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How to Flirt After the First Date & Create the Right Kind of Sparks

You finished a great first date, but you’re thinking to yourself, what do I do next? Well, you’re about to learn how to flirt after the first date.

how to flirt after the first date

As if the first date wasn’t stressful enough. Now, you must learn how to flirt after the first date and show the person you’re interested in seeing them again. Of course, you can always tell them straight up and see what they say. This is the easiest way to figure out whether or not someone wants to see you again.

But, being straightforward can be terrifying, and not everyone is willing to do it. I’m not even someone who can boldly ask someone if they’re interested in seeing me again. I usually waited to see how the conversation went after the first date. Then, I’d drop subtle hints until they either made a move or not.

How to flirt after the first date 

So, if you’re someone who’s not into being a straight arrow, don’t worry. You can still let someone know you’re interested in them without having to say it. But this will require you to do some flirting.

[Read: How to tell if a first date was good enough – 15 signs you should be able to see]

Let’s all be honest… flirting is fun when you’re comfortable and confident. It may take a little time for you to get the hang of it, but once you get those wheels rolling, you’ll be a flirting force to be reckoned with. So, if you want to know how to flirt after the first date, here’s what you need to do to flirt your way to a second date.

#1 Your flirting will probably be done via text. I’ll assume that most of your communication after the first date will be done via text. That is unless you talk to each other on the phone. If that’s the case, first of all, good for you guys! And secondly, you can still use these tips. But for now, I’m going to be talking about them as if you are communicating via text. It just makes things easier. [Read: How to text your crush without being annoying or boring them]

#2 Any positive text is a good sign. Listen, unless you’re writing them a, “Hey, I didn’t feel any chemistry, but it was nice meeting you” text, the odds are you’re interested in seeing them again. So, any text message you send that isn’t a rejection text is seen as a positive message.

If you’re nervous about being flirty right away, texting, “I had such a great time, thanks for the sushi” is creating a space to continue the conversation.

#3 How was the actual first date? Were you two flirting on the actual first date? Or was there some awkwardness in the air? This matters because you should match your text message. If you didn’t look interested during the date, but suddenly are messaging this person like you’re in love with them, it doesn’t add up. So, measure what you’re going to say based on your date. [Read: How to recognize a bad first date and see the red flags most people ignore]

#4 Test the waters before jumping in. You can be bold and send a very flirtatious text message. There’s a chance it won’t be received well. Instead, go easy into flirting. Don’t jump right in. You don’t really know this person; you’ve only been on one date.

#5 Text at the right time. Yes! Now, when it comes to knowing how to flirt after the first date, I don’t want to put too much of an emphasis on time, because there’s no exact time that you should text someone. There are some general guidelines though.

After the date, give it a little bit of time before you send them a message. But, if there’s one thing I know, do not send a text at 11 pm at night. Unless you decided on a booty call relationship, there’s no reason to send the first text after your date past 8pm.

#6 Be flirtatious, not crude. Okay, I feel like I have to say this even though this should be a given. You can be flirtatious. Do not cross the line into crudeness. Be light, have fun, but do not act disrespectfully. This will not work well for you with now or in your future. Know where the line is and don’t cross it.

#7 Use a little cheekiness. You don’t have to do it by saying, “do you want to go out with me again?” that’s not screaming flirtatious. Instead, say something with a little cheekiness to it. Saying, “You picked a good Italian restaurant, but I think I know a better one ;).” You’re not too aggressive and leave space for them to flirt with you back. [Read: How to flirt over text and intrigue someone with only your words]

#8 Tell them you had a great time. If you had a great time on the first date, tell them! Don’t act mysterious and pretend you didn’t enjoy yourself. Be your authentic self.

If you really enjoyed yourself, let your first text message reflect that. Simply saying, “I had such a great time, I never met someone with such an amazing smile/eyes/laugh/sense of humor.” You’re opening up the conversation to go down a flirtatious path.

#9 Build off of the sexual tension *if it was there*. If the sexual tension was on both sides and you were kissing or touching each other, build off your flirting from where it ended. If that meant you were hooking up, then keep flirting from that point; you don’t need to rewind. If you’re going to talk via text, say something a little hot and steamy. [Read: 20 naughty text messages to start a really sexy conversation]

#10 You can be more forward. If you don’t want to start off easy, you can be a little more forward in your message. But remember, it depends on how the first date went. If you kissed on the first date, text them saying, “I had a great time and your lips taste delicious, I could have kissed you for hours.” It’s a bold move to make, but if the sexual tension was there, use it. 

#10 Mention something that happened on your date. You’re obviously very attracted to the person you went on a date with. Why not bring up something that happened on the date? Maybe they shared a funny story about their past, or they accidentally spilled their drink all over you. This is your moment to use that as a flirty line, “You’re going to have to come shopping with me to pick out a new shirt ;)” [Read: Subtle flirting moves for men and women to bring their date closer]

#11 Slide in the mention of a second date. If you want to go on a second date, slide it into the conversation. Say, “You gave me chills with how beautiful you are, now that I know you love Indian food, I know the next place we’re going.” See? It was smooth, effortless, and shows the person what you want.

#12 Go with your gut instinct. I can tell you to say this or that, but at the end of the day, you should go with your gut instinct. If you feel this person isn’t that interested, then go easy. If there was intense chemistry, test the waters with how flirty you can be. Each date is different for everyone, and you must rely on your instinct to pull you through. [Read: These flirty emojis will make you a pro flirty texter!]

#13 Use emojis when texting. When you’re flirting, use emojis to emphasize your point. That is if you’re texting them. If you’re talking on the phone or voice message, use your voice. But with texting, you have the upper hand with a wink face at your disposal. The right emoji really helps let someone know when you’re flirting.

[Read: The complete texting and follow-up guide after a perfect first date]

Now that you have these tips, you know how to flirt after the first date. Remember, at the end of the day, they’ll let you know if they want to see you again or not.

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer best known for her writings on Kiiroo, LovePanky, Post Pravda, and more. She's the creator and ...
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