sleep with you]
Dealing with sexual tension between friends is obviously not easy. But if you’ve made the decision to remain platonic, these tips can help you stick with that choice.
