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How to Kiss Someone for the First Time & 17 Secrets to Make Sparks Fly

That first kiss is always a scary yet exhilarating moment. Will it be amazing? A disaster? Learn how to kiss someone for the first time and get it right.

how to kiss someone for the first time

The first kiss is a big deal. Now, it’s not a deal-breaker if it doesn’t go just as you planned. But it’s a good way to judge if there’s sexual chemistry between you two or not. So, understanding how to kiss someone for the first time is important and helps you to feel less nervous when that spine-tingling moment arrives.

It’s the kiss that makes you think, “do I want more of this or not?” Now, most people have had some horrible first kisses, but they often end up going really well the second or third time around. So, you shouldn’t judge everything just by the first kiss.

If your partner is nervous or not feeling well, it changes everything. But, of course, you want to make the first kiss as intense and emotional as possible. [Read: 22 tips to make it the perfect first kiss]

Why do we place so much pressure on the first kiss?

We know that a first kiss is special. It’s a moment we won’t forget and as we’ve already established, it helps us decide whether we want more of it or not.

However, there are so many things that can go wrong with that first smooch, that it makes you wonder why we place so much pressure on ourselves. [Read: The major first kiss red flags that suggest the relationship will be toxic]

In many ways, kissing someone for the first time is all about first impressions. It’s really the first impression of yourself as someone who is a sexual being. Sure, they’ve seen you flirt and look great, but this is an action that physically involves them, it’s something you’re actually doing to show them that you like them in that way – both sexually and romantically.

If it goes badly, you worry that they won’t want to see you again or that they’ll assume you’re terrible at everything intimacy-related.

However, that’s not the truth. Most people are so nervous about that first kiss they don’t even remember it properly.

Even if they do, they’re so stressed about what the other person thought of their kissing effort, that they don’t really think about yours at all!

Basically, we’re putting a whole lot of pressure on ourselves and focusing on one kiss, when we should just be going with the flow. After all, kisses always get better the more you know someone!

How to kiss someone for the first time and leave a great impression

No matter what you read about first kisses, it will always be terrifying. Yes, you should follow these tips, but if you sweat from anxiety, it won’t matter what we say because you probably won’t do it. So, don’t put so much pressure on yourself, it’s really not worth it!

Instead, think of it like a hug. It’s the first time you’re hugging them. True, it sounds lame but it’s not, it helps you to calm down for the big kiss. You just need to go with the flow.

1. Pay attention to hygiene

Now, sometimes, you don’t know the first kiss is going to happen. If you have an idea that it may happen, pay attention to what’s going on in your mouth.

Take a couple of minutes to brush your teeth, pop a couple of breath mints, and avoid eating smelly foods such as onions or garlic. But, if you don’t prepare, don’t worry. In those cases, they probably didn’t either. [Read: 33 subtle signs to know when to kiss a girl and time the moment right]

2. Don’t force it

For sure, you know you want to kiss this person, but relax. Your first kiss shouldn’t be something forced, something that you planned meticulously.

Your first kiss should come in a moment where you both want it, the moment when you both know it’s the right time. If you feel like it’s something you need to do, that’s totally fine, but you don’t need to push it. [Read: 23 signs he wants to kiss you badly and how to know the exact moment when he’ll try]

3. Be a little flirty

Before the kiss, give signals to show the other person you want to kiss them. This means you need to be flirty and touchy.

They can’t read your mind and see what you really want, so guide them to the answer. Touch them playfully when you talk, hug them, and be physically close to them. If they respond positively, it shows their interest.

4. Actually look at how they interact with you

Sometimes, we get so caught up in our own feelings that we completely ignore the other person’s. So, how do you know if they want to kiss you if you’re not paying attention to their body language and reactions?

If they avoid eye contact with you and stay away from any physical contact, it doesn’t sound like interest.

5. Establish eye contact

Eye contact is extremely important when it comes to the first kiss. There’s always that moment before the kiss when it goes silent.

That’s usually when you look into each other’s eyes and give each other a silent confirmation that you want to kiss. If they avoid eye contact, that’s usually a good sign that they’re not interested. [Read: How to initiate a kiss that’ll make them remember you forever]

6. Ask them if they want you to kiss them

When it comes to knowing how to kiss someone for the first time, many people think asking to kiss someone is a great way to kill the buzz.

However, that’s wrong. If someone is really into you and you ask them for a kiss, they think it’s super sweet and respectful. Plus, if you’re not 100% sure that they’re into you, this clears the air and gives you an answer.

7. Slowly move closer to them

If you want to go in for a kiss, move in closer to them. Make sure you stand or sit close to them, so you don’t lunge into them for a kiss.

