The whole dating milestone situation can be super-confusing. If you’re wondering what does a third date mean, you’ve come to the right place.
Are you confused by the dating game? After all, there are many unspoken rules. If they’re unspoken, how are you actually supposed to know about them? For instance, what does a third date mean?
How do you know if you overstep a rule? How do you know if you didn’t do something you were ‘supposed’ to do?
Put simply, you just need to learn about what a third date means and what it doesn’t. Then, you’ll find it easier to avoid making a big mistake. [Read: The clues to know if your first date went well]
The stages of dating
You meet, you talk a little, you flirt, you go out on a first date, and it’s great. You’re terrified of course, but it’s great. Hopefully you get along well and you manage to not make a total fool of yourself. Then, it progresses to date number two.
Date number one is pretty easy to figure out; you’re trying to make a good impression on each other, so you really can’t totally trust what’s being said or shown at that stage.
You have to keep your mind open and avoid making rash declarations of love in your own mind. [Read: 13 warning signs to look out for in the first few dates]
So, date number two. This is where it starts to get a little worrying. There is debate about whether you should sleep together on the first date, and whilst it’s more than fine if you do *many of us have at some stage*, it’s usually better to wait and figure out what’s going on.
The second date is about becoming a little more familiar, perhaps making jokes and laughing more than the first date. It’s like feeling your way into whether this is actually going somewhere, because you’re not on your best behavior like you were on the first date.
And that brings us to date number three. This is where it gets super-confusing. [Read: Decoding what a third date means after date one and two]
Why the third date matters
We often let our guards down by the third date. It can be both a good thing and a bad thing. It’s good because we’re showing the other person far more of who we actually are deep down. Relationships are supposed to be about real-person connections, not false identities.
The downside? You’re not out of the needing to be on your best behavior stage yet. By becoming too relaxed, you’re possibly going to say something which could offend the other person, make a joke they won’t appreciate, etc. Remember, you don’t really know them by this point either.
It’s tricky. Third dates can be the difference between date number four and onto the future, or ‘that was nice, let’s not do this again sometime.’ [Read: How to plan a date to knock the socks off anyone you want to impress]
What does a third date mean to a guy?
In general, guys do not see this as moving towards ‘seeing each other’ territory and simply see it as an extension of the ‘getting to know you’ phase.
It also means that sex is quite possibly on the table.
If you’re wondering what does a third date mean to a guy, here’s a few general pointers. [Read: Why do men love a chase and how to use this in your favor]
1. The third date should be more relaxed
The stress of the first date is over and you’ve got to know each other a little on date number two. By the third date, things are more chilled out and relaxed.
2. It’s okay to show a little PDA
But only if you’re comfortable with it! This depends on the person, but by having got to know each other a little, perhaps hand holding or kissing is on the table by now.
3. It’s time to ask questions
It’s okay to start delving into your date’s personality and life a little by this point, but not too much! You can start asking questions and allowing those questions to lead to deeper conversations. [Read: 50 warm, feel-good questions to ask a girl to get to know her better]
4. He’s somewhat into you
What does a third date mean to a guy? It means he thinks you’re cool.
If you’ve reached the third date, you can pretty much safely say that he’s into you. If he wasn’t, he wouldn’t be wasting his time on going out with you three times!
5. But it doesn’t mean you’re in a relationship
Be careful in assuming that a third date means you’re coupled up. It doesn’t – not yet at least. You’re still getting to know one another and it’s casual at this stage for a guy.
So, when finding out what does a third date mean to a guy, avoid jumping ahead and assuming things are moving fast. [Read: Are we in a relationship? How to know for sure if you’re a couple]
6. He might still be deciding what he wants
We know he likes you somewhat, but he might not be totally decided on what to do about it just yet. He’s still feeling his way through the situation and trying to get to know more.
7. He doesn’t have a set timeline
We’ve mentioned that everything is still quite casual at this point, so don’t expect him to have a timeline of what’s going to happen next. He’s going with the flow.
8. He’s watching how you treat others
At this ‘getting to know you’ stage, how you treat others really matters. He will judge you on how you act around and to other people. [Read: How to be nice – 20 easy tips to make everyone love being around you]
9. He might be thinking about intimacy
Let’s be honest, some people sleep together on the first date and if that’s what they both want, that’s fine! So, by date three, he could very well be thinking about taking things to a more intimate level.
