Are you struggling to comfortably date someone who is significantly older than you are? Here are 7 tips to bring you closer to a successful romance! By Bennett O’Brien
Occasionally in life, you may find yourself very attracted to, or very compatible with, someone who is a lot older than you. When this happens, should you attempt to date the person and see what happens? Or should you let the opportunity slide, and stick to someone in your own age range?
Some may say that it’s not a good idea, because the age gap can cause a lot of conflict. Others would say that it’s fine since you can learn more from your older partner. When you choose to go through with it, what should you do to make your relationship stronger? [Read: When should age differences in relationships matter?]
How to date an older partner
When you have no idea what to do to ensure a lasting relationship with your older partner, here are some handy tips.
#1 Look for common ground. When there is a significant age gap between you and your partner, you may find that a lot of the things you have in common with people your age don’t necessarily apply to your new partner.
For example, if you are twenty-five, you may be on Twitter or Instagram all the time, but if you are dating someone who in their late thirties, or early forties, he or she may not be very into those things. Likewise, they may be more into reading magazines like Time or Reader’s Digest, while you’re more into FHM or Cosmopolitan.
However, if you can find some things that you both enjoy, this will help you to bond better. Maybe you like the same types of music, or you’re both into travelling, or you enjoy going to the gym. There is bound to be at least a few things that you both really enjoy, and spending time doing them may help to make your relationship better. [Read: 50 compatibility questions to ask in your relationship]
#2 Have a sense of humor about it. If you and your partner can laugh at the situation from time to time, it may help things to remain light and carefree. Joke about grey hairs, or about you still being in diapers when your partner got his or her first kiss. Having a positive and carefree attitude about it can help to keep things light.
Perhaps you both can just view it as a type of experiment, or adventure and not take it too seriously in the beginning. Then, if it really takes off, you will know that it is simply because you were right for each other. Love can transcend many boundaries, and age is just another one of them. [Read: 25 relationship rules for a successful love life]
#3 Avoid judgmental people. Specifically cutting out people who judge you will definitely help. Dating someone who is way older than you can be uncomfortable enough to begin with at first. If you are surrounded by negative people who are judging you for dating someone out of your typical age range, avoiding them will do you a ton of good.
In general, avoiding negative people can increase your happiness in life. Remember that age is just a number. Despite the fact that your partner may be ten or fifteen years older than you, that doesn’t mean that you aren’t compatible. People who insist on seeing only the age gap shouldn’t be allowed to affect your relationship. [Read: 5 things to keep in mind when dealing with judgmental people]
#4 Get inspiration from famous couples who have a major age gap. Sometimes, Hollywood provides us with examples of couples who have major age gaps, but still seem to work quite well. Some examples of this are Madonna, Jennifer Lopez, Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore.
All of these celebrities have been involved in relationships with significant age gaps. Some of those relationships ended in breakups or divorces, but that doesn’t mean that they didn’t work out well for a long period of time. Knowing that there are couples out there who have a huge age gap can help you see that age shouldn’t be an issue when it comes to finding true love.
#5 Play to your strengths. The interesting thing about couples with significant age gaps is that it can allow each person to bring unique skills to the relationship. This can actually help it to function even better. For example, the person who is older may bring more wisdom, maturity, and financial resources, whereas the younger person may bring more energy, youthfulness, and excitement.
In the right circumstances, this can actually be very beneficial. After all, relationships involve each person giving something that benefits the other person. So if you and your partner can add value to the other’s life, then the generational difference is working out well for you!
#6 The uncertainty can be part of the fun of the relationship. It’s a risk! But dating is always a risk. So try to just have fun, enjoy the ride and see what happens. The more time you spend with the person, the more you will be able to tell if he or she is right for you.
You never know who you will fall for. It could be someone your own age, or it could be somebody ten to twenty years older than you. But at any rate, you don’t want to miss out on a great relationship simply because you judge someone based on their age.
#7 Maturity matters. The most important part of dating someone older is being able to meet in the middle, in terms of maturity. If you find that you can relate to each other well because you have the same wavelength, then the number of years separating you should be a non-issue.
Let the haters hate. When you know deep down that dating someone who’s older than you can bring fulfillment to both of your lives, all the snide remarks, judgmental comments and nagging thoughts can be safely pushed into the background.
[Read: The pros and cons of dating a younger man]
People who are older than you may not be able to offer you the exact same things that people who are your own age might. However, they may be able to bring even better things into your relationship!
