When you go out with a serial dater and end up falling for them, it can drive you insane. One of the serial dater signs is a commitment issue.
If you’re not sure what a serial dater is, it’s when someone goes out on countless dates but never really gets into a relationship. They’re either incapable of commitment or something’s seriously wrong with them. This is why it’s important to spot serial dater signs before you take the relationship further and end up falling for them.
You might be thinking that only guys can be serial dates, but this can also be true for women. If you like to keep things very traditional on your dates and have the man pay for the meal, you may run into some girls who just like to get some free food out of the whole ordeal. [Read: Modern dating woes: 20 pitfalls of being a serial dater]
Is a serial dater the same as a player?
It can be confusing to differentiate a serial dater and just a player. A serial dater is just a type of player that doesn’t plan to commit with one person for a prolonged period. They don’t limit themselves to just one person, usually because of their commitment or abandonment issues.
Both a serial dater and player often hide their fear of rejection and abandonment with the fact that they’ll break up with you first, before you can do it to them. They find power and amusement in their inability to commit, even if it means getting your hopes up and wasting your time and energy on dates.
You’ll see them use lines such as, “I’m not looking for anything serious right now” or “Let’s just take things casually.” If there’s one difference between a serial dater and a player, it’s that a serial dater is the way they are because there’s something significantly wrong with them. [Read: What makes someone a player? The 15 sly signs of a player’s mind]
Why you should watch out for a serial dater
Why would you want to waste your time getting to know someone only to have them not want to pursue a relationship at all? It’s not only annoying, it’s also rude. Obviously, if the person has something very undesirable about them, you can’t really call it a waste of time – you didn’t know.
However, there are some ways to tell if the person you’re talking to or going out with is a serial dater. Pay attention to these serial dater signs and you might end up saving yourself a lot of time. [Read: 13 warning signs to look out for on the first few dates]
1. They want to go on a date ASAP
Most serial daters want to date as much as possible. They’re not really there to get to know you so they’ll probably want to go for the date right away. They really don’t care about taking things slow and getting to know you first.
They’ll skip steps just to get to the date part of your connection since that’s all that matters for a serial dater. If you find that after only a couple conversations they want a real date, they could be a serial dater.
2. They avoid deep conversation
Serial daters just want to date. They don’t want to get to know you and that means they’ll avoid meaningful conversations. Most likely, they’ll keep the conversation simple. They’ll stick to light and easy conversations, such as small talk and topics that prevent intimacy and connection.
You’ll especially be able to tell if this is the case if you try to talk about more complex matters and they just joke about it or change the conversation altogether. [Read: How to keep the conversation going with a girl you really like]
3. They don’t ask in-depth questions about you
They’re not looking for a real relationship and that means they don’t want to get to know you. If they’re a serial dater, it means they’re more interested in having fun rather than connecting with you.
Try not to take it too personally, as it’s just who they are. If they do ask questions about you, it tends to be superficial and light. [Read: 50 relationship questions to test your compatibility instantly!]
If they never ask you personal and meaningful questions and this also means they’ll never share personal things about themselves.
So if you’re wondering what the serial dater signs are, this is a pretty important one. If they’re keeping you at arm’s length with such effort and dedication, it’s because they don’t want to build a connection with you.
5. They won’t discuss their feelings for you
Why would they? Commitment isn’t in their nature, and you can’t change the facts. They might mention how they think you’re great and how good looking you are but do you know how they truly feel about you?
If not, they could be avoiding discussing it because they don’t want a relationship or anything deeper than a casual fling. [Read: This is why men act like they don’t care and have no feelings]
6. They only ever want to have fun
Their mission is to only have fun and if you find yourself wanting more and craving dates that are more intimate emotionally, you might be with a serial dater.
Dating them will never provide you with any emotional or mental intimacy just because they go out of their way to avoid that from happening. In all their dates, they just want to have fun. [Read: What is casual dating? And how to know if you can handle it]
7. They’re focused on your physical relationship
You can have a really great physical relationship with someone who only ever wants to date and never get serious. This is because that’s all they want. Since they can’t give you other forms of intimacy, it’s physical intimacy they mainly focus on providing you.
This is so you’ll be satisfied in keeping things casual without the emotional ties, but it’s never enough. So don’t be surprised if a serial dater is good in bed – it’s the only thing they have to give you, after all. [Read: 17 signs you’re just a hookup and nothing more]
8. They’re very charming
People who only ever date are really good at it. They have tons of practice, really. Obviously, anyone can be charming. Their charisma is something they’re very good at showing people, which is why their dates tend to be really fond of them.
