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How to Start a Conversation With Your Crush: The Secrets to Impress

You like a guy or a girl, but don’t know how to start a conversation with your crush? Use these subtle secrets and you’ll see just how easy it can be!

how to start a conversation with your crush

There are few things more nerve-racking than learning how to start a conversation with your crush, or trying to think of something witty to say in that first conversation.

Of course, your mind goes blank and you can’t stop shaking. But, the good news is that by taking a deep breath and learning the secrets behind starting a conversation with your crush, not only can you talk to them like a cool cat, but you can even get them to crush back on you even before you ever say hello!

But the first thing you need to avoid doing – Overthinking!

So how should you start a conversation with your crush? Should you do it in person? Should you reach out via text or social media?

We’ll get to all of that, but before we talk about how to start a conversation with a guy or girl you like, let’s try to get to the bottom of why we feel what we feel when it comes to crushes.

When you understand the core reasons behind your nervousness, you’ll be able to overcome it faster and smooth-talk your crush in no time!

[Read: How to get your crush to notice you and like you back]

Why do we turn to mush around those we’re crushing on?

Why is it that when we’re around someone we like, we can’t be ourselves? What is it about this person that renders your tongue useless, your brain static, and your body shaking like a leaf? They’re just like you at the end of the day, they’re just a human being. How do you know they’re not crushing on you and feel the same way?

Many people crush on someone, but decide to never talk to them because of the fear of rejection. They just can’t overcome their nerves and assume that they’re just going to make a fool of themselves, so they don’t bother. How many couples never came to be because of this way of thinking?

You might have met the love of your life and you’ll never know it because you’re too scared to talk to them!

So, why is this? It’s usually because when we like someone, we build them up in our minds and put them on a pedestal.

Even the most confident of people start to doubt themselves at this point and they feel like they’re just going to mess up or say something stupid. What your crush thinks about you matters to you, and you’re so hung up on it that you just can’t be yourself.

But the truth comes down to this – If you don’t speak to your crush, you’ll never know if they like you back, or even if there’s a chance to ever date them! [Read: How to get your crush to like you – 22 ways to make him fall hard]

It’s just a conversation

When you’re crushing on someone, your adrenaline goes into overdrive just thinking of talking to them. You breathe heavily, you may even sweat, or forget your words. That is all normal behavior. When you have feelings for someone, especially a crush, it makes you feel physically nervous.

You could have imagined having a conversation with them 100 times in your head or even in your mirror, but now when it is actually about to happen, everything feels different.

It doesn’t have to be scary though. You can learn how to start a conversation with your crush calmly and confidently.

Starting a conversation with a crush is just like having a conversation with anyone else. They are just a person, nothing more and nothing less. The only difference is how you have built them up in your mind. It may seem intense to you, but your fear is not based on reality. [Read: When you see your crush – 13 ways to make them want to come and talk to you]

Don’t think about the worst thing that could happen, why force yourself to think about that? Instead, think about what you want to say.

Don’t overthink their response. And, don’t think about how in a year from now, you could be dating or how they could reject you on the spot. All of this is what makes a simple conversation so scary.

Whether you run in the same crowd or are practically strangers, this is just one small interaction.

Overthinking is the worst thing you can do when talking to your crush because it makes it glaringly obvious that you are not feeling confident in the situation.

Even if you are nervous, which is totally fine, remember that no matter the outcome, doing this is good for you. You are taking a risk by putting yourself out there and that is a great thing. [Read: Do you think your crush likes you back? 15 things you HAVE to do immediately]

The three most important things to remember before talking to your crush

Approaching a new friend and or an acquaintance is so easy, it almost makes you careless. But when it comes to saying hello to a crush, it really is one of the hardest walks you can take.

Firstly, you need to understand that you’re not alone.

Secondly, you need to realize that the longer you take to say hello, the more difficult it’s going to feel.

And thirdly, you need to recognize the fact that you’re making the whole approach harder on yourself because you’re focusing more on the odds of failure and rejection than the conversation itself!

