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How to Ask Your Crush Out: 15 Steps to Be Brave, Confident & Cool

If you want to know how to ask your crush out and impress them, all you need to do is focus on a few things to completely turn the odds in your favor!

how to ask your crush out

Asking anyone out is tough, but learning how to ask your crush out will make nerves run even higher. This is someone you have feelings for, whether these are serious feelings or admiration. It’s one of the most nervous things to do, especially when you really like them and hope they say yes! *you’re probably sweating a bit as well*

You try to build up the nerve to ask them out but when you’re around them, the time doesn’t seem right or you just lose the courage. This is a universal problem. Don’t worry, you’re not alone in this problem.

In fact, all of us have been through this, and it’s normal to feel this way. Even people with high levels of confidence struggle when it comes to knowing how to ask a crush out!

[Read: How to approach your crush – The steps you need to take to impress them]

Why figuring out how to ask your crush out is so hard

On the surface, it sounds like asking your crush out should be easy or at least straightforward enough. But, the thing about asking out your crush is that you are revealing your secretive, innermost feelings to them.

You’re literally putting yourself out there and taking a chance on them, hoping they say yes to a date with you. And that’s a lot of risk!

Of course, you like them, so there’s always a fear of rejection or worse looming in the shadows. What if you embarrass yourself in front of them? But, if you don’t take that risk and let your feelings show, how will you ever know what would have happened? You cannot live your life in constant fear of rejection or awkwardness.

It’s not or never, so better take that chance while you still can. No matter the outcome, knowing how to ask your crush out will build up your self-esteem and help you live your life fully.

But if you want to increase the odds of your crush dating you, you really need to know how to hang out with your crush. Use this feature on how to talk to your crush and the secrets to make them fall for you and make sure you’ve built a really good connection already. Just doing that will up the odds of your crush liking you back by a hundredfold!

Why is it important to learn how to ask your crush out the right way?

It’s not a life or death kind of thing, but it’s definitely going to help your dating life. By knowing how to ask them out, you’re opening yourself up to many possibilities! It doesn’t matter whether they said yes or no; what matters is you tried your best. You’ll never know if they feel the same if you never took the chance, right?

This way, you’ll never look back and regret the chances you failed to take because of that fear. What if they like you back, but you never had the skill or courage to ask them out?

That’s a date you’re completely missing out on. Think of the possibilities that could happen if you just took the leap of faith. [Read: How to ask someone out over text and get that satisfying “yes”]

How to ask your crush out in a cool and relaxed way

Before learning how to ask your crush out, you have to try to get over the fear and anxiety that goes with it. Of course, your heart is going to beat faster and you’re going to fumble on a few words! You do not have power through those emotions or ignore it.

Rather, take that fear and form it into a reminder that taking this chance is worth it no matter what happens. Once you pass that bridge, you should find it easy going forward. 

Here, we’ll go through the steps you need to take to finally ask your crush out in person. But remember, if you want to be successful, don’t just walk up to your crush and blurt out that you like them. It may work, but bigger chances are, your crush would be surprised and the first thing they’ll say *more out of awkwardness or shock* is that they don’t see you in that way!

You don’t want to make that mistake, do you?

Always make your intentions clear from the very beginning. And as much as you possibly can, flirt with them now and then, and always leave them wondering if you have more than just friends in mind.

If you do this right, everything just gets way easier and in all probability, your crush may even be waiting for you to ask them out! Use these 22 steps to drop the right hints and get your crush to like you back before you even think of pouring your heart out to them in person.

Once you’ve used the guides and you’ve dropped all the right hints, follow these steps on how to ask your crush out, and chances are, they’ll say “yes” to you even before you finish your sentence!

1. Befriend your crush – but don’t get friend-zoned

It’s much more nerve-wracking to ask a complete stranger who you’re admiring from afar than to ask your crush who’s also your friend. It’s important to build some form of connection with them before even asking them out in the first place.

