Dating ain’t what it used to be, and so you’re playing a whole different ball game. Unsure of what to do? Here is some advice for dating in your 30s.
First of all, it isn’t easy, and dating in your 30s doesn’t get easier. The first date jitters, the tedious small talk, and the hours of preparation in the bathroom. And for what? Some guy or girl that you may or may not hit it off with?
But a little something called hope keeps us going for more.
What it’s like dating in your 30s
If you’re fresh into your 30s *or even well into this decade* and trying to figure out how the dating scene works, I’m right here beside you. Let’s take a look at what it’s like dating in your 30s.
#1 Slim pickings. Yeah, you may be walking into the dating community thinking that it’s gonna be flowing with men. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it is heavily stocked with men. But, you’re going to be going through a lot of partied out bachelors and a fair share of divorcees.
I don’t know which is worse, probably the bachelors since all they’ve done is live in party land. So, basically, there are three types of men: those who can’t commit, those who can but want to be careful, and those who are normal. Aim for the third group.
#2 The biological clock is ticking. Whether you like it or not, there’s a biological clock ticking in all of us women. So, if you’re interested in having kids when you’re dating in your 30s, you’re not looking for a boyfriend – you’re looking for a sperm donor.
You’re looking for a partner who has a stable job, stable mind, and wants to start a family. So, though dating should be fun for you, you’re probably sitting at the bar with this guy with a checklist in the back of your mind. [Read: Ways to know if you are ready for a baby]
#3 You know what you want. By the time you reach 30, you know what you want. You know, somewhat, what kind of guy you’d like in your life and where you’d like to be in 5 or 10 years. Your 20s was mostly spent wasting money on clothes and cocktails.
However, with every drunken night spent, you learned more about yourself. And now you’re here, clear-minded with a sense of where you want your life to go.
#4 Men want them young. This part’s a bummer. Men in their 30s aren’t really looking for women in their age group. They want them young. They want fresh meat, so don’t take it personally. They want this because they’re immature and can’t handle a woman who’s experienced.
Younger women have that “fertile” look to them. If you think back, older men were probably hitting on you when you were in your 20s. Well, now you’re in your 30s and they’re nowhere to be seen. It’s for the best – you don’t want an old guy anyway. [Read: Why you should date an older man at least once]
#5 You’re well educated on the dating scene. You’ve done this all before. You know when a guy is just looking to score or when he’s a little on the creepy side. Why? Because you’ve been on hundreds of dates and you know the signs before you even see them. You’re a seasoned dater. So, take this knowledge and use it to your advantage when sifting through the eligible bachelors.
#6 Young guys want you. Young guys dig older women. No, you’re not a MILF – you haven’t made it to that status yet *unless you have a child*. So, congratulations. Younger men always want to have an experience with an older, wiser, and sexier woman. So, basically, they’re looking for an another mommy. I know, you’re still young. I’m on your side. [Read: Cougar dating – rules for dating an older woman]
#7 Men are intimidated by you. Makes sense. I mean, you’ve been there and done that. So, when you’re sitting across the table from your date and you’re telling him about your educational background and where you’ve traveled, hell yes, you’re intimidating. When you were in your 20s, your ambitions were seen as sweet, but now that you’ve completed them, you’re a lethal weapon.
#8 Wing-women don’t exist. Yeah, you should know this by now. Most of your friends are engaged or married, so they’re not hitting the bars with you in hopes of meeting a nice guy. They’re done. It even makes dating more difficult since usually couples hang out with other couples. Not good if you’re looking to mingle. [Read: Signs your friends are ruining your relationship]
#9 You may come with extra baggage. You have a couple of serious relationships under your belt, so naturally, that comes with its own set of baggage. This is completely normal.
In your 20s, your biggest issue was passing an exam or making sure you had enough travel money. Now, you may have children, be in debt, or have issues developed from your ex, so this is going to be a challenge.
These issues will all come up eventually when you’re dating. Oh, and they’ll have their own baggage as well. Double the baggage, double the fun.
#10 You’ll want to cut the crap. You don’t want to do the whole, “where are you from, do you have any siblings” deal. It gets slightly old and exhausting. You want to find someone good, so you want to make sure you’re not wasting your time. You’ll be researching their dating profile, seeing their goals, where they work – you know, things that may affect you. [Read: Tricky mind games men play and how women can win]
#11 You stop pretending. By 30, you know who you are, and you’re not trying to impress anyone. This is the beautiful part about being in your 30s – you don’t care about trying to make people like you. You are who you are. Which is the best part about dating in your 30s.
#12 You feel like old news. You’ll feel a little old when you get back into the dating scene. You’re in your 30s, and no one wants to start back at square one at that point. So, it’s a little like failing a class and having to retake it the year after. You’ve done it before, and everyone realizes you’re older than them.
#13 You become realistic. Every girl wants to find their Prince Charming. Well, at least that’s what Disney taught us. But, by 30, you realize that perfect princes don’t exist and you become more realistic.
People are flawed, men are flawed, you are flawed. There’s going to be something he does that annoys you. But ask yourself, do his positive qualities outweigh the annoying things he does? Probably. So, you’ll go for it. [Read: Unrealistic expectations that can ruin your love life]
Don’t think of dating in your 30s as some daunting task. If anything, it’s a great opportunity to go into the dating scene knowing exactly who you are and what you’re looking for.
