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The Best Ways to Get a Narcissist to Chase You & Why It’s a Bad Idea!

Trying to get a narcissist to chase you is wishing for pain. Here’s why it’s far better to avoid narcissists altogether.

how to get a narcissist to chase you

The fact that the word ‘narcissist’ is trending these days doesn’t mean you should learn how to get a narcissist to chase you. Unless you enjoy drama, then a narcissistic in your life will certainly add a dramatic element. But let’s be honest, getting your heart broken isn’t worth the risk.

Narcissists prey on the vulnerable, but they’re also not too fussy about manipulating someone who is strong and confident. It’s all too easy to fall into the clutches of a narcissist simply because they’re ultra-charming at the start.

They charm you and twist everything, creating a life that you can’t believe is real. The thing is, it’s not real, it’s all a lie. With that in mind, why would you be wondering how to get a narcissist to chase you?

[Read: We accept the love we deserve – why aren’t you worthy?]

The very thought that someone wanted to have a narcissist in their life is pretty concerning! It basically means that you don’t know what a narcissist is or what they can really do. You’re better off staying away from that situation. Find someone who treats you with respect and has empathy and love for you, the real kind, not the fake kind.

[Read: 15 early signs of an abusive relationship that reveal a dark side]

What is a narcissist?

Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental condition in which someone has an exaggerated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention, admiration, and a lack of compassion for others.

A narcissistic person lives in a fantasy world that supports their delusions of grandeur. They’re willing to exploit other people without guilt or shame, but since they’re so confident, people tend to fall for them despite their red flags.

You may think that with their massive egos, narcissists never apologize. This is not entirely true. While many traits of narcissism, such as entitlement and arrogance, make it difficult for them to admit to their faults, they may use apologies with ulterior motives.

[Read: What causes narcissism? The facts and theories to read a narcissist’s mind]

They would avoid deep conversations where they must explore their feelings, but at the same time, they would bring up some mistake in the past to guilt trip you because they’re not about forgive-and-forget. Most importantly, narcissists never put you first. Everything they do for you is calculated, even if it seems spontaneous.

That doesn’t sound like the kind of person you would want in your life, does it?!

[Read: How to handle a narcissist and not fall apart or lose yourself]

How to get a narcissist to chase you – The most effective ways

The only reason a person would want a narcissist to do the chasing is because it’s flattering. This is someone who will pull out all the stops to charm the life out of you. Of course, that feels good. It will boost your confidence and make you feel like the most special person in the world.

The problem is, that’s what they want you to feel. And it’s the key to sinking their claws into you and manipulating you from that point onwards.

So, follow these tips at your own risks. It can be good for your ego as long as you’re certain that you’re not going to fall for them. Here are the most powerful tips on how to get a narcissist to chase you!

[Read: Why do women stay in abusive relationships? 15 reasons why]

1. Show off your confidence

The best way to overpower a narcissist and make them chase you is to be more confident than them. They thrive on the idea that they’re the best and the rest of us should treat them like some sort of gods.

So if you can prove to them that they’re not as special and powerful as they think they are, you’ll easily get their attention.

Never doubt yourself no matter how hard they try to make you feel small and insecure. You already know who you are, what you want, and what you deserve. This gives the narcissist no choice but to view you as their equal rather than prey.

Now, their job is to try to get you on their side. You win.

[Read: How to gain confidence and turn your life around for the better]

2. Listen to them actively

Another tip to get a narcissist to chase you is to listen to them actively.

Narcissists love talking about themselves. If they try to get you to talk about yourself, it’s only because they want to use that information against you in the future, or in a way that benefits them. There’s nothing they love more in this world than themselves. So why not give them what they want?

Listen to them and don’t talk much about yourself. By doing so, you’ll learn more about them, and give them no power over you. This puts the narcissist in a more vulnerable position, and they cannot help but chase you instead.

[Read: 19 ways on how to be a better listener in a relationship]

3. Flaunt your special skills

If you have any special skills, don’t be afraid to show them off. As mentioned above, a narcissist looooooves feeling superior. Flaunting your special skills will beat them at their own game.

But be careful. If they know that you know you’re talented, they may try to tear your confidence down. You must overcome self-doubt in order to not let them manipulate and gaslight you.

[Read: 17 symptoms of narcissism that make someone mean, aloof & detached]

4. Consult them for advice

If you constantly consult a narcissist for advice, they will start chasing you. A narcissist love giving advice as much as bragging about themselves. When you ask for their advice, it makes them think that they’re important and in a higher position than you. Because why would you go to someone lesser to seek consult?

They’ll be naturally drawn to you and keep coming back to you for confidence boosts.

[Read: 40 rules & dating advice for women tired of bad dates & shitty men]

5. Ride with their wave

Narcissists don’t like it when someone keeps acting against them. So another great way to get a narcissist to chase you is to go with the flow. Make them think that it’s you and them against the world. That you’ll always be there for them and support them no matter what.