10. Things might not be sexual yet
But, that might also mean that nothing sexual has happened yet. The third date is a grey area in terms of the whole sex question, so if it doesn’t become sexual by this point, it’s nothing to be concerned about.
Many people ask, ‘what does a third date mean to a guy’ and always assume it means sex. It doesn’t. It might, but not necessarily. [Read: When should you have sex? The essential questions to ask yourself]
11. No sex on the third date doesn’t mean goodbye
If the question of sex hasn’t come up on the third date, that doesn’t mean it’s over and he’s not interested. He could be trying to work you out still, or he might be worried that if he mentions it, you’ll be scared off.
Now you know what does a third date mean to a guy, let’s confuse ourselves entirely and find out what it means to a girl! [Read: How long should you wait before sex? A guide on timing, dates & sex]
What does a third date mean to a girl?
When asking what does a third date mean to a girl, we need to think slightly differently to a guy. While the third date is still the grey area territory of getting to know one another, it may mean something a little more to a girl.
1. She’s decided whether she likes you or not
While not every girl will 100% know whether this is a guy they want to spend a lot more time with, most girls have decided at this point whether they like him or not.
2. She might be thinking about sex but doesn’t want to be judged
When learning what does a third date mean to a girl, it’s important to know that sex is still a grey area. It’s possible that she is thinking about sex on the third date, but doesn’t want to rush because of the fear of being judged. [Read: Having sex on the first date – Should you give in to the urge?]
3. She is wondering whether this might turn into something
In some cases, a girl’s mind will jump ahead to the future and she might be wondering where this will lead. However, it’s important to stay in the moment and enjoy the present.
4. Not all girls are keen to rush
If she’s been through a bad breakup before or she’s carrying baggage, she may be reluctant to show her true self by this point.
What does a third date mean to a girl? It means a lot in this type of situation, it means she’s opening up to you, but you need to give her the time she needs. [Read: Taking it slow in a relationship – How should you do it]
5. Lots of questions to learn more
By the third date, a girl is inquisitive and wants to learn as much about a guy as possible. That means lots of questions to delve deeper and work him out.
6. She feels more comfortable
The fact she has been on three dates with you shows that she feels comfortable. For that reason, you may find that dates move away from very public spaces and toward more intimate settings. [Read: How to be comfortable with yourself]
7. You will only see her looking her best
Date three is still very early and at this point, she’s keen for you to see her only looking her very best. She will try her hardest to always look good because, in turn, that makes her feel more confident too.
Does a third date mean a little more to a girl than a guy? It depends on the girl, but in some ways, yes. By this point, a girl may be a little more invested than a guy.
Not always, but often!
So, now you know what does a third date mean to a girl and a guy, what else do you need to know? [Read: The early stages of dating and how to navigate the do’s and don’ts]
Tips to nail the third date
The third date is that awkward jumping point between not knowing anything about one another to knowing enough to decide whether you like them or not. Is it make or break? It could be.
So, to help you out, her are a few tips to help you nail that third date and look forward to a fourth.
1. Choose the right place and plan carefully
By this point, you know each other a little better. That means you can choose a place that calls out to their interests and allows you to speak more privately. [Read: Top 10 fun and romantic summer date ideas]
2. Win them over with humor
A little humor can help them to relax and allows everyone to feel more comfortable on the third date. Don’t throw a stand up routine at them, but a few carefully times jokes could be all it takes to make this third date magical.
3. Forget so-called date rules
You know the ones – you’re supposed to have done this by the second date, that by the third date. There isn’t a checklist to tick off here, you go with the flow and see what happens.
Don’t put pressure on yourselves! [Read: Rules of dating – The unspoken guidelines that create the best dates]
4. Don’t force anything
The third date can be frustrating because you probably really like each other and you’re feeling an attraction, but it’s important not to force anything. Keep things slow and casual and whatever is meant to be, will be.
5. Follow your gut feeling
Your intuition will never steer you wrong. If you’re not sure what to do or what to say, listen to your gut and let it guide you.
If you’re a guy, avoid thinking too much about what does a third date mean to a girl and go with your gut on this one. And if you’re a girl, the same advice applies! [Read: How to listen to your gut and give strength to your inner voice]
6. Most importantly, be yourself!
There is nothing worse than trying to be someone you’re not. If you do this, you’re going to have to keep up the act for a lot longer and it will be exhausting.
