Introverts can be really confusing and difficult to understand. But if you want to date an introvert, here are a few things you need to know about them.
Being an introvert, I understand our crazy ways. Well, they’re not crazy to me, but I can understand how an extroverted person could see our musings as crazy or just plain weird. I promise that there is a reason for everything we do, you just might have to get used to it.
Many people think of themselves as introverts because they like movies, reading, and being indoors on crappy days. However, a true introvert has an entire personality that not many people even get to witness.
What is an introvert?
For those of you who aren’t familiar with what exactly an introvert is, I’ll explain it as simply as I can. Basically, from an outsider’s view, an introvert is someone who is shy, withdrawn, and even sometimes antisocial.
But what an introvert REALLY is is a person who is drained by being around a ton of people. They gain their energy when they’re alone, oftentimes pursuing creative projects. They can’t handle huge crowds for very long, yet they find complete happiness being alone. [Read: Introverts vs. extroverts: Which side are you on?]
Things everyone should know before dating an introvert
From those descriptions, it may sound like a chore to date someone who is so withdrawn and distant from a lot of people. But in all reality, dating an introvert can be one of the most rewarding things you’ll ever do.
However, there are certain aspects of introverted behavior that you’ll have to know about before diving into a relationship with one. Here are all the things you need to know before dating an introvert.
#1 We NEED alone time. We don’t just like watching Netflix by ourselves because it means we’re ditching our responsibilities; we NEED to sit and watch Netflix by ourselves in order to be sane. Alone time is what we need to refuel ourselves.
We can’t spend day in and day out being around someone else. This might make it frustrating for you if you want to spend the day with us and we don’t want to be around you, even if we’re just chilling at home alone. [Read: How to make the absolute most out of your alone time]
#2 No, we’re not upset. Just because we want to leave a bar or party early doesn’t mean we’re mad or upset. It just means that we’ve hit our quota for how much “people time” we can handle at once. We’re perfectly fine – as long as we get away from the crowd in a reasonable amount of time.
#3 We’re not shy. People mistake introverted people for shy people all the time. The truth is, if you come up to us and strike up a conversation, we’ll be more than happy to talk to you without an issue. We actually love to talk to people.
The problem comes when too many people start to talk to us at the same time and we can’t balance them all at once. So instead of trying, we just sort of shut down and don’t speak, thus, making us look pretty shy. [Read: Why introverts are much more than just shy and awkward]
#4 If you don’t hear from us for a while, we’re not mad, we’re recuperating. We don’t need constant communication with our significant others. In fact, we don’t even want it. So if we kind of go MIA for a few days with only a couple texts here and there, we’re probably not mad at you – we’re just refueling.
#5 You shouldn’t spring things on us last-minute. Hello anxiety! Introverts usually plan their days to be spent at home reading or watching a movie. We do like to go out every now and then, but we like to do so if we’ve planned for it.
So springing a night out on us last-minute will fill us with anxiety and will most likely result in a response of, “Oh sorry! I have plans already,” even if our plans only involved us, a bath, and a good book.
#6 We can’t spend more than a few hours with a crowd. And that’s pushing it. A concert is about all we can take, and then we need complete solitude for a good hour in order to replenish the lost energy. So don’t expect us to spend a day out in public and then a night on the town. We can’t do it! [Read: 10 motivational tips-n-tricks for shy people and introverts]
#7 We’re the BEST listeners. Sometimes, we’re a bit too good. We will thoroughly listen to each and every thing that you have to say. But just be careful, because we can listen a little too well, so you can never lie to us.
We’re also very good at remembering details because we listen so well, so you can’t pull a fast one on an introvert. But when you have problems to spill, we’ll be there.
#8 We’ll be the most loyal to you. We’re not about going out and finding so many other people to talk to and be with and take home. No! That being said, we will be the most loyal to you. We don’t want to spend the energy going to look for someone else when we’ve already found what we want. [Read: 18 emotional affair signs you probably didn’t notice]
#9 You’ll never have to worry about us going out for too long. Send us out for a night with our friends and you’ll get us back within a few hours, tops. You’ll never have to worry about us going out and staying out excessively.
#10 You can always expect that we’ll be down for a movie/chill night. If you’ve had a rough day and want to cancel plans for going out that night, don’t even think for a second that we’ll be bummed about it. We would prefer a movie night over an outing any day.
#11 We’re not always verbal about our feelings. Introverts tend to hide their feelings more so than other personality types. You won’t always know when we’re mad, sad, upset, or sometimes even happy. You may have to ask more often than not if you really want to know what we’re feeling. [Read: 10 ways to read mixed signals and turn the signs into love]
#12 We will never call the pizza delivery guys. Or the Chinese food place or anywhere, for that matter. Introverts HATE being on the phone with strangers. It’ll take a lot for us to actually place a phone call somewhere. And if you call from a different phone and we don’t have the number, don’t expect us to answer, because we won’t.
#13 We love cuddling. Even though introverts don’t like being around a lot of people, they love being close to those people who they do enjoy being around. This means that we love cuddling. Coming in for a close hug will leave us elated. [Read: How to cuddle: Cuddling positions to be a loving cuddler]
#14 We love animals… like all of them. Animals are different than people. For most introverts, animals actually serve the purpose of energizing us. We can be in the middle of hundreds of different animals for hours on end and never feel the exhaustion of being in a crowd.
This means that you should prepare to have a lot of pets around because we love their company, as well as the fact that we don’t get drained from an animal’s company like we do humans’.
#15 We get frustrated by our introverted behavior sometimes. If, for some reason, we suddenly get annoyed and frustrated, it might not be at you at all. We could be mad at ourselves for being such introverts when we want to be extroverts.
We WANT to go to that party. We WANT to go on that cruise. We WANT to be introduced to all of your friends. However, we just can’t handle those things all the time, and it can make us mad. So just understand that when we’re mad for no reason sometimes, there really is a reason, and that reason just may be ourselves.
[Read: The introvert’s foolproof guide to dating an extrovert]
There are a few things that make dating an introvert difficult, but there’s even more to love. Before you set your sights on an introverted person, you should know these 15 quirks they have first.