But make sure not to blindly follow their lead and get yourself hurt or negatively affect others. You should still have a mind of your own, which will set you apart from their vulnerable victims.

[Read: How to escape the harmful effects of toxic love]

6. Show interest in their interests

You don’t have to force yourself to like everything they like, or practice to play the sports they play to impress them. As long as you show some interest in their hobbies, you already have the upper hand.

Narcissists are drawn to those who make them feel good about themselves. It’s rare to find someone who’s willing to discuss their niche interests with them without getting bored. So you’ll definitely stand out. [Read: 22 new relationship advice & tips to avoid newbie mistakes many make]

7. Don’t give them attention for a bit

Okay, now that you’ve got their attention, it’s time for you to take attention off of them. Ignore them for a bit. If you used to reply to their messages right away, leave them on seen.

This is quite toxic behavior, which isn’t recommended if you’re actually invested in building a genuine connection with someone. But since you’re dealing with a narcissist and just want to toy with them, you’re a player in a game. You need to be wise and strategic.

[Read: 18 tempting ways to get a guy’s attention wherever you are & wow him]

Just put yourself in their shoes. Would you go insane if the person who always comes to you for advice, listens to you, and supports you at all costs, suddenly ignored you? Definitely.

[Read: How to stop giving the narcissist the attention they crave]

8. Play hard to get

Now that they’re freaking out because you’re ignoring them, it’s time to challenge them even more. Start giving them attention again, but be inconsistent. Make them work for it. [Read: Should you play hard to get with a guy?]

9. Match their energy

In the next step, you must try to match their energy. If they give you nothing, give them nothing. If they meet you halfway, do that. Same as when they’re passionate and caring. Soon they’ll realize the pattern and adjust their behaviors to please you.

Now that the power is balanced, they have nothing against you.

10. Always look your best around them

Confidence is so important when dealing with a narcissist. It’s what decides if you’re their equal or their inferior. And the best way to build confidence is to feel comfortable in whatever you’re wearing.

So put on your best outfits, wear makeup *or not*, do whatever makes you feel most confident. Because looks do matter, especially to these narcissists. Try it, and you’ll see the instant result!

[Read: How to dress sexy – 29 subtle & classy ways to make them lust for you]

Why getting a narcissist to chase you is a bad idea

Now that you have all the tips to get a narcissist to chase you. Let’s look into why it’s a bad idea and you’re better off without them in your life.

[Read: The most important reasons to love yourself first before falling in love]

1. You can get emotionally drained

Dealing with a narcissist is not a walk in the park. It’s not cute or sexy like you’ve seen in movies.

A narcissist will appear wonderful and charming at first, as mentioned, but as the weeks and months progress, they will slowly show their true colors. Then, when you wonder why they’re not being their usual charming “self,” they’ll revert back, so you don’t suspect anything.

In the middle of all of this, the gaslighting will begin. This is a form of emotional manipulation that basically causes you to slowly doubt and question your own sanity.

At the same time, they will pull you away from your family and friends. As your loved ones start to wonder what is going on, and maybe warn you, you won’t listen, because you’re completely hooked by this point.

As the gaslighting and manipulation continue, you’re completely reliant upon your narcissist, and they love it. This is exactly what they wanted.

[Read: 15 signs of manipulation in a relationship you should never ignore]

2. You will be a project for the narcissist to pursue

Just because a narcissist chases you, it doesn’t mean you’re special or better than the rest. Yes, in some cases, you can outsmart and overpower a narcissist. But it’s not always successful.

Narcissists are sly, and the only way to really get ‘one up’ on a narcissist is to come to the realization that you need to leave and do it. That’s the single best option you have, and there really is no other one available to you.

Narcissists also only want people around them who make them look good. Again, ask yourself this, if you want a narcissist to chase you, does that mean you want to feel good because someone has chosen you? *gasp, are you a narcissist yourself?!*

You deserve better than this and don’t need to be chased by a toxic person to know it. It doesn’t end well, truly it doesn’t.

[Read: How to beat a narcissist – 14 ways to win over their manipulation]

Is a narcissist a bad person?

That’s a tough one. On the surface, it certainly looks that way, doesn’t it? However, it’s a little deeper than that.

A true narcissist is suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder. In actual fact, the way they are isn’t truly intentional. Does that make it okay? Not at all.

Just because someone in your life has a personality disorder doesn’t mean you should put up with it and be a toy for them to play around with whenever they want to. By asking how to get a narcissist to chase you, sure, you might get the initial thrill, but you’re playing with fire. They’re experts at manipulating even the strongest of people.

It’s far better to get someone to chase you who doesn’t fall into the narcissistic category!

[Read: How to quickly recognize narcissistic traits in a relationship]

Asking how to get a narcissist to chase you is almost narcissistic in itself. Don’t push pain onto yourself for no reason. Good luck!

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Nicky Curtis
Nicky Curtis
Having stumbled from one relationship drama to another throughout her 20s, Nicky is now somewhat of a guru in the crazy world of life and love. Telling it how i...
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