So, you finally got the person you like to go out with you. Congratulations! But if you find yourself wondering about how to start dating, read on.
People usually know how to date, but like with everything else, there is a right way to do it. You can date anyone however you like, but the fact is that you both need to agree to the dating style that you are both comfortable with.
Whenever I start to date someone, I like establishing ground rules and setting expectations. That’s not to say that you should start dictating your dos and don’ts on the first date. It just means that you have to take every opportunity to open up about what you’re expecting from the dating phase of your relationship.
How do people date these days?
Dating has become so simple since the time of courtships. But there are still many people who still wonder how to start dating. All you have to do these days is spend as much time as possible with each other. The only thing you need to worry about is how to spend this time and what you’re going to talk about.
The usual ritual starts by one person asking the other one out. This can occur immediately, or it can gradually be inserted in a correspondence that has been going on for some time. Some people prefer to ask people out immediately, while others want to take some time to get to know the other person through texting or chatting first.
Dating someone immediately can get a lot out of the way. Your motives are clear from the start, and you know exactly how the next step is going to play out. The latter can be more effective if you’re trying to establish whether you like the person or not.
Some people would prefer to decide this before they meet in person – as is the case with Tinder, where many people aren’t that appealing in person in terms of personality and catfishing tendencies.
How do you start dating?
Starting the process is fairly simple. It gets more complicated down the line, but that’s why we’re here to help. So just follow these tips, and you’ll do just fine.
1. First things first. Ask your crush out!
You’re not even going to get to ask yourself how to start dating someone if you don’t take this first step. If you’re not going to do the asking, you might as well wait until they do.
For the time being, you can flirt with them until they ask you out. You can do this through text, but it feels more special when you do it in person. Don’t think too much about it. Just go with your gut and rip that band-aid off! [Read: How to ask someone out and win them over effortlessly]
2. Choose the location
Depending on both of your intentions, the type of venue for your date will tell you a lot about where things are going. If you eat at a nice restaurant, it means that they want to impress you and create a romantic ambiance for your date.
If they take you somewhere unimpressive like a dive bar, then they’re either trying something new or just don’t want to put in any effort. If it’s up to you, it’s best to choose a date location that is both active and engaging – something that lets you talk, but with activities that will prevent boredom.
We suggest going to amusement parks, cooking classes, or go-kart racing! Here’s a tip: people who experience an adrenaline rush *not from sex* during a date are more likely to fall in love. That’s a great tip for how to start dating. [Read: Top 50 amazing first date ideas to wow your date]
3. Keep an eye out for signs that they don’t want to be in a relationship
On your first date/get-together/hang-out session – depending on what you want to call it – make sure that you listen intently to what your date is saying and not saying. There are some signs that will tell you that a person may not be looking for a serious relationship yet. [Read: Questions to test your compatibility]
Here are some examples of some phrases you have to look out for:
– I just want to have fun and not get too serious.
– I’m seeing this other guy/girl.
– Aren’t you a bit young to settle down?
– I was in a really bad relationship, and I don’t want to go through that again right now.
– I don’t want you to expect too much.
Of course, these are all up for interpretation. But if the sentiment is obvious, just go with your gut. This person is not ready for a relationship. Also check if they keep looking at their phone. It’s only okay if they’re expecting an urgent message, not a booty call text.
4. Talk about things that you’re both interested in separately, as well as things you have in common
When you are wondering about how to start dating, you can be concerned about what to talk about. A diverse set of topics gives you an insight into what kind of person your date is. If you continue to talk about your day, you won’t end up knowing much about that person.
Apart from that, it can get boring after the first course. Researchers suggest talking about travelling. And you don’t have to cram every topic into one date. Just remember that talking is a great way to build a connection and establish trust. [Read: How to perfect your first date conversation]
5. Establish an unspoken schedule for talking
Sometimes, talking on a daily basis comes naturally to people who are dating, but others are more inclined to talk only a few times a week. You and your date need to be on the same page about this.
If you started talking every day and it seems like your date is fine with it, just keep it consistent. If a few months in, things start to change, don’t hesitate to ask your date about it. A radical change in dynamic is something that needs to be addressed. This is why it’s important to know when it’s okay to communicate and when some “alone time” is necessary.
6. Try to see each other every week
When people are still curious about how to start dating, they also are unsure of how often to see their partner. And since you just started dating, it’s only understandable that you’re going to take advantage of the honeymoon phase. This is the part where everything is exciting and you still don’t know what to expect for the dates to come.
Just enjoy it as much as possible. If you can’t see each other that often, make sure that there is a legitimate reason. If there is none, your date is either not that enthusiastic about dating you, or they might be dating someone else in between your own dates. [Read: New relationship advice for a perfect start]
7. Mix it up!
Once you’ve figured out how to start dating, then you could end up in a rut. If possible, try to plan dates in advance. It’s not necessary to involve your partner at every stage of planning, but it’s perfectly fine to have a back-up plan just in case you can’t think of anything new to do.
Dinner every week can get a bit boring, especially if you’ve tried every restaurant in the city. Try to go on a trip together or do something with other people. Spontaneity and variety are important in keeping each other on your toes. Don’t overdo it, though. It might get exhausting if you try to go on high-maintenance dates every week. Try doing it every month!
8. Always be mindful of problematic areas in your dating life
Dating means that you have to invest emotions and feelings into a budding relationship. This means that there will be times when you and your partner don’t see eye to eye. In order to keep your relationship intact, you need to talk about the things that bother you. This way you and your partner can resolve issues together. [Read: 13 relationship mistakes new couples make all the time]
9. Show your appreciation!
The key to a great relationship is to always be appreciative of your partner. But the same goes for them. You and your date should express your happiness and gratitude as much as you can. This allows you to create more value in the relationship.
By keeping each other happy, you can rest assured that your relationship will be more rewarding emotionally – and probably physically too. *wink*wink*
10. Know when to move forward
The most complicated part of dating is deciding when it’s time to be more than just lovers. There are different stages that you have to go through and it almost always culminates with a happily ever after. [Read: 9 relationship stages all couples have to go through]
It doesn’t have to mean marriage – especially since many people are foregoing signing papers at city hall these days. It also doesn’t mean that things might fall apart one day. All of that is up to you and your partner. Just remember to ask questions, listen to your partner, and try your best to understand each other.
Dating is not a task, nor is it a prerequisite to something bigger. You can always approach the person you like in any way you like, but it’s still nice to have some sort of road map that tells you where to go and what to do. I welcome any instruction that tells me how I can be successful in relationships. What happens in between dating, however, is something that we all need to work on.
[Read: 25 must-follow rules for love and a happy relationship]
Are you ready to put these tips for how to start dating to the test? Can you navigate the dating phase of your relationship now that you know what to do? Tell us about your experience in the comments below!