Just be yourself. Let that wonderful personality shine through and they’re sure to be charmed by you. [Read: How to be yourself]
Who should ask for a third date?
Either of you or both of you! There is no rule here.
Forget the outdated guidelines that tell you a guy should always do the asking. We’re in the modern age! If you’re a girl and you want to ask a guy for a fourth date, go ahead and suggest it.
If you’re a guy and you’re keen to take the lady in your life out again, ask!
By this point, you should be feeling more relaxed and the wondering whether they like you deal is over. They wouldn’t have been on three dates with you if they didn’t. Just ask! [Read: How to ask someone out over text and get that satisfying ‘yes’]
Signs they don’t want a third date
But of course, having been on two dates doesn’t mean they’re keen for a third.
So, how can you tell if the person you’ve endured the first date with and been out for a second time with, really wants to take it to that third level?
They’ll tell you, basically. They’ll be happy, chatty, smiley, they’ll seem comfortable, and you’ll feel it.
If you notice any of the points below, it’s likely they’re not feeling a third date: [Read: How to learn from the rejections you’ve faced]
1. They’re displaying closed body language, e.g. lack of eye contact or crossing their arms over their body
2. They make constant references toward being busy
3. They keep checking their phone or looking at the clock on the wall
4. They tell you they’re not into dating right now [Read: 8 positive ways to deal with rejection in any scenario]
5. Conversation is stilted and there are lots of awkward silences and one-word answers
If you notice any of these points, or even worse, more than one, it’s not worth looking forward to date number three.
What to do on a third date
We put so much time and effort into planning the all-important first date and then we start to worry about the second one. But, what should you do on a third date?
You’re still at that point where you need to impress them, but it can be a little less stressful at the same time. [Read: 33 awesome date ideas every couple should try]
There are three main points you can go for here.
1. Keep the date in public
You know one another a little, but maybe one or both of you don’t feel comfortable enough to be totally alone. In that case, you can choose a public setting that is safe enough but still intimate in some ways.
We’re thinking a park, a concert, or a karaoke bar, maybe. [Read: Creatively cheap – 12 date ideas to have fun on a budget]
2. Be active
When you’re doing something, you’re more comfortable because the onus isn’t solely on conversation. Why not head off on a hike together, or maybe go bowling? A little competition is sure to keep things interesting!
If you’re comfortable enough, you might even go on a short road trip to the next town or city.
3. Be thoughtful
Use the things you’ve talked about in your first and second date to plan a thoughtful third date. If your date has mentioned they like art, why not go to a gallery? Or, if they’ve talked about a fascination with history, you could go to a museum.
An escape room is also a great idea because it means you’re teaming up to solve a problem. [Read: 20 fun and unconventional date ideas you can try]
What is the third date rule?
Let’s make it clear – there should be no expectation or pressure to sleep together on the third date. Some people use the third date as a general guideline for when it’s so-called acceptable to become intimate with someone one.
But, who made that rule?
Some people sleep together on the first date and stay together for many years. Others wait for months and are extremely happy about it. It’s a personal choice and one you both have to be comfortable with. [Read: Third date rule – Are there benefits to waiting three dates to have sex?]
If you’re both into it, go for it. If not, wait.
Forget the so-called third date rule. Nobody knows who made it up anyway.
So, what does a third date mean?
Dating is a totally ‘one size doesn’t fit all’ thing. For one person, a third date might mean it’s time to jump into bed. For another person it might be a last chance audition to decide whether or not they’re future material.
Or a third date could simply that they enjoyed the other two dates, and they want to see if they enjoy the third. [Read: Getting to know someone – How long does it take?]
Avoid putting pressure on yourself and impressing by simply not being who you are. Hold back the extreme bits, of course, but just go in there and be the person you know yourself to be. Be open, be honest, and be real.
Hopefully, the other person will have the same mindset. From there, you can really get a glimpse of whether you want to continue seeing this person into date four and beyond. Not every dating experience is meant to last, but the ones that do are often the more laidback to begin with.
[Read: What you need to understand about dating]
What does a third date mean? It means you’re going to see this person for a third time. That’s really all you need to think about. Avoid putting pressure on yourself or putting a label on it.