You want your face to slowly move into theirs, that way, they have time to either move forward or pull back.

8. Tilt your head slightly – bumped noses are no fun!

When you move your face close to theirs, you’ll want to ever so slightly tilt your head to the side. By doing this, you avoid knocking your nose into theirs—not the best way to start your first kiss, let’s stay away from the emergency room.

Though, if you do happen to knock noses, just laugh it off—it’s cute. [Read: The meaning of a forehead kiss – What makes this kiss so special?]

9. Part your lips as you move in

When your head is tilted and you move in, part your lips slightly, almost as if breathing through your mouth. With your lips, aim for one of their lips, usually the bottom one, and press your lips against theirs.

10. Breathe through your nose!

Unless you have a stuffy nose, breathe through your nose. Taking huge gasps of air while kissing isn’t the sexiest move.

But, if you can’t breathe through your nose, don’t worry about it, just breathe through your mouth softly when you start to feel breathless. [Read: How to kiss a friend accidentally and get away with it]

11. Carefully incorporate your hands

When you kiss, feel free to use your hands. Run it through their hand, caress their face, or hold onto their arms, back, or waist.

When you use your hands, you add more sensuality to the kiss which makes the other person relaxed and aroused. However, don’t go over the top and start randomly groping them – that’s never a good move. [Read: How to kiss a guy well – 21 secrets to arouse him with your lips]

12. Just remember to enjoy it!

The first kiss is always the most exciting. After all, you kiss someone for the first time only once.

But, don’t overthink it. In the end, it comes naturally to you. You’ll learn what you like and don’t like to do while kissing. In addition, the first kiss also shows you if you’re interested in something more or not with them.

What not to do when kissing someone for the first time

We’ve talked about chilling out, taking the pressure off, and we’ve covered what you should do. Now, let’s talk about just a few things you certainly shouldn’t do. If you want to make the best first impression, avoid these pitfalls and you should be golden. [Read: 35 bad kiss signs and how to transform into an irresistible kisser]

1. Don’t go straight in with the tongue

Please avoid this at all costs! The first kiss should be gentle, searching, and intimate. It shouldn’t be a full-on passion-fest with more tongue action than an ice lolly gets!

Stick with gentle kissing first and see how that goes. If they seem like they want more, you can slowly incorporate a little tongue action – but only a little! Save all of that for later in the relationship. [Read: 20 secrets to initiate kissing with tongue and make them want more of it]

2. Don’t grope them

We’ve covered this one slightly but it’s worth mentioning again. It’s great to use your hands but do not grope them or move your hands to any place that’s off-limits during the first kiss.

You’re only just kissing them for the first time, so keep your hands to yourself!

Hands on their hips is fine, but only if they seem to be fine with it – if you notice they pull back or feel uncomfortable, move your hands completely. It all comes down to respect. [Read: How to kiss a girl for the first time and not screw up]

3. Control your saliva!

Yes, they make you weak at the knees and you want to drool whenever they’re around, but please, keep your saliva in check!

When you’re kissing them, make sure you’re not accidentally slobbering all over them. You do not have to kiss like a washing machine and you do not need lubrication to be able to kiss well!

It won’t leave the best first impression, so just pull back a little.

4. Don’t move too fast

The first kiss is always nerve-wracking so it’s understandable that you might jump ahead and try and get it over and done with to some extent. However, it’s not meant to be a fast thing, it’s supposed to be savored and enjoyed.

Slow down. Move at a pace that’s comfortable for both of you and remember to enjoy it – this isn’t supposed to be a torturous thing! [Read: Simple peck or steamy makeout? What you can learn from a first kiss]

5. Don’t try to take it any further

For the most part, first kisses are just that – a kiss and a goodnight. Of course, some kisses lead to other things but that’s not something you should assume.

Don’t try and take it any further than the kiss. Enjoy the kiss, have another kiss if you want to, but say goodnight and send a text. That’s the most romantic and respectful routine here. If you push things, it just makes you appear to be only after one thing.

The most important thing to remember when learning how to kiss someone for the first time? Don’t overcomplicate things! Sure, you’ve just read a list of do’s and don’ts but so many of these come down to common sense and being respectful.

Enjoy that magical moment and there are sure to be many more to come.

[Read: How to make out and 22 secrets to leave anyone moaning with pleasure in your arms]

Now that you know how to kiss someone for the first time, it’s time to put those tips into practice. Just remember to relax and go with the flow. 

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The editorial team of LovePanky comprises relationship experts and real-life experts that share their experiences and life lessons. If you want the best love ad...