We’re here to debunk the social stigma of an older man dating a young woman–an increasingly common phenomenon. Here are five oft-seen misconceptions.
Older men hooking up with younger women is probably as old as time itself. You might have come across a distant memory of a boring history lecture involving kings, aristocrats, or some other important figure having married someone many years his junior. Ages pass, yet it persists… but with the added bonus of hushed whispers of gossip and intrigue, questioning the motives of both the man and the woman.
This may be because most think that normal people ought to be able to find a partner within the same age range. Typically, two to five years younger is acceptable, and ten years is deviant but forgivable, but twenty years? That’s calling for a lot of attention.
If you think about it, you can’t argue with the attraction in the freshness of youth, with more reasons falling on the physical aspects; younger means more beautiful, more energy, and a higher chance of producing healthy offspring. However, those reasons would better fit the understanding of a less-evolved human whose criteria for finding a mate purely revolves around reproduction.
Misconceptions about older men dating younger women
Let’s admit it. We have all pre-judged an old-guy-young-woman couple at least once in our lives. You might see a pair hanging out in café with overt evidence that they are together. The father-daughter excuse wouldn’t work this time.
You may think the only reason an older man, with so much life experience, would consider dating a younger woman is for the sake of keeping company with someone adventurous, energetic, and full of fresh perspectives to keep his rickety bones fresh, his craggy mind running, and his bed consumed by passion.
Maybe some of these misconceptions are true *in some cases*, but then again, we can all blame bad Hollywood tropes for these kinds of ideas.
#1 The older guy is only in it for sex. It is easy to assume this, since we get the idea that a younger women equals a younger, more desirable physical figure. However, as men grow older, they tend to look for more meaningful relationships that provide emotional security, intimacy, and more time for bonding activities.
Sex is the least of their concerns–not that they’re having a “hard” time getting it up–but it is mostly younger men in their twenties who place sex in the top three on their priorities list. Older men find keepers, not sexual flings, because if they did, they could have settled for an escort service rather than a relationship. [Read: Is he into you for all the wrong reasons?]
#2 The younger woman is only in it for the money. This comes from generations of bad stereotypes where the financially-challenged young girl uses her charms to seduce an old, dying billionaire to get to the good stuff when he dies. This is pretty unfounded, since relationships with a large age gap aren’t exclusive to septuagenarian one-percenters.
For women, dating an older man comes with a lot of benefits other than money. An older guy has more life experience, so he’s pretty sure about himself, and won’t go through the jitters and indecision younger men experience. We tend to forget that women are capable of establishing their own finances, and don’t need a rich, older man to provide for them.
#3 The relationship won’t last long. This is a common misconception brought about by the first two items. On the contrary, there are thousands of successful relationships wherein the man is older than the woman. Why? Because both parties are looking for keepers. Imagine the reasons why younger relationships fall apart: lack of time, cheating, constant arguing, insecurities–you name it.
Younger women find less emotional baggage in older men who have gone through and made amends with their insecurities long ago; on the other hand, older men are fascinated with the youthful energy and fun-loving character that younger women bring into their lives. A perfect match. [Read: When does the age gap in a relationship start to matter?]
#4 Older guys who are attracted to younger women are perverts. No, as long as the guy is attracted to a woman of legal age. This misconception brought about the “dirty old man” trope that has plagued our consciousness for a long time. No, he’s not only there for sex.
You’d be surprised by how much better older men treat their partners in comparison to younger men. Older men give better attention, do not throw tantrums and fits, and would rather spend their time bonding with their significant others, rather than hanging out with their buddies and video game consoles.
#5 Dating younger women is a pain in the ass. While it may be true that younger women are prone to outbursts or mood swings during their youth, older men are usually mature enough to understand these shifts, while younger men might not be. It is also another good reason why young women prefer older men: otherwise, old men would not be dating younger women at all.
It is a common misconception that younger women are an emotional wreck and will drive you nuts with their whining and other superficial demands, when in fact, the benefits outweigh the downsides of this type of a relationship.
As the saying goes, love knows no age. There is nothing wrong with dating someone who is younger than yourself, no matter how other people see it. To each their own. If you are happy with your current relationship, pursue it and enjoy it.
Don’t let words or misguided misconceptions dictate your love life. Maybe they’re just jealous that you’re happy–and that validates your relationship more than you can imagine.
[Read: 9 reasons to date an older man at least once]
There’s nothing wrong with a relationship between two consenting adults who treat each other with love and respect. Even if the man happens to be a lot older than the woman, their relationship can still be happy, healthy, and thriving!
