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What Is a Simp? Meet Gen Z’s New Version of the Nice Guy

We all know about “the nice guy” and what it means, but what about the term ‘simp’? What is a simp? Welcome to Gen Z’s new nice guy: the simp.

What Is a Simp

If you’ve managed to make your way onto TikTok, like me, then you probably have no idea what’s going on in the world of Gen Z. I’ve been on TikTok for weeks, and I still don’t understand half the things they do. Lip syncing to songs and dancing on camera is cool? What is a simp? Let’s not even get started here, because there are so many other things about them that baffle me.

There are some things I’ll never understand, even though my generation invented social media. Not to brag or anything. [Read: The typical characteristics of millennials – the give it to me now generation]

But anyway, that’s for another day. What we’re here to talk about is the simp. You may have seen this word floating around TikTok and still have no idea what it means.

Simp 101: What is a simp?

And to be honest, I was in the same position. But then I discovered what ‘simp’ means. Thank you, Urban Dictionary. If you’re tired of trying to understand and guess what ‘simp’ means, I don’t blame you.

Though most of us think it’s a completely new word with an entirely new meaning. In reality, you already know what this word means. Welcome to ‘the nice guy.’ Though we may not think there’s a problem with showing respect to a woman *and there’s no problem with that at all*. Apparently on TikTok, it’s a big no-no. But let’s go a little deeper into what a ‘simp’ actually means. [Read: Nice guy syndrome – 16 reasons why girls find them so darn boring]

To simp or not to simp. That is the question.

#1 What does ‘simp’ mean? Before anything, let’s get the definition down. If you google ‘simp,’ it’ll say, “a silly or foolish person.” But that’s not what a ‘simp’ means in this context. Thankfully, I have the actual definition of the new age simp.

A simp is someone, man or woman, who treats another person with respect and kindness only in hopes of starting a romantic or sexual relationship. [Read: 10 sneaky techniques guys use to get in your pants]

#2 In other words, a simp isn’t being honest. There are people who enter a friendship normally, only to have it progress into something more. But this is different.

A simp is someone who will act as a friend just to get into the person’s pants. For example, a guy may pay for his female friend’s ice cream, even though they’re friends, which is fine. But he does so only to make a move. [Read: Why the typical nice guy is never really a nice guy]

#3 These people are usually friend-zoned. But I mean this in the literal sense. Simps are people who are viewed as friends. The other person doesn’t view the simp as anything more than a friend, yet, the simp believes that they deserve to move out of friendship and into something romantic and/or physical. [Read: How to friend zone a guy without leading him on] 

#4 They became a friend without wanting to be a friend. Here’s the thing, a simp is someone who’s considered a friend, and that’s it. But for the simp, they never wanted to be a friend. They only did this to push their hidden motives. In other words, they didn’t enter the friendship honestly.

#5  It is applicable to both genders. There’s no doubt the being a ‘simp’ or simping can apply to both genders. If you go on TikTok, you’ll see plenty of videos including women. So, at least it’s inclusive of both sexes. But I need to be honest about this with you…

#6 It’s geared mostly to men. Sure, there are some TikTok videos and memes about women being simps as well, but let’s not kid ourselves. Most of the content out there is geared towards men behaving like a simp. Sadly, it’s geared towards the dated idea that men can only be nice towards women if they want to have sex with them. [Read: How to be just friends with a guy when he wants more]

#7 Simps be simping. If someone is a simp, and engage in simp-like behavior, it’s called simping. So what does a simp do to be considered a simp? The Urban Dictionary describes a simp, “a man who puts himself in a subservient/submissive position under women in hopes of winning them over, without the female bringing anything to the table.” In other words, it’s a guy who thinks being nice makes him entitled to sex. [Read: 15 real reasons why the nice guy finishes last every single time]

#8 Treating someone with respect doesn’t win you points. In reality, treat everyone with kindness and respect. Just because you treat someone with respect doesn’t entitle you to gain anything from them. If you respect them and treat them with kindness, that’s because you want to. Not because you can get something out of it.

#9 If you’re a simp, get over this idea. In the end, you’ll be the one who loses. If you start a friendship with someone, do so because you genuinely want to be their friend. If you only focus on gaining sexual gratification from them, this isn’t friendship. But if anything, you’re just fake. [Read: 16 hush-hush signs a friend wants to have sex with you]

#10 Not everyone falls for it. Not everyone is falling for the idea of a ‘simp’. There are many women and men that are in platonic friendships with people of the opposite sex and aren’t in the friendship just for sex. So, yes, platonic relationships are possible, people. [Read: How to be friends with a guy and never cross the platonic line]

#11 But, simps do exist. Here’s the thing, as much as I wish ‘simps’ didn’t exist, there are people out there that feel the only way to find someone to have sex with them is if they pretend to be their friend first. And through their friendship, they’ll make a move. Not cool.

[Read: How to know if your guy BFF is subtly trying to seduce you]

If you weren’t exactly sure what is a simp, well, I’m glad we cleared up all the confusion and laid the information out on the table for you.

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer best known for her writings on Kiiroo, LovePanky, Post Pravda, and more. She's the creator and ...
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