It reduces your anxiety and nervousness, and it can also increase your chances of them saying yes. Just make sure not to wait too late in asking them out, or you might get stuck in the friend zone! [Read: How to escape the friend zone – 13 actions that make you desirable]

2. Breathe

It’s so crazy how something that literally comes so naturally to us can just be completely forgotten due to nerves. Don’t forget to breathe! Your crush is just as human as you, and it’s just like you’re talking to another person. How else are you going to successfully ask them out if your anxiety is over the roof?

Right before approaching your crush to ask them out, take a deep breath in and out. The more oxygen in your brain, the better it will all go. [Read: How not to be nervous – 18 easy ways to eliminate nerves before a big move]

3. Get a pep talk

Even with the realization that asking out your crush is a bold move that you should make, we can still second guess ourselves. Give yourself a pep talk to boost your ego and confidence before talking to your crush. Remind yourself that you look good, that you’re a decent human being, that you’re funny, and about all your other best traits.

Or, you can also have a friend hype you up and remind you of the best things about yourself. They’ll let you know you can take a few minutes to ask out your crush, and they’ll say yes. If your crush turns you down, you will survive and move on like a champ! Never underestimate the power of a good pep talk from a good friend. [Read: How to welcome positive energy and vibes into your life]

4. Remain calm

Calmness is a very attractive trait on someone, so you need to stay as calm and collected as possible. You can’t show who you really are if you’re awkward and anxious while asking them out. Although we all have jitters, remaining calm for those few minutes is important.

Showing too many nerves can make you look unsure. Confidence is always an attractive trait and even if you don’t feel confident, just fake it till you feel it. All you need are a few moments of bravery and you could have a first date around the corner. Being calm is how to ask your crush out in the best way possible. 

5. Be specific

When you are nervous to ask your crush out, you may end up being subtle and ambiguous about it. Be specific about the dates in hanging out if you want to know how to ask your crush out. Otherwise, they might not even be aware you’re asking them out on a date, especially if you’re using the words “chill” or “hang out.”

Without nailing down a time and place during the initial ask-out, things tend to get canceled or postponed. If you really want this date to happen, suggest a specific date idea. [Read: What you need to do when you like a friend and want to ask them out without risking the friendship]

6. Be direct

Don’t beat around the bush, or get vague when you ask them out. If you don’t tell them you’re interested in them romantically, they could get the wrong idea. As scary as this feels, you need to put your feelings out there.

This is your one shot to get it right, and avoid planting yourself in someone’s friendzone for life. So it’s okay if they turn you down for now, but don’t trap yourself by mumbling or changing your plan midway. [Read: How to ask someone if they like you without embarrassing yourself]

7. Read the situation

Are they slouching while crossing their arms? Did they smile when they saw you approaching? Do they have a nervous smile? Or are they genuinely in a good mood? You do not want to ask out someone that is not in the right state of mind, and sometimes reading the unspoken parts of a situation is what is needed.

If they’re in a bad mood, maybe reschedule the asking out for later when they’re in a better mood. You don’t want to risk getting rejected just because it’s a bad day for them.

8. Use humor and wit

You really don’t need to be all that serious when asking them out on a date. Even if your emotions are all over the place, you can inject humor and keep it lighthearted instead of deep and uneasy.

In fact, they’ll appreciate this since you’re making them laugh with whatever joke or cheesy pick-up line you come up with. [Read: How to be funny and make people absolutely love your company]

9. Own your feelings

Don’t ever second guess yourself. You can work up the guts to approach your crush with plans to ask them out, but then fall back. You may try to act as if their response means nothing to you. You’re allowed to show your feelings, regardless if they say yes or not.

If they say yes, don’t be afraid to show your joy around them. If not, you don’t have to take back your offer. Own the way you feel.

10. Make sure they’re alone

The right circumstance is really everything when you’re asking someone out. It may seem easier to ask them out when they’re distracted with friends, or when you just walk into them in the hallway, because there’s less pressure on you and it’s easier to just blurt your feelings out. But don’t.

