Want to take a holiday romance further but scared off by the negative press? Here’s why your holiday fling SHOULD turn into something more.
There is so much in the media about the negatives behind having a holiday fling. We constantly hear all these horror stories about how gullible tourists get fleeced by serial vacation philanderers. How, once the holiday has worn off, the person they’ve fallen in love with turns into to some raving, alcoholic psychopath. How they’ve ended up getting robbed or conned on the back of their romantic naivety as the holiday draws to a close.
Most frequently of all, the press and popular wisdom tell us, in no uncertain terms, that holiday romances do NOT last. But is this actually the truth?
While it may be a partial truth, it certainly is not the whole truth. Some people do return from their holiday and turn a fling into a full-blown romance quite successfully. A lot of this success has to do with being able to manage your expectations regarding how the relationship is going to pan out.
Let’s face it, if you’ve met on a holiday–especially a foreign holiday–you’re highly unlikely to live anywhere near each other. Hence, any kind of belief that you’re going to get to see each other every day is deeply unfounded. If you can get your head around this from the beginning, there’s no real reason why it shouldn’t be able to work. [Read: Holiday hookups – 10 easy ways to find a travel fling]
Why a holiday fling can become a serious relationship
There are, in fact, several reasons why a post-holiday romance can work perfectly well. The following ten pointers outline exactly what these are.
#1 Good vibrations. No romance could have a better start than to have its origins in a holiday fling, with the sun, sand, sea, exotic cocktails, and new experiences enjoyed in an entirely stress-free environment. A pessimist might argue that it’s all downhill from there, but in reality, what better foundation could a relationship have?
Yes, you will both have to deal with the daily grind when you return, just like any other couple, but you’ll always have that memory to fondly return to and pick up your spirits when things seem grim.
#2 Penny pinching. Maybe your particular fling has been with a native of the place you’ve just visited, or a fellow tourist who was from a country other than your own. Well, this may seem a touch cynical, but don’t tell me there isn’t a part of you that’s rubbing its hands with glee at the thought of all those cheap holidays to come.
With accommodation provided by your newly-significant other and the cost of the hotel cut from your overall holiday expense, you can look forward to potentially paying for little more than the flight alone. That means your budget might be able to extend to an extra trip or two in order to keep the fires of romance burning. Win-win.
#3 Weak ties. This point might seem a little contradictory in an article about the advantages of a post-holiday romance, but it is worth taking into account how much easier these relationships are to end if things go wrong.
Let’s say that the former object of your desires does change once you get back and turns into some crushing bore that you no longer have time for. All you have to do to end it is let them know, then stop taking their calls. They’re hardly going to be on your doorstep day and night, declaring their undying love for you when there are potentially hundreds–if not thousands–of miles between you. Easy. [Read: How to break up with someone you love and not hurt them]
#4 Exciting times. To be quite frank, a romance with its origins in a holiday fling is just a lot more exciting than what you usually end up with. If it’s the case that you get bored with partners easily, then maybe the whole interest and excitement factor in developing a relationship with someone outside your normal social group is enough to get you through to the further stages of interpersonal dependency. And that’s when true love begins. [Read: 20 ingenious ways to keep a relationship exciting]
#5 Power is knowledge. By necessity, due to the probability of having to maintain a long-term relationship in its early stages, you’re going to have a lot of time to truly get to know each other.
When romances burn hot and fast, as holiday flings often do, passion can blind you to the more psycho-spiritual aspects of each other’s character. With physical contact out of the question, and nothing to do but communicate by phone or PC, you’ll have plenty of time to work out what you’re both truly about.
#6 It works! As much as we’re told that long holiday flings don’t last, there is plenty of evidence that they do. According to a survey, as many as 10% of holiday romances lead to wedding bells. This is especially the case for those over the age of 60, for whom the percentage is a startling 22%. With figures like these, and I can’t imagine them being much different from any other type of romance, who are we to argue with the facts?
#7 Easy does it. Another advantage of a holiday romance is that you get to dictate the pace of its progression. Even if you’re head-over-heels in love with someone, you sometimes wonder if it’s all going a bit too fast and wish that you could slow things down a little. Post-holiday, unless you somehow end up meeting someone who lives two streets away from you, you get to do exactly that.
#8 An open book. For some reason, people act differently on their holidays, and this is often cited as a reason not to pursue a holiday romance. However, in the relaxed state that a holiday promotes, people are more likely to be their REAL selves, free of the baggage of normal life. You’re far more likely to have experienced the true person on holiday–the best of them, as it were–than in the local bar on a Friday night!
#9 Keep in touch. Another reason often cited for ditching the holiday romance is that it’s too difficult to cope with the physical separation once you are home. But honestly, with the amount of cheap technology available today focused exactly upon bringing people together, it has never been easier to keep in touch. Social media, mobile text messaging, video calls… distance is no longer an excuse. [Read: The couple’s comprehensive guide to long distance sex]
#10 A clean slate. One of the great advantages of a holiday romance is that you can really start from scratch. You can be whoever you want to be in comfort, and so can they. There is no relationship history about to rear its ugly head and spoil things for you, and no gossip waiting in the wings to let fly with vitriol. This is a truly clean slate, and the only people who can spoil it are you and your new partner.
[Read: 10 survival tips for a long distance relationship]
Hopefully, you will reassess the rationale behind having a holiday fling and decide it’s not as destined for failure as everyone seems to think. You had great fun with them while away, so why not turn those few weeks into a lifetime of fun with a great post-holiday romance?