Little do they know that they’re dating someone incapable of commitment and anything serious. Of course, anyone can be charming, so you have to be really sure they’re a serial dater before you accuse them of being one. [Read: How to be charming and liked by everyone]
9. They always have a comeback
They’re very witty. This helps them dodge any personal questions with fun comebacks so you can’t tell they really just don’t want to answer the questions.
Their ability to come up with comebacks helps them avoid sharing personal details with you. If the person you’re dating is super witty and seems to sidestep serious topics with humor, they probably aren’t looking for a relationship.
10. They make lofty promises
And they’ll very rarely, if ever, follow through with them. Meaning, they might tell you they’ll take you to all these amazing places and plan for incredible dates far off in the future but they don’t come through.
Stating false promises that make you hope for any kind of commitment with them is one of the many serial dater signs you should be wary of. For them, these are simply words and they have no intention to follow through with them. [Read: 19 life quotes to motivate you to live a better life]
11. They often talk about keeping things “casual”
They just love saying the word ‘casual’ to their dates, just because it’s all they ever look for. Serial daters don’t go on dates like ordinary people, e.g. to look for a potential relationship. One of the serial dater signs is when they look for something strictly casual with every date.
It doesn’t matter how great that person was; they still want to keep it casual. If you hear this a lot, they’re probably a serial dater. [Read: 10 casual relationship rules to keep things simple]
12. They don’t communicate much when you’re not together
Meaning, if you text them a lot and don’t get many responses, they could be a serial dater. This is because they don’t want to be trapped into talking about deep subjects that can often come up when you text someone for a long time.
They know how attached people can get when they often communicate, so they’re just trying to avoid getting into this kind of mess. Prevention is better than cure, especially in this case *for a serial dater, anyway.* [Read: 16 signs someone’s not ready for a serious relationship]
13. They’re into big gestures
When trying to spot a serial dater, watch for the big gestures even at an early stage. This is because they want to land a date with you right away, so they make any desperate attempt to speed things up to land that date with you.
So if you find they’re exaggerating their romantic gestures and doing it at an early stage, they could be a serial dater.
14. They play the victim
Whether during your date or a conversation, they’ll play the victim by always acting like they’re in the wrong. If you ask why they’ve never had a long-term relationship before, they’d never admit to being a serial dater at first.
Instead, they’ll say they had a crazy ex, or it’s everyone’s fault but theirs. This is one of the classic serial dater signs you should watch out for. [Read: Manipulative people: How to spot them and stop playing the victim]
15. They’re attention-seekers
When dealing with serial daters, they’ll seek attention in the most absurd ways. Maybe it’s asking for sympathy or pretending they’re feeling down just to get multiple people to notice them.
This is a tactic to get the attention of several people with the potential of dating each one of them. Their attention-seeking moves are also how they immediately land a date with you *by playing the guilt card.*
16. They intentionally make the relationship stagnant
One of the worst things is when a relationship becomes stale, and there’s no growth at all. However, serial daters do this intentionally so that you end up giving up on the relationship entirely.
Since they’re afraid of commitment, this is their way of sabotaging your relationship before it even starts. When it’s stagnant, then you don’t get attached as much as a normal relationship. [Read: How to play a player: 16 sneaky ways to return the favor like a boss]
17. They use flowery words
Whether it’s in the form of compliments, romantic words, or bringing out their hopeless romantic side, they will show this side of themselves to you so that you willingly go on a date with them.
Maybe it’s telling you how you had such an impact on their lives and how happy you make them. But these are words they don’t mean. Using all kinds of romantic words is just one of the serial dater signs you need to watch out for.
18. They never stick to a relationship for a prolonged period
It’s normal to have dated other people before, unless you’ve never had a relationship before or you’re a serial dater. For them, it’s either they just got out of a relationship, or they’ve never committed to a single person in their life.
This such an obvious red flag for you – the fact that they’ve never experienced any kind of serious relationship. [Read: He won’t commit but he won’t let go. What should you do now?]
19. Your friends and family don’t like them
It’s easy to get blinded by the person you’re dating, which is where our friends and family come into significance. If your date seems like the perfect person, as if they’re too good to be true, that’s because they are.
There’s something about them that appears off, and your loved ones clearly see those signs. You should listen to them, as they’re probably on the right track. [Read: 10 ingenious ways to beat a player who’s playing you]
Have you ever encountered a serial dater?
A serial dater is incapable of commitment, which is why they never stick to just one person or relationship for a long period. They’ll do everything in their capacity to land a date with you, even if it’s through desperate measures. Now you know the signs, steer clear of them at all costs!
[Read: Loving a narcissist – How to tell if you’ve fallen for a narcissist]
You’ll want to pay attention when you start dating someone so you don’t end up with a serial dater. If you resonate with most or all of these signs, it’s better to walk away than hurt yourself in the long run. After all, they’ll never commit to you or anyone.