Don’t be sneaky. Asking someone out is not about slipping a date in, it doesn’t work that way. They have to listen to what you want to say, and give you their answer after a bit of thought.

Try to get some alone time with each other, and veer the conversation towards a date when no one’s around. That’s your window of opportunity to talk to them and muster the courage to ask them out! [Read: 50 really cute things to say to your crush and make them feel special]

11. Avoid technology

Texting and social media may be some of the most common ways to ask your crush out nowadays, but there is a lack of connection.

Of course, if you’re really scared to do it in person, you can ask them out over a text. But if you can, always try to do it in person. You’ll be able to read their body language, and see the way they respond to you. By asking your crush out in person, you can be sure it’s not just a pity date or something they’re doing because they don’t want to hurt your feelings.

Granted that it’s easier to take rejections over text, but asking someone in person always makes you appear way more confident, and more importantly, there’s a connection that comes with communicating your interest in person. It may seem scarier than sending a text, but it’s also more rewarding! [Read: How to ask someone out over text and get that satisfying yes]

12. Make a plan

Have a date planned in your mind. You don’t have to have reservations, but you need at least a rough plan. Remember what we mentioned about being specific and direct? The same applies to planning a date. It has to be well-thought of and absolutely not rushed.

Take time to think about what they like and dislike *if you already know*, and take things from there. Having a plan lets you be prepared and less nervous. If they do say yes, you need to share a plan immediately and let them know when you’d like to meet them and what you have in mind to do together so you can “seal the deal” instead of leaving it hanging. *leaving plans for later can increase the chances of someone flaking on you!*

13. Be flexible

Okay, we did say that you need to put yourself out there, and be specific with the date. But if your crush tells you they’re busy on that particular day and drops a line like “…maybe some other time,” don’t hesitate.

Your crush may be trying to brush you off and reject you without saying it, or they may genuinely be busy. So come up with a suggestion for another day. This gives you the clarity you need, and lets them know you’re genuinely interested in them.

If they decline the new day you suggest as well, or don’t really answer with a yes or a no, it probably means they’re not into you or they need more time to consider it. Drop the conversation, and talk about something else, don’t be pushy.

If they are interested in a date with you, they’ll let you know over the next few days. But for now, just accept this as a rejection and don’t ever bring up the topic of a date with them again, unless you want to be branded as pushy and clingy.

14. Reward yourself

No matter if your crush accepted your date or not, you should be proud of yourself! This is always something worth celebrating.

It’s a big step for your confidence and your dating future, after all. There’s something to be said about your bravery and courage the moment you successfully manage to ask your crush out.

Knowing you have the ability and courage to ask your crush out can give you a huge boost in confidence, and that confidence will translate into every other part of your life as well. [Read: 15 lessons you can learn from your own breakups and rejections]

15. Respect their answer

No matter their response or excuse, just respect it and move forward. Now you know whether or not they are interested, you can move forward. Resenting them or being bitter will just prove their answer further and that they were right to say no to you.

Be mature and collected in accepting their rejection and move on. It’s easier said than done, but you must respect their answer. Don’t insult them, or take back your date offer just because they say they don’t see you a certain way, that’s childish and totally immature as well! [Read: How to respond to rejection and do the right thing]

So, how to ask your crush out?

You may feel like your heart is skipping a beat in your throat, but no matter what their answer, asking a crush out after setting the right foundation is very rewarding in many ways.

However you see it, you either get a date or the satisfying feeling that you conquered your fear of rejection!

[Read: How to tell your crush you like them – The 20 best low-risk methods that really work]

Use this guide on how to ask your crush out, and if you follow all the steps to the tee, chances are, your crush will say yes to you! But even if it goes the other way, you would have learned an important life skill as well!

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The editorial team of LovePanky comprises relationship experts and real-life experts that share their experiences and life lessons. If you want the best love ad...