The two approaches to start a conversation with your crush

If you believe you’ll be rejected by your crush if you try to start a conversation with them, then odds are, you will get rejected.

The idea behind approaching a crush is simple. You need to believe that you are worthy of your crush’s attention.

Heck, to actually feel comfortable around your crush, you need to convince yourself that your crush likes you just as much as you like them! [Read: How to be confident – 28 hacks to transform your future forever]

The wrong approach to starting a conversation with your crush

Most guys and girls use the wrong approach to profess their love to a crush.

They skulk behind the scenes for several weeks. They curse themselves for every missed opportunity to talk to their crush, and finally, one fine frustrated day, they say what-the-heck, walk up to their crush with a heart that’s beating deafeningly in their eardrums and blurt out every single emotion they feel towards their crush.

And almost all the time, they walk back with a broken heart because their crush doesn’t feel the same way about them. And all of this happens in under two minutes.

Imagine the pain! You spend weeks or months pining over someone, pluck your courage to walk up to your crush, only to be rejected in under a minute. Really, there must be a better way, don’t you think?

[Read: The right way to get your crush to notice you and like you back]

…and the right approach to start a conversation with your crush

Don’t make the mistake of assuming that you get only one chance to confess your interest in someone. The subtler your approach, the more confident you’d feel around your crush. And the better your results would be.

Really, if you had a choice, would you rather get walked all over by your crush? Or would you like it a lot better if you could subtly get your crush to crush on you before you ever tell them you have a crush on them?!

Don’t be hasty when it comes to revealing your feelings towards a crush. As hard as it is to think with a clear head when it’s clouded by the racing emotions of passion and infatuation, learn to calm your mind.

Take it slow, plan your steps with a calm mind and you’ll see that crushes aren’t painfully embarrassing moments in life, but exciting opportunities to turn something secretive and one-sided into mutual admiration or even true love! [Read: How to hint to someone that you like them over text – 19 risk-free tips]

The first stage – Turn your one-sided crush into mutual admiration

The best way to start a conversation with your crush is not by professing your love to them, but by making that person get interested in you first.

After all, what do you want? Do you just want to confess to your crush you like them? Or would you rather want them to like you back?

If you want your crush to like you back, don’t tell them straight out that you have a crush on them. Make this person get interested in you instead!

The five steps to get your crush to like you before you even say hello

Before you ever start a conversation with your crush, use these five steps to get your crush interested in you. By using these steps, you can turn the table around and make your crush believe they’re the one who’s falling for you.

1. Make eye contact the right way

Don’t just stare at your crush until they lock eyes and look away.

Casually glance towards your crush occasionally, look at them now and then, and always look away just before they lock eyes with you. And sometimes, when you’ve caught their attention and their eye, avoid looking towards them for a few minutes, especially when they’re looking towards you.

Use these 13 subtle eye contact flirting moves to catch their eye from afar, and you’ll make them work to get your attention. You may think this is crazy, but it always works!

2. Appear interesting

Remember, you’re being noticed and judged by the people around you all the time. You may not realize it, but there’s always the potential of someone noticing you unless you’re locked up inside your room.

So try to look good, especially when you’re around your crush. The more interesting you appear, the greater the odds of your crush wanting to know you better. [Read: How to act cool in front of your crush and grab their attention]

3. Be happy

Try not to be nervous. Nervousness isn’t cool, especially when you’re around your crush because it makes you appear awkward and boring.

Try to feel comfortable in the presence of your crush. If getting comfortable takes some time *a few weeks, perhaps?* so be it.

Remember, you don’t have to start a conversation with your crush just yet. Spend a while noticing your crush and feeling comfortable around them, and at the same time, give your crush enough time to notice you and be intrigued. [Read: How to stop being shy around your crush and get their full attention]

4. Common interests

You probably know enough about your crush to know what they like or don’t like, and you’d have a good idea about the activities they enjoy or the things they do, be it yoga class, or having coffee at a particular place on most mornings.

Try to find out if both of you have any common interests that could bring you closer to your crush. After all, the more opportunities to bump into each other, the bigger your chances of a happy ending. [Read: How to tell if your crush likes you – 20 subtle clues before you both start talking]

5. Smile!

Once you start to feel comfortable around your crush, and you notice that your crush has been looking in your direction rather often, it’s time to break the ice.

At the right opportunity, either when you walk past your crush, or if both of you bump into each other, just smile warmly. If you’re feeling confident, you can even wave a hello!

You don’t need to say anything if your heart starts fluttering. Just smile and walk on, because that’s a perfect way to get into each other’s lives!

Building up to the first conversation with your crush

If you’ve played your cards right using the five steps we’ve shared above, chances are, your crush would be just as excited as you to get to know each other. So all you need to do now is play it cool, smile at them or say hello a few times, and when you feel confident enough, just walk up to your crush and strike a conversation.

But this time around, the conversation won’t be a one-sided affair of you confessing that you have a crush. Instead, it’ll be a conversation between two people who like each other and are excited to get to know each other better!

These steps on how to start a conversation with your crush and woo them may seem all too easy, but the truth is, it really is that easy. And you’ll realize just how simple it is as soon as you give these steps a try!

[Read: How to approach your crush – The best ways to get noticed and impress them all at once]

How to start a conversation with your crush – The best ways

Now that you know how to let your crush know you exist and get them interested in you, it’s about learning how to start a conversation with them.

Yes, your heart’s probably beating fast, but guess what? You don’t have to tell your crush you like them. You’re only saying hello and talking to them. So you absolutely don’t have to overthink your conversation!

Starting a conversation with your crush means having an opening line and enough calmness to continue the conversation no matter which direction it takes. That’s all that matters for now.

Here are some tips to help you do that from start to finish.

1. Pick the method that makes you most comfortable

It can often seem the safest option to reach out to your crush over text or social media. That way you have time to think of a response that is clever. But, don’t fall back on texting or social media just because it seems the least scary choice. Sometimes, it can be really hard to keep a conversation going over text, especially if the other person isn’t interested in investing so much time in your conversation just yet.

If you start a conversation with your crush in person, there is a greater chance you will make a real connection. From there, who knows where it may lead? [Read: 28 flirty ways on how to text your crush to get them interested]

2. Pick a common topic

When it comes to knowing how to start a conversation with your crush, many people will tell you to start with a compliment. Although it can’t hurt, it doesn’t exactly initiate a conversation. “I like your tie.” “Did you change your hair?” These are nice but don’t naturally lead to a solid conversation.

Ideally, start your conversation with a current event or common topics, like school or work. For instance, if you’re in college, ask if they have started the paper or if they know the homework, to start things off.

Then, it’s something you are already comfortable talking about and have knowledge of. It also doesn’t feel forced. [Read: 43 things to talk about with your crush and make them interested in you]

3. Appear interested

This is useful if you are talking in person instead of texting. When you’re nervous or attracted to someone you tend to look everywhere but their eyes. This can seem impersonal and prevent you from fully absorbing what they’re saying.

Making eye contact when talking to your crush will enhance your chance at a connection and help the conversation become deeper. It also shows confidence which is instantly attractive. [Read: Prolonged eye contact when flirting – What it means and how to do it]

4. Take your time – but not too much

In-person or via text, take your time with your responses. Be thoughtful but not analytical. If you are texting, you don’t want to rewrite your answer ten times. Just type it and reread it quickly to prevent typos.

If you’re speaking to them in person, let them fully complete their thoughts before responding. Even without the intent, when you are excited to talk to someone, it is normal to cut them off because you want to say something back. This can seem very eager or even rude. Relax and let the conversation flow.

Use this guide on how to talk to your crush and make them fall for you to truly understand the best ways to keep a conversation going with your crush.

5. Let the conversation sustain itself

If the conversation is lagging, let it be. Don’t pull in a random topic just to keep things going. This can feel awkward and forceful and not only will you feel uncomfortable, they likely will too.

Let the conversation flow from one topic to another. Know when to end the conversation and don’t panic about whether it’s the last conversation you’ll ever have. [Read: How to never run out of things to say and banish the awkward silence]

6. Pay attention to words more than the person

When you’re wondering how to start a conversation with your crush, your mind can be so focused on the fact that you’re talking to them that you aren’t even processing the conversation. They could be sharing something very important about themselves or asking you a question, and you could miss it.

Be present in the conversation. Be true to yourself. Interact. Listen. Share.

Offer your opinions and ask questions. Push the thought of “oh my days, I’m actually talking to this person” out of your mind and focus on what they’re saying. [Read: How to impress your crush – 25 ways to steal their heart effortlessly]

7. Don’t have a motive

It’s easy to text your crush or start talking to your crush just hoping they will make life easier for you and ask you out. Or, you might have an opening line ready to tell them you like them. This takes away from the conversation and ends up being limiting. Don’t always look for an end goal out of each interaction with your crush.

If you do this, you are not being fair to them or yourself. Instead of focusing on the end goal of asking them out or getting asked out in every conversation, just enjoy the conversation as is. Don’t expect anything. Just get to know them naturally and see where that leads.

8. Use the opportunity to get to know them

Having a crush on someone means you often build them up in your mind. Maybe they are cute, they do charity work, and are hilarious, but it doesn’t mean you will necessarily have a connection. Don’t lean on the fact that you have a crush.

Just because you’ve put time into thinking about them romantically doesn’t mean you would be a good fit together. Really get to know them during conversations.

Don’t pretend to like what they like or insist you like them just because you can’t wait to date them! Doing this can cause you to ignore some major red flags. [Read: How to get to know your crush ASAP before you fall too hard for them]

9. Let the conversation close on its own

As we said earlier, don’t force the conversation to continue when it has exhausted itself. Via text or social media, you don’t have to say goodbye if a conversation dies down unless you’re going to bed. In-person, just sitting there hoping one of you thinks of something to add is awkward.

Just let the conversation do its thing. You can feel it when a chat is over as you would with anyone else. Say goodbye or see you later and wait until your next conversation. You’ll seem bright and breezy and less stressed and uptight! [Read: How to text your crush without annoying or boring them]

10. When learning how to start a conversation with your crush, don’t try to be someone you’re not

The most important piece of advice is to just be yourself.

That might sound simple but many people find it hard when they’re around someone they’re crushing on. If you try to be someone you’re not, assuming that by doing that they’re going to like you more, you’re going to have a very confusing future as a couple. You’re always going to have to keep up an act and be someone you’re most definitely not. That will be exhausting!

The more you simply relax and be yourself, the easier you’ll find the conversation. Just be you – there’s no one else like you. [Read: How to be yourself – 14 steps to unfake your life and love being you]

It’s easy if you think it’s easy!

We want to leave you with one uplifting piece of advice to carry you through any nerve-wracking interactions with your crush.

Remember this – they’re just a human being. They eat like you, go to the bathroom like you, make mistakes like you, and they crush on people like you. They’re not a superhero or someone you need to bow down to. They’re just the same as you. [Read: How to tell your crush you like them – The 20 best low-risk methods]

It’s normal to build up crushes in your mind, but try to keep it in perspective. Maybe they like you a lot more than you like them. Or maybe you won’t like them as much once you get to know them. Who knows what could happen, because the possibilities are endless.

But here’s what matters – you’ll never know any of this, or experience any of the possibilities, if you don’t know how to start a conversation with your crush. But guess what, now you do!

[Read: How to ask your crush out – 15 steps to be brave, confident and cool]

Learning how to start a conversation with your crush does not have to be as scary as it seems. Just relax, stop overthinking and follow these steps. Use this guide, and you’ll surely be able to leave a memorable impression on your crush.

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Gerry Sanders
Gerry Sanders